[monsterfucker69420]

I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person

[mevil]

[egberts]

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[ecooli]

wow i just spent hours reading through my old asks. what a journey. who remembers/was around for the first kiss stories lol

[ecooli]

lol just going to pop in here a year later and then disappear in the night. We miss you Megan!

Per usual 😈

[radroach1994-deactivated2019082]

idk where the source for this is but i literally cant sleep bc im laughing at it so much and cant stop looking at it

[iloveyournudity]

why are women so terrible?

[radroach1994-deactivated2019082]

tfw ur offended by a sad frog meme

[haveitjoeway2-deactivated201608]

*watches porn*

me: this intro is taking too long

*skips one minute* 

*they eating ass*

me: now i gotta rewind because ive obviously missed a key element to the story

[rob-walks-deactivated20210614]

[imninm-deactivated20160505]

IM SCREAMING

[gunsounds-deactivated20170824]

Stoppppppp

[egberts]

someone: *drives next to me in the other lane at the exact same speed*

me: don’t make it weird

[siahatha]

it’s time we start oppressing ppl that use the word “hubby”

[acoolguy]

sorry but “Hubble Space Telescope” takes too long to say

[rcktpwr]

we all need to fuck

[acoolguy]

you tell me this the day after i trade my penis in at gamestop

[ecooli]

sibling rivalry

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

[neutralbacteria]

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[mayuzane]

When the referee just realized you made an illegal move

[memescomedy]

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

there were better ways to do this. those signs do come off

[neonprotagonist]

they actually grow back when you try to do that though. like lizard tails.

[memewhore]