please don't be in love with someone else please don't have somebody waiting on you
its nearing midnight and im whispering these lyrics with all of my heart, tears falling down my face
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@emmydaisy
please don't be in love with someone else please don't have somebody waiting on you
its nearing midnight and im whispering these lyrics with all of my heart, tears falling down my face
THIS NIGHT IS SPARKLING, DON'T U LET IT GO, I'M WONDERSTRUCK, BLUSHING ALL THE WAY HOME, I'LL SPEND FOREVER, WONDERING IF YOU KNEW
I WAS ENCHANTED TO MEET YOUUUUUU
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
Discourses like this is one of the things I love about tumblr.
Peace and Land
Stiorra stalked out of the great hall, determined to leave a pair of handsome eyes attached to a particularly smug smile, well behind her. She thought she had come to know Sigtryggr, or at least gained a better understanding of the man. It appeared now as though she could not have been more wrong. They had only been in Eorforwic just past sundown and already she had been cast aside and forgotten–their time together on the road nothing more than a memory. In favor of what? Peace and land, in the form of duty and sovereignty. She felt him step away from her, and watched him order others. All kings were the same, be them Christian or Dane.
Read More Here
My favourite love story starts from "Sigtryggr is gentle" ends at "Will you come find me?"
💔😭
When Sigtryggr said to Stiorra:
"Will you come find me."
That's it that's the post.
I will wait for you in the halls of our ancestors. Will you find me?
Of The Same Stone - Masterlist
Summary:
"You will tell me your story." He whispered into her ear.
Because if there was one thing he knew in his chaotic life, it was the need to know her past. For they were both similar and different. Molded by the world of both Saxon and Dane. Refined by the fires of betrayal and vengeance. While he wielded a sword, sworn an oath to a king to bring about his dream, she lived quietly in the background. Yet there was something that kept drawing him back to her, even more than his curiosity….and he knew she felt it too.
She smirked as she drew away from him. "If you say so, my lord."
*****
Warnings: canon-typical violence, swearing, brief mention of implied rape,
*****
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
*****
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Sneak Peek #2 with banner
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5x05 The Last Kingdom
I am not okay
Like I am genuinely lost for words
No one I know irl watches so instead I screech into the void
It was really just Lady Æthelflæd keeping the peace between Saxon and Dane. Once she died, the men went to war because both Edward and Sigtryggr are foolish Kings who lack communication skills and are too easily pitted against each other.
Uhtred and Æthelfæd should have married and ruled Mercia as Lord and Lady, thus showing unity between Saxon and Dane for generations.
Stiorra: "They will cheer for you in Valhalla and I will sing for you here on earth"
Sigtryggr: "I will wait for you in the halls of our ancestors. Will you looking for me?"
Stiorra: "Yes I will"
I have cried all my tears but this will always be unforgettable #StiorraxSigtryggr
Sihtric + wife guy
i’m right where you left me.
Literally the best part about The Last Kingdom is just how Uhtred, the Saxon kidnapped and raised by Vikings, collects the most insane members for his posse that he could possibly scrounge up on the british isles for his time period.
He's got a priest. A warrior nun. A scrappy viking who hates his dad. An Irish guy who left home under dubious circumstances. A runaway baby monk who is also the illegitimate son of Alfred the Great. Alfred the Great's daughter aka the Lady of Mercia. A Cornish witch that one time. A viking witch that other time. His viking foster sister. The best warrior in Wessex (RIP). Who will he adopt next? (The answer is the illegitimate grandson of Alfred the Great.)
Uhtred and Aethelflaed + 😌
reading book 7 of the Saxon Series after watching The Last Kingdom S4 is something.
uhtred: *pisses off the Danes*
uhtred: *pisses off the Christians*
uhtred: *pisses off æthelflæd*
uhtred: ...