It's been a hot minute since I made a good post.

girl constructed from red flags and warning labels • she (as in ships), they (explicitly plural) • pronounced /ˈkɛlti/ • mid-30s • horny on main 🔞 • ⚧ ⚢ • fundamentally incapable of using tags correctly

[nasturbate]

“nice blog”

thank you im really good at clicking reblog

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you are really good at clicking reblog

[winonaparadise]

Stopped dressing as femme and instead kind of like a douchebag and now women are throwing it at me

[winonaparadise]

Women want one thing and its Guile from street fighter

[tomshivbaby]

absolutely incomprehensible, beautiful

[communist-hatsunemiku]

Hara_ID_21

[undeadwives]

[setulose]

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

[setulose]

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

[setulose]

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

[sweetfears]

Too funny to leave in comments @inkskinned

[evilwizard]

warrior who came to me for advice: i just don’t know if i should listen to the telepathic trees, who say i should save the forest, or my adopted wolf mother, who says i should cut it down to build my city. that’s why i came to you… should i go with Psi Ents or Dog Ma?

me: your existence feels fairly contrived

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I don't remember telepathic trees being part of the creation of Rome

[varsiathederg]

I think they all got cut down to build the city

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We built this city

We built this city

We build this city with Old Ent Bones

[3000s]

they hate each other.

[barin-mclegg]

hey bestie you forgot the poll

[3000s]

oh sorry

would you kill and eat these animals?

yes

no

Voting ended onOct 3, 2024

[barin-mclegg]

I was talking to prev, asshole. The fucking critter-creature-beast poll blog? That person? Don't be a fucking dickhead.

[3000s]

sorry for being silly on my post it wont happen again

[3000s]

would you kill and eat @barin-mclegg?

yes

no

Voting ended onOct 9, 2024

[skoople]

another heavy handed symbolism moment: my mom has a potted sunflower in the kitchen. because it is a sunflower, it keeps turning towards the light from the window. my mother keeps rotating it so it faces inward because she wants "to see its beautiful petals and have it really brighten up the space!" . the sunflower is visibly wilting .

[imperialinquisition]

are you going to tell her or

[skoople]

her masters degree is in biology

[ego-radio]

I feel so light. This is the first time I feel so happy during battle. I'm not afraid of anything any more. Because I'm not alone any more.

[technicoloryuri]

I love being in IT

[smorzinc]

are you having a fun International Bluescreen Day

[technicoloryuri]

I've recovered a letter from the front lines, it reads

"dear my beloved girl wife,

The hours are long and strenuous, and the bathrooms needlessly gendered. I'm being hailed as a hero for my work in the trenches, but I am merely a simple soldier. They shower us with praise and iced coffee, but the line barely moves in our favor. Bit locker holds us back more than any null file.

I fear I will have to work over time as the laptops continue to pile.

Wait for your darling my love

-a simple IT worker"

[technicoloryuri]

Can this get more notes please it's the only thing keeping me going

[copperbadge]

I'm hearing this with Ken Burns documentary banjos in the background, but played on a synth.

[rpepperpotshipssciencebros]

Happy International Bluescreen Day!

[copperdaisy]

kpop demon hunters + text posts rumi edition

[copperdaisy]

kpop demon hunters + text posts rumi edition

[homunculus-argument]

your zucchini post sent me back over a decade ago to when i visited finland for the first time and stayed at my partners parents house. their garden was full of the most humungous zucchini i'd ever laid eyes on. my partner came up to me with this giant green sponge in her arms and said "look! it's the size of my dick!"; i remember distinctly being very impressed in that moment. however, what i did not know at the time was that having this bountiful harvest of zucchini meant that we would be eating nothing but zucchini based dishes for the next 7 weeks because there was no space to store it (why no storage, that's a whole other story). after about a week, everyone else in the family left to go to the lake for the rest of the summer and so it was up to my partner and i to eat zucchini day in, day out. it started out novel and fun really: zucchini on toast, stuffed zucchini with meat and mushrooms, zucchini casserole, zucchini and cheese soup! but as time went on, it got weirder and weirder, zucchini with jam on it, then the zucchini itself became marmalade, zucchini baked into a cake, zucchini stuffed with zucchini, zucchini bread, zucchini ice cream, and still more and more zucchini still needed to be consumed before they overippened and spoiled. and non of the neighbours wanted any of it because they too had too much zucchini of their own. needless to say, it was a very visceral experience that affected me in relation to zucchinis for many years afterwards. anyway, i hope the ones you got from your mother-in-law are tasty and you make something delicious with them <3

That's the funny part: I know this. We've been through this before.

Nobody in my boyfriend's family is particularly willing to eat zucchini. They are sick of it to the point of years of build-up. She playfully complains about how the youngest one won't try some of her baked goods out of an alledged fear that there might be zucchini hidden in there. And yet, she keeps planting zucchini. She's delighted to be able to hand them over to me. I am not yet sick of zucchini so I don't mind it just yet.

She also fucking loves foraging for mushrooms, and gets territorial over good spots just like any other finn would. As soon as they're poking out of the ground at the end of the summer she's grabbing the dogs and her daughter and is out of the house getting them, ticks bears and tourists be damned. She can't eat them herself due to allergies, and half of the family can't digest them either, and the other half just doesn't like the texture. She gives them off to friends and family and is delighted to be able to hand them over to me.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I'm not complaining. This is the opposite of a problem. Nonetheless I am baffled by it. Rain or shine, in sickness and in health, no matter how inconvenient it would be, she keeps doing this. Purely for the love of the game.

[sinsinewave]

ok is zucchini-related issues like a common theme in Finland, because it was slightly one in my family too; i fucking hate zucchini, my mother seemingly loves it, and like, she kept fucking making foods with zucchini at least she had enough sense to not have the fucking zucchini as like a load-bearing component so i could just avoid eating it but still

[homunculus-argument]

My favourite way of zucchini consumption is lemon-zucchini jam on pancakes. I just bought butter and eggs to bake a cake and also make courgette balls with the zucchini I just got. This is the level of get-rid-of-all-this-zucchini we are working on.

[the-asistants-reblogs]

This is fascinating! USAmarican here, we occasionally get massive bumper crops of zucchini (Midwest US) when the weather is cooler, and we largely just make them into casseroles. I didn’t know you could put them into bread or make marmalade with them! Next bumper crop I’ll have to put this new knowledge to use!

[homunculus-argument]

I have just made (or to be more exact, am currently making) an unreasonable amount of zucchini chocolate cake. The amount is unreasonable because first of all there is no such thing as a reasonable amount of zucchini in a chocolate cake, and second of all the recipe said 5 decilitres of grated zucchini, and the chunk I cut off the giant zucc made 8 decilitres of it. So I decided to just adjust the whole recipe to be 1,6 times bigger. It'll be in the oven for about an hour yet and until then we'll have no idea how badly I fucked up.

[cugzarui]

why would you say five decilitres instead of half a liter

[homunculus-argument]

Because litres wouold be an unhinged way to measure things like flour and sugar and things??

[cugzarui]

why do you not. measure in normal. cooking units. like cups. and spoons. or if youre feeling fancy. grams.

[homunculus-argument]

I'm adamantly anti-imperialism.

[vertigris-art]

Hot Summer Days 💦

[eurobeatbeetle]

[fivehoursofscreaming]

oh

[eurobeatbeetle]

bring out the rotating tiger

[fivehoursofscreaming]

so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck