Little King Trashmouth

Lee/Human/31/Memes,fandom,human rights,sparkles and darkles            

[nudityandnerdery]

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

[daily-spooky]

[beggars-opera]

[skippyisntfunny]

[seven-oh-four]

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

[seven-oh-four]

i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like "and then the hero shoots the villain while they're looking around!! XD" THAT'S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT'S THE ENTIRE JOKE.

[keiachi-chan]

There's a Pukicho post like this I need to find it

Edit: found it

[seven-oh-four]

maybe... they DIDN'T miss part of the post...! (starts frantically looking around)

[omorinintendoswitchedition]

(i shoot you while youre looking around)

[seven-oh-four]

and then while i'm frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD

[longshrimp]

Omg you missed part of the post

[seven-oh-four]

did i? 😏

[longshrimp]

(frantically looks around)

[seven-oh-four]

(i raise my gun to shoot you while you're distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)

[sandmandaddy69]

[sandmandaddy69]

[callmebliss]

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

[callmebliss]

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

[breelandwalker]

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

[traegorn]

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

[breelandwalker]

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

[dandelion-witch]

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

[breelandwalker]

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

[tribblesandtribulations]

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

[breelandwalker]

[moiracolleenodell]

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

[amastodonofconflict]

[phizgigz]

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

[olliums]

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

[aniseandspearmint]

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

[oft-goes-awry]

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

[somethinginterestingithink]

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

[oft-goes-awry]

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

[justgot1]

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

[strid3rofthen0rth]

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

[arianrhodsgarden]

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

[callmebliss]

Oh my ZOD I love that

[astrid4189]

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

[annleckie]

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

[penandinkprincess]

how is the traditional Festive Jiggly Log served in your family?

sliced completely before being brought to the table

a few slices for presentation and the rest left untouched until sliced as-needed

whole and unadulterated in its ribbed glory

i'm not american, and wtf are y'all doing over there

i'm not american, and i am seething with envy that i cannot also enjoy Cran Tube

Voting ended onNov 11, 2024

[luciferapollyon]

Got to be honest, I don't much like Turkey or Cranberry Sauce. So, my family has Thanksgiving Lasagna with salad and garlic bread.

[gothiccharmschool]

I covet this with all my soul.

[skippyisntfunny]

[empress-of-dark2005]

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[twomothsholdinghands]

[dirtygothboi]

[lilou-the-world-builder]

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[serenity-bitty]

reminds me of

the shellfish allergy NO NO FUCKING S HRIMP OR HE D IE post

[p1netre3s]

reminded me of this

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

“i love bible”

[mayday396]

Compilation of Parents not understanding their Kids at all.

[sarahseeandersen]

[c3rvida3]

Jesus has WHAT on his lips.