Randomness Ensues @eh-440 - Tumblr Blog

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leahberman

suddenly quiet

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#pretty things

87-pounds-deactivated20160310

my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

magicoftelevision

thebagelhut

I see this and raise you: getting cards for a wildly different occasion and customizing them to fit the holiday you need

motherhenna

discount-butlins

oakh4rt

throwback to the time my partner put in his 2 week notice with a birthday card for a 2 year old

silly-slacker-person

King

kkshowtunes

Once I got a card that said “BEST GREAT GRANPA EVER!!”

I’m a teenager

unscharf-an-den-raendern

officialqueer

I’ve been doing this for my dad’s birthday the last few years.

It’ll get old one day, but today is not that day.

bellasauruss

IM GOING TO LOOSE IT ALL OF THESE ARE GOLD AND SHOULD BE HUNG UP IN A SPECIAL PLACE

heehoopusswagon

nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it

probsjosh

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

theotheristhedoctor

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

gaangarang

[Toph eventually slips up and is captured by the city guard force. Instead of being imprisoned or exiled, Toph finds herself being given audience with the King of Omashu.]

Bumi: Well, well, well. It seems I have finally met the troublemaker who has been causing such chaos with my rail systems.

Toph:…

Bumi: I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your earthbending abilities. You remind me of myself when I was a lad.

Toph: Get to the point.

Bumi: I see great potential in you, Toph Beifong. I want you inherit my title once I am no longer fit to rule.

Toph: Wait what the fuck

out-there-on-the-maroon

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense.

gallusrostromegalus

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

definitelynotaminion

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

aromantic-angel

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

catflowerqueen

Her first act as ruler is to ban herself from Omashu’s transportation system, thus fulfilling one of her life goals.

carolofthebell

But then she ignores her ban and continues to use the transport system forcing her guard to chase her and print wanted posters declaring her a fugitive.

Fortunately the clerks served under King Bumi the First and are well aquatinted with explaining chaos to the confused citizenry of Omashu. Without missing a beat they print the posters in 2 parts.

The first (read this aloud) part is a fairly standard Wanted poster explaining that King Bumi II Toph the Blind Melon Bandit Lord is Banned from the Omashu Transport system for crimes etc….

The second part (do not read this aloud) explains not to be concerned; if you see the King at one of the stations just shout “There she is!” The guards will chase her and you are free to go about your day. The King thanks you for participating in this guard training drill.

#atla

theraptorcage

Harris's Hawk

kagaintheskywithdiamonds

tell harris I like his hawk

is-the-owl-vid-cute

If you liked Harris’s hawk, you might also like:

Cooper’s hawk

Swainson’s hawk

Harlan’s hawk

Krider’s hawk

Ridgway’s hawk

Frances’s sparrowhawk

And, as a treat, Steller’s sea eagle

wolvesandhoundshowltogether

uterus: Guurl, you're ❌NOT❌ pregnant🎉💃

me hunched over in agony: This... could have been... an email

hometoursandotherstuff

It’s a staircase, but is it art? Orange Lucite stairs attached to the wall and illuminated from below. I don’t know, it looks like a treacherous situation to me.

via facebook

#i. what is that.

recalcitrantlycaffeinated

This is a callout post for the TSA agent who was incredibly thoughtful and concerned about me flying across the country all alone without an adult and wanted to make sure I knew how to go through security and felt safe and comfortable and explained that, as per the signs, children under 12 can keep their shoes on, and directed me specifically to another agent to help me so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed or afraid.

You were super sweet and kind, and the look on your face when I handed you my driver’s license and you realized I was 25 was priceless.

canadian-kazoo-god

ASJDKDNDJNSKKS

deathstars

me remembering that luke and rey didn’t even have a good relationship and we didn’t get to see them as a parental relationship or even as friends

artoodeetoa

cant believe they expected us to believe luke saw rey; a lonely kid from a desert planet dreaming about finding her parents, struggling with her identity, and dealing with the weight and pressure of bringing back the jedi…. and he didnt want to help her. not only that, they also made them argue the whole time. SICK

deathstars

the real luke skywalker would meet rey and be like oh i know you. i’m your dad now. i can teach you three things: how to Force, how to make the perfect cup of hot chocolate, and how to destroy fascists. let’s go do barrel-rolls in x-wings

softieskywalker

the way the real luke skywalker would have taken a single glance at that feral desert girl and been like. "my child now." come here girl I'll teach you how to build moisture vaporators so you never have to exploit yourself for water. yes this is more important than jedi training. yes we can cover that later. oh you want to fight kyle? oh you're struggling with the idea that he might still have a soul? ok learn from my mistakes and don't lose a hand in a fight you can't win, but also did i tell you about the time i beat my dad's ass so hard he bounced back to the light side? funny story actually,

all of this in the 10 minutes after she gives him anakin's lightsaber

deathstars

Rey: i was abandoned by my family on a backwater desert planet and waited for them for most of my life before a droid and the man who would become my best friend showed up and i chose to leave everything i knew behind in order to help save them and help the rebellion. i am very strong with the force and want to learn in order to protect the ones i love but my own capacity for darkness scares me. i need help understanding who i am and what my power means

Luke:

softieskywalker

the force: here, have an apprentice who's a metaphorical narrative mirror for you. she needs guidance and a mentor figure.

luke: oh you mean my new daughter

the force: what

deathstars

Rey: here dad meet my friends

Luke, meeting orphan mechanic rebel rose tico, pilot with a flair for drama poe dameron, and man who chose goodness in the face of overwhelming evil and is powerful in the force finn: oh you mean all my new kids

softieskywalker

luke, talking to the force ghosts of the jedi council: so my first apprentice grogu has a mandalorian dad right? and he told me about how he rescued him and adopted him and how that's custom for mandalorians, right? to adopt the children they rescue. so THEN i got hit with a tax bill for religious organizations and i thought you know what doesn't get taxed? children. like when you have a child. you're not paying the government for having a child. SO i thought you know what i ain't payin the government shit-

force ghost obi-wan: but isn't leia the chancellor?

luke: EXACTLY imagine paying taxes to your sister!!! i'd rather die. anyway that's how i ended up with 15 children. they're all skywalkers.

yoda: force-sensitive, some of them are not.

luke: yes. your point?

inky-starlight

@softieskywalker you can’t just leave absolute gold in the tags

#star wars

foodffs

14 Summery Drinks to Sip and Savor

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

#foodstuffs

locusimperium

swan-archive

locusimperium:

A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic.

Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day.

Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.

Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy. Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour.

Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick. Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.

Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.

brawltogethernow

So I tried this recipe.

And it is GREAT.

It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.

davetheshady

Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt

mxxnlit-witch

I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Let’s see how long they last with six people in the house!

dduane

Noting for later (as we need more butter for this, and probably won’t do a grocery shopping till the weekend).

amyamychan

The OP version of this has become my go-to cookie for basically all things and I have a whole cohort of friends and colleagues who would murder each other to get them. Haven’t tried any add ons yet, since the base recipe is SO GOOD.

#foodstuffs