Esmeralda Ka

Hi I'm Esmeralda! This is a personnal blog so don't expect this to be one subjet only. I moslty post about video games and animals. I have a cat, and I used to have pet rats. I love video games (especially LoZ and Compulsion Games) and art, so it's moslty that. But it's also just whatever I feel like. LGBTQ+ friendly, I myself am queer. I'm also Autistic and way more anxious than I thought. I'm fully against Donald Dump and his shitshow circus. I'm also not a US citizen. Oh, and fuck AI too.

[esmeraldaka]

I'm trying very hard to not rebound from Verso (my dog, see previous posts) by getting a cute pet snake.

No worries, I'm not acting on it yet. I wan't to make sure that's what I want and that I can give it it's best life.

I'm looking in small ones like the Western Hognose or a Corn Snake.

One thing my experience with Verso thaught me is that I can't have a high maintenance pet. I'm used to cats, and I've had rats (bit more high maintenance than a cat) and a bearded dragon (low maintenance) in the past.

From my current understanding, beginner snakes are also on the low maintenance side.

[esmeraldaka]

Well, how to learn you're in a worst mental space than you thought (vent posting)

How about getting a puppy, that, so far, is really sweet and easy, but constently you're crying cause you don't have the energy and you anxiety is going crazy. Life was trying subtlety to tell me I wasn't doing well, but it's just now that I realise how bad it got.

I've had him for 2 days, and for 2 days I've cried and barely eaten. Don't worry I do take care of him. But rn... it's a lot.

And I also realise that I'm not well accompanied in this by professionals so far. I'm lucky the breeder have the patience of a saint and cares enough about the dog to help via texto.

And I'm lucky that my sister-in-law unfortunatly went throught exacly that before. And I'm lucky to be on medical leave from work.

I just lack people close to me, that can come physically help.

I love my boy, but I fell like I shouldn't have him. That we are both going to ruin the other's life, but it's just my anxiety, it's not his fault. But I know we need time, especially me.

Puppy pic for those who read this all. Sorry it's a big vent post.

[esmeraldaka]

Well, case closed I guess: the breeder is coming to pick him up tomorrow morning.

While it makes me extremely sad, I do feel relieved. I'm not made for that level of energy. Insight is 20/20, but maybe it wasn't good to "give" (he wasn't free) a puppy to someone with anxiety and chronic fatigue...

I wasn't supported enough. Which is weird in retrospect since it's an organisation that knows that their customers are getting and training the dog for helping with mental issues. Like, you know that the people that you get are in need of help, why so little support?

Anyway, bad and sad experience. But I think the ending is necessary. It'a better for Verso anyway while he doesn't really know me anyway. It's hurting me a lot, but he'll be fine.

He'll always be in my heart. And probably my sad and cringe inducing 3am thoughts.

[esmeraldaka]

A few days have passed. My house is almost back to normal.

I'm still sad, tired, mourning, but confortable.

Formally Verso also have a new family already. I am really happy that he gets the love and space that he deserves.

Still not sure yet what I'll turn too, but I have time to figure it out.

Also almost all the gear I had prepared for him got rehomed to my sister-in-law's dog. So I'm happy to at least be able to make them happy.

Still keeping him in my heart.

[esmeraldaka]

Well, how to learn you're in a worst mental space than you thought (vent posting)

How about getting a puppy, that, so far, is really sweet and easy, but constently you're crying cause you don't have the energy and you anxiety is going crazy. Life was trying subtlety to tell me I wasn't doing well, but it's just now that I realise how bad it got.

I've had him for 2 days, and for 2 days I've cried and barely eaten. Don't worry I do take care of him. But rn... it's a lot.

And I also realise that I'm not well accompanied in this by professionals so far. I'm lucky the breeder have the patience of a saint and cares enough about the dog to help via texto.

And I'm lucky that my sister-in-law unfortunatly went throught exacly that before. And I'm lucky to be on medical leave from work.

I just lack people close to me, that can come physically help.

I love my boy, but I fell like I shouldn't have him. That we are both going to ruin the other's life, but it's just my anxiety, it's not his fault. But I know we need time, especially me.

Puppy pic for those who read this all. Sorry it's a big vent post.

[esmeraldaka]

Well, case closed I guess: the breeder is coming to pick him up tomorrow morning.

While it makes me extremely sad, I do feel relieved. I'm not made for that level of energy. Insight is 20/20, but maybe it wasn't good to "give" (he wasn't free) a puppy to someone with anxiety and chronic fatigue...

I wasn't supported enough. Which is weird in retrospect since it's an organisation that knows that their customers are getting and training the dog for helping with mental issues. Like, you know that the people that you get are in need of help, why so little support?

Anyway, bad and sad experience. But I think the ending is necessary. It'a better for Verso anyway while he doesn't really know me anyway. It's hurting me a lot, but he'll be fine.

He'll always be in my heart. And probably my sad and cringe inducing 3am thoughts.

[esmeraldaka]

Well, how to learn you're in a worst mental space than you thought (vent posting)

How about getting a puppy, that, so far, is really sweet and easy, but constently you're crying cause you don't have the energy and you anxiety is going crazy. Life was trying subtlety to tell me I wasn't doing well, but it's just now that I realise how bad it got.

I've had him for 2 days, and for 2 days I've cried and barely eaten. Don't worry I do take care of him. But rn... it's a lot.

And I also realise that I'm not well accompanied in this by professionals so far. I'm lucky the breeder have the patience of a saint and cares enough about the dog to help via texto.

And I'm lucky that my sister-in-law unfortunatly went throught exacly that before. And I'm lucky to be on medical leave from work.

I just lack people close to me, that can come physically help.

I love my boy, but I fell like I shouldn't have him. That we are both going to ruin the other's life, but it's just my anxiety, it's not his fault. But I know we need time, especially me.

Puppy pic for those who read this all. Sorry it's a big vent post.

[esmeraldaka]

He's not home with me yet, but I've chosen my precious little Verso <3

[esmeraldaka]

In less than 2 months, I'll be starting my dog mom era lol.

I don't know which one will be mine yet, but it one of the 5 male pups!

[esmeraldaka]

[esmeraldaka]

Ok, not gonna spoil the game (RE Requiem), but

(Spoiler for a monster from the trailers)

Ok that game is scary:

Not even one hour in, I'm already stalked by the love child creature of a Dead Hand & Huggin' Molly

Tell me I'm wrong xD

(No hate or shade to Huggin' Molly thought: I love her so much <3)

[esmeraldaka]

Happy Zelda's 40th anniversary!!

[esmeraldaka]

[esmeraldaka]

[esmeraldaka]

FYI

[rederiswrites]

History will remember you today, Minnesota. Well done.

[leebrontide]

IN NEGATIVE TWENTY DEGREES!!!!!

Please spread this around. Don't let ANYONE lie and say my community is anything but ASTONISHINGLY UNITED in rejection of ICE's behavior. This crosses generations, race lines, party lines, class lines. THAT is how bad ICE is. THAT is how bad we want them gone.

THAT is how loudly we are DEMANDING they leave!

Do you understand what a crowd like this means in a small city like Minneapolis??? In weather that hurts to breathe???

Can you imagine what that takes?

[ralfmaximus]

Bigger turnout than his inauguration!

[flock-of-cassowaries]

For readers outside the US: Negative twenty in American degrees is -29 Celsius.

I grew up in Canada, and when it was -25 C or below, they wouldn’t let us go outside for recess at school.

Like, everyone had boots and ski mittens and snowpants and winter coats, but still - indoor recess on those days. Cause the risk of frostbite was bad enough to justify everyone spending their lunch break supervising a classroom full of rowdy children.

That kind of cold is viscerally hostile to the human body. Your instincts will scream at you to GO INSIDE. It’s an environment that’s fundamentally physiologically unsafe, and you can feel that.

In the context of that weather, this turnout is even more compelling.

[tiktaalic]

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

[cosmonautroger]

[esthermika]

very polite. 10/10

[pride-knightess]

One incredibly good girl

[abz-j-harding]

this crab has better table manners than some of the people I served when I was a waitress at the pub.

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

[esmeraldaka]

Omg they're adorable

[april]

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.

[esmeraldaka]

Story of my life

[rookinthecrownest]

the way we make motherhood out to be boring in storytelling is crazy considering the fact that a mother’s love for her dead child being so deep it causes the world to break on its hinges is the central driving force of not one but two incredible games this year

shoutout to Bunny from South of Midnight and Aline from E33!