Julia

she/her/hers | omnisexual | bookworm | music lover |

[endlessmidnights]

Not me ghosting my therapist…

[endlessmidnights]

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a real person because this can’t be all there is in life

[endlessmidnights]

Why try to say no, when nobody listens?

[endlessmidnights]

I am my biggest trigger

[endlessmidnights]

I feel so fake like I have manifested all my mental illnesses and they don’t actually exist

[endlessmidnights]

I’m scared of myself and that is the worst feeling

[endlessmidnights]

Life would be so much easier if someone murdered me, it’d save my family the pain of knowing that I never recovered

[endlessmidnights]

People who’ve been hurt say solitude is the answer because then nobody can hurt you again, but what if it’s me who hurt me

[endlessmidnights]

I don’t know what to say besides…

It’s fucking bad again.

[endlessmidnights]

When someone asks if you have a weak stomach

Me: I cut myself just to see the blood

[endlessmidnights]

When you find an old blade and it’s just like shit I am so triggered

[endlessmidnights]

All my blades are dull but I don’t have enough energy to get new ones…

[endlessmidnights]

I hope one day I just don’t wake up…

preferably tomorrow

[endlessmidnights]

Them: take a shower it’ll help you cope

Me: you’re right this is very helpful (while cvtting in the shower)

[endlessmidnights]

I don’t think I can do this anymore, I just want to die

[endlessmidnights]

People asking why I’m quieter than normal, but truthfully my mind has never been louder

[endlessmidnights]

When you bear the pain of living you are called a warrior, a fighter, they say you are so brave, but when you can no longer fight you’re a coward who took the easy way out, have they ever thought that it might’ve been the only way out, that you could no longer fight, bc for every battle you won there were 10 more to fight,