[bynine]

starter babies

[prokopetz]

Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.

[burnt-kloverfield]

How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?

[prokopetz]

Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I hope it’s been pier reviewed

[anphivenas]

Its impossible to talk to this fucking guy

[haisfin]

here is my oc chess lesbian situationship slop for people with the same brain damage i got

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[tarragonthedragon]

this is exactly how non kinsters sound when they jump into kink discussions to say "yeah! it's fine as long as you're all consenting adults!"

[cheerio-charcuterie-board]

How it feels to take a shower

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#what the fuck#this one was actually really very short why is it still like that what

The shorter it is, the more concentrated the what the fuck can be.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can help you with your math homework because the fantasy world's magic system was based on calculus and I was a gifted mage, stop nitpicking.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this world's magic system is also based in calculus

[jabberding0]

Yuantong Link Chain

[busket]

something very intimate about how slow this machine is moving. feels tender and loving

[junglejim4322]

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

[dreamstars]

[soup-mother]

When racecars are all bundled up into a huge group while moving it gives me the same feeling as seeing lots of salmon or eels travelling up/downstream.

[soup-mother]

Racecars are a kind of fish 🐟

[sdx77]

[celtib]

a ‘hot minute’ can be both a very short period of time, and a very long one. however, a hot minute in the past (“It's been a hot minute since I've seen you!”) is most often a long duration, while a hot minute in the future (“I'll be with you in a hot minute!”) is most often a short duration. this suggests some very strange things about the temperature of time.

[gingik]

[were--ralph]

im not a furry but recently ive been thinking about what if there was a global outbreak of a virus that transforms you into your fursona? so i made one just in case. not because im a furry (im not) but just ouf of safety if i need one in a pinch. he's very cute and fluffy btw

No yeah that makes sense like you always have to be prepared

[romanceyourdemons]

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

[queerliblib]

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

[meeliesaysno]

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

[ksfoxwald]

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3