Eirby

going woman mode she/her

[larval-tear]

do not, my friends, become addicted to touching. it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

[charl0ttan]

it will take hold of me?🥺👉👈

[swagvo1d]

doomed

[nick-nonya]

[foggy-heads]

Delivering for the wolf woman

illustrated a piece of a dream i head tonight about turning into a werewolf, from the perspective of a guy who brought me food

he probably saw me run on all fours through the streets a night after

[nepaklusti]

Been on a bit of a dark souls kick lately

[superchat]

sometimes i think abt that one art of that cocky guy at school who gets asked who he thinks is the prettiest in class and hes like "haha, me of course!" and everyone laughs and then the next panel shes alone in her room all dolled up kissing her reflection in the mirror repeatedly saying "youre so cute youre so cute"

[superchat]

if anyone can help me find it pls do, i actually think the dialogue was more like

"who do you like?"

"myself of course!"

"haha omg dude!"

*cuts to her room later, kissing the mirror*

"i love you i love you i love you"

[superchat]

[hidanvevo-blog]

we should do something cute like fuck in a public bathroom

[tgirl-gaming-thoughts]

DIYHRT.market is back as valerie.vg

[mangonetics]

reaching platinum 3 has my head in the clouds thinking up absurd fantasies like "I am capable of learning and improving at new skills" and "I am not fundamentally broken and doomed as a person"

[mangonetics]

I NEED elf pussy to be humbled or I am going to die in real life

[mangonetics]

Reaching diamond has me thinking much more nuanced and measured thoughts like "I am the sword of God" and "a river of blood will spill from all who defy me"

[mangonetics]

by the time I reach vanquisher the only way I'll be able to feel anything is if I straight up kill a real living person

[albva]

i drew it

[bogleech]

Does tumblr know about that Papa Johns sauce bottle pissing everyone off on all the other social media?

Its for a good reason but it's kind of also undeniably funny. It really looks like that.

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[communist-hatsunemiku]

The nurse doing my laser was like "you're doing really good, im impressed" and yk that shit went straight to my big fat head. why yes I am extremely good at sitting still while you torture me with laser beams, thank you

[mollyjames]

I am mostly a sub. However, one time I got to punch a girl in the stomach hard enough she collapsed on the floor with a shudder and mumbled an exultant "thank you", and let me tell you that felt fantastic

[mollyjames]

I mean there's not much more to it to be honest. Although it did take me several tries. I have weak noodle arms to begin with and this was before I started working out regularly. So I had to punch her multiple times to get a reaction out of her. It wasn't until I was fully comfortable putting some real force into it that she buckled. Really effective stress release

[mollyjames]

Because she begged me to. Obviously.

[mollyjames]

[prokopetz]

Predictions for Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro's management in the coming years:

Uma Musume style horsegirls introduced to the Forgotten Realms; setting's lore revised so that they've always been there.

Advancement rules now stipulate per-session XP bonus based on lifetime D&D Beyond purchase history.

Compendium of exclusive feat trees for specific gender and sexual identities. Bisexuality receives no feats of its own, being mechanically implemented as "half gay"; the resulting synergies are disgusting.

Editorial error in revised Dungeon Master's Guide accidentally refers to Dungeon Masters as Hasbro's employees.

"Noble savage" coding of barbarian class walked back, refocused on European folkloric touchstones such as the Ulster Cycle; all barbarian characters become Irish stereotypes.

AI-based DM service trained exclusively on work of Ed Greenwood launched; withdrawn a week later citing "guiderail issues".

Expanded discussion of navigating player expectations frames "not showing up at all" as a valid playstyle.

Dragon-blooded sorcerer subclass revised to state that one of the character's ancestors was "very good friends" with a dragon.

[drunkenlemur]

Didn't that last one actually get implemented into canon?

[prokopetz]

Hasbro has indeed spent the last several years pushing back against dragonfucking jokes so hard that they've gone as far as to revise some of the setting lore to imply that dragons don't even fuck each other, but they haven't yet had the guts to pull the trigger on taking the option of literal dragon ancestry off the table for sorcerers.

(The 5.5E writeup for dragon-blooded sorcerers does list "making a bargain" with a dragon above the actual-ancestry option, though, which is funny as hell. Yeah, I'll bet it was a mutually beneficial exchange!)

[drunkenlemur]

Another day being an Elder Red Dragon. Adventurers keep asking if they can fuck me. Buddy, they won't even let me fuck a dragon.

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[zigdirty]

We're not leaving this gem to languish in the comments:

[dragongirlsweetie]

the problem with fantasyposting on here is the amount of people who try to "um actually" you on the basis that your post doesn't comply with the rules/mechanics/worldbuilding of dungeons and dragons

[thecreaturecodex]

A fair number of these are also wrong about the rules/mechanics/worldbuilding of Dungeons and Dragons