Claire Keane
oozey mess
⁂
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi
Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle
Cosmic Funnies
Kaledo Art
Discoholic 🪩
cherry valley forever
tumblr dot com
$LAYYYTER
#extradirty
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
roma★
titsay
Not today Justin
seen from Germany
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Algeria
seen from Türkiye
seen from Chile
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Oman
seen from India
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@eugolorp
jesus: if you literally do nothing else just please. be nice to people
american christians: so basically i should just be really mean to people. just like be super cunty for no reason and get really self-righteous about it. right jesus?
Fun Historical Newsie Names
Young Monix, Barney Peanuts, Seabutch, Jimmy the Goat, Slobbery Jack, Bag-of-Bones, One Lung Pete, Pug-Nose Pete (these may have been the same boy, in which case: unfortunate), Kid Biscuit, Canal Boat Joe, Jake the Oyster, Muggsy Magee, and my personal favorite: Young Waffles
tag yourself i’m young waffles
the Boosh fandom is safe from the new guidelines
Richard Ayoade refusing to ride a roller coaster moments before riding a roller coaster.
Albany Ledger, Missouri, June 17, 1898
Three most important innovations of this century:
1.
2.
3.
hot take:
Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.
Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.
Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards
& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards
#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)
further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.
omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards
by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.
Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards
@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror
these have been sitting on my computer and now all of you get to see it
there is no temptation greater on earth than that of museum gift shops
i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars
I’m sorry what
you heard me
#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW
@genericrevenge
OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?
kinda, yeah
@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed
That logo looks familiar.
WHAT
OH MY GOD
Alton Brown is a real life supervillain
someone tell me what the fuck is going on
John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon
I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™
This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.
TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.
AUDEINCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.
AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS
MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”
Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!
FRUITS BASKET. FIRST LOOK.
https://twitter.com/magazine_pash/status/1071699625701081088
you can really tell who’s been on this site for 6+ years this week
most of tumblr: OH GOD TUMBLR’S DYING!!!!
old users:
I need to go back to school and work out and get fit so i can stop hating myself and get a girlfriend and better my life and have a real job that pays good so i can have four cats. But my depression and i are still chillin in this bed for the 3rd year in a row.
One taught me love
One taught me patience
One taught me pain
I’ve been super busy this month because of inktober and school. But I was able to squeeze in some Noel drawings here and there! <3
