Cenvallian Tales

Tales from Other Worlds

[abandonedography]

Old abandoned grocery store repurposed as a library

[certifiedlibraryposts]

Certified Library Post

[azzandra]

"Hey, we need to renovate this grocery store into a library."

"Okay, I got you."

*Removes the B from the BREAD sign*

"Done"

[orphetoon]

the sweet and humble sudoku: here’s some numbers to get you started :) please enjoy my puzzle <3

the nefarious minesweeper: why don’t you just Guess. fucking Guess.

[monstersovka]

✷ 🍂 ✷

[targetedknowledge]

[frankiesbullshit]

someone tell OP i did it, i spent about 3 hours on it

[monstersovka]

✶ ✷ ✶

[myfairynuffstuff]

Erika Toliusis (b.1969) - Pacific Angel. 2022. Oil with palette knife on canvas.

[sunshinetheinspiration]

@teaboot

[teaboot]

Painted with a FUCKING PALETTE KNIFE?

[urgetocreate]

Aimee Erickson (American), Clear Glass and Water, 2026, Oil on panel

[ryan-sometimes]

LMAOOOO

[furnishedfurnace]

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[mentalhealthnut]

1) My dad was also like this with me. Best example - reading a manual for a washing machine to me as an infant. Didn't turn into a Deals Warlock, but I did become a writer, so make of that what you will.

2) If you are the type of person who counts how many questions your child asks you in a day, and didn't give up after like ten of 'em, *and* potentially did so more than once (you said she "averages" at 892, meaning you might have gotten your data from at least two days)... then I think she is Like That because of both sides of her family, actually

[kaity--did]

[skoenstodisart]

Played around with some gouache

[bigfatbitchdotcom]

Endlessly diabolical how you can't say words like rape and suicide uncensored without either being criticised by idiots or punished by conglomerates.

[bigfatbitchdotcom]

It's not r*pe, it's rape. It's not su*cide, it's suicide. Not unalive, dead. The backbone needs to be reintroduced en masse because softening the blow of these concepts with advertising language does absolutely nothing but allow people unaffected by them to feel not even a sting of what they can do, prompting inaction.

[bigfatbitchdotcom]

And it's been proven that on certain websites, you don't even face a repercussion for using the words as they are. People just started censoring themselves because they feared the potential lack of views and likes and followers which is so nasty itself.

[its-the-blob]

I attended an anti-suicide seminar in college. One of the big takeaways from it was that stigmatizing suicide increases the rate of suicide, because people who are feeling suicidal feel like they can't ask for help. Every time I see babytalk garbage like 'unalive', I think of that.

[ralfmaximus]

Use the real words. Words have power, and they matter.

[crimsonservbot]

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

[stoopkidlisteningtocsh]

Was feeling Emotions than was quickly hit by very different ones upon opening the comments

[caleod]

23-7-26

[cryptonature]

Sunday Seeds #8

Wonder

I have vultures on the brain. I taught a writing workshop yesterday and one of the attendees told me he first discovered my work though my poem “Clergy,” which is about turkey vultures. I’ll include the poem in the next section. Beyond being smart and social (I’ve met a few and this reputation proved true), they serve their ecosystem communities in numerous ways. I think their role as “purifiers” is particularly poetic. Vultures have specialized immunity to diseases lurking in carrion, so their simple act of feeding removes dangerous pathogens from the environment.

Whimsy

Thinking about words and vultures side-by-side, I’m reminded of how much I love the scientific name for turkey vultures. It’s Cathartes aura, which means “purifying breeze.” This is a lovely bit of found whimsy and I would like to hunt for more examples of poetic scientific names. If you know any, please share!

As promised, here’s the poem I mentioned above.

Clergy

Vultures are holy creatures. Tending the dead. Bowing low. Bared head. Whispers to cold flesh, “Your old name is not your king. I rename you ‘Everything.’”

Writing Prompt

Imagine a human filling in for the role of a plant or animal. What would you call that person’s job? How much work and technology would be needed to approximate the ecological benefits of your chosen organism? Would the human’s attempt to fill that role be possible or efficient?

[Support via Substack/Patreon for bonus poem and to have these delivered to your email weekly.]

[Here’s an old pic of an important sign Leslie and I discovered on a road trip to Florida]

[bedes-silliest-soldier]

Every BBC Historical Farm Series:

Alex, cuddling a lamb: “this is what farming is all about, you need to be connected to the land, it can be hard work but it’s worth it, it was how we lived for thousands of years…

Peter, knee deep in coal: “this is the orphan mangling machine — I need to be very careful as I shovel coal into it for the next 15 hours, but orphan mangling was such an important part of the British economy back then”

Ruth, vibrating with excitement: “women’s labor went unacknowledged but it was absolutely essential to running every household and business and nothing would have been able to run without it. Today we’re going to make strawberry jam, it’s going to be quite nice :) and it made up 2/3s of the actual monetary income of households in this period, while farming was for subsistence”

Professor Ronald Hutton, materializing out of thin air: “it’s spring, which means in this part of England — East Middle Shirelandiawalhamton — we have to tie sausages to our fingers and dance through the streets singing ‘tra-lee-la-lee-lay!’ Historically, this practice was accompanied by heavy drinking, and though it was banned by the Puritans, it never really went away.”

[regal-bones]

Holy ground

[regal-bones]

guys I went back to recreate this and. It’s gone.

Pour one out for butt dyke house

[homunculus-argument]

Day 202/365 of listing something good I saw today:

A small kid at the gocery store was clearly sick of being in the stroller and also Fucking Done with being in the grocery store, and was about to throw a fit at the cashier line before spotting me. One of the small perks of having multiple facial piercings and wearing a funky hat is that every once in a while small children will stop whatever they were doing and stare at you like the man-made horror beyond their comprehension that you righteously are.

So taking the opportunity to turn the situation around, I smiled to the kid, who smiled back, and started waving to me, so I had to wave back. The parents, not saying a word, just smiled as well, evidently also glad that this situation turned into "kid saw a funny-looking stranger and is quietly having fun" kind, instead of the "kid is shrieking because fuck being in the grocery store, ensuing that everyone is having a bad time" kind of situation.

Sometimes all you gotta do is to be a friendly freak in the grocery store.