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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@existentialexistence
Tired of rolling dice on a table like a pleb? Here are some other ways to spice up your rolls;
-Use a dice tray. This'll stop your dice from going everywhere, very useful.
-Use a dice tower. This is a great way by removing most of the work.
-Dice cup. A cup is always fun and adds a rustic feeling.
-Put then in your mouth and spit them out. Nobody will want to steal your special dice.
In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.
I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.
This is funnier than anything I have ever said.
A very strange but important question for anyone still on this godforsaken website:
When you go to the store and buy grapes, do you take one out of the bag to taste test them?
Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs was an actual gem.
I need you all to understand this isn’t a shitpost, this is the ACTUAL DIALOGUE.
Found important lore on tiktok of all places
OWCA deadass said “yo Heinz we’re sending a platypus to kick your ass. his name is Perry xoxo”
I always assumed that it happened like this:
Perry: (crashes through window)
Doofenshmirz: A platypus?!
Perry: (puts on hat)
Doofenshmirz: A—platypus wearing a fedora?!
(Perry hands Doofenshmirtz a business card. Doofenshmirtz puts on his reading glasses.)
Doofenshmirz: (gasps) PERRY the Platypus!
I hate how in-character this is
Do you remember anything fun that you’ve made as a kid? I was really proud of this “camera” I made out of a tea box. I filled it with hand-drawn “photographs” and was very disappointed when people and objects wouldn’t reenact them accurately enough at my request.
This is the cutest damn thing I have ever seen
Unmute !
Unmute !
But seriously, please vote. Many states are not accepting ballots that arrive past November 3rd, and the postal service isn’t guaranteed to deliver on time now that it’s less than a week out. Here’s a fun article giving the lowdown on ballot deadlines! Whether it’s in person (with a mask!) or by absentee ballot, please make your voice heard! My website – My Instagram
You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........
now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020
is it too early or can we start screaming now
There’s actually a fair deal of overlap between cultural decades. So not only is it acceptable to start screaming now, we can keep screaming up to the mid 30′s.
I remember when this post was funny
octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.
I hate to disappoint the finest minds on tumblr but
Gallery of fake fans right here.
The presence of Squilliam Fancypants would suggest that “Squi-“ is simply a common prefix for octopus names, likely one with great cultural significance and meaning
his name is squilliam fancySON we are exposing TOO many fake fans tonight
squidward has only 6 tentacles. OCTOpuses have 8 (hence the prefix). the creator is a marine biologist, this isnt some rookie design mistake. literally anyone who has watched the show for 5 minutes would know this come on now yall….
you dont get to decide whether or not all the octopuses in the show’s lack of tentacles is or isnt a design choice when its already BEEN CONFIRMED BEFORE THAT HES AN OCTOPUS IN A MULTITUDE OF OFFICIAL MATERIALS. also, there are actual squids on the show:
Also where is everyone in the notes getting the idea that 8 tentacles=octopuses and 6 tentacles=squids. Squids don’t have 6 tentacles. Squids have 10 limbs, 2 of which are tentacles and 8 of which are legs that look like tentacles.
this started as an argument about squidward being an adult virgin
yeah but nobody is going to argue against that
how fucking strong is Zuko like why do you even bother with your bending when you could just wham bam snap Aang’s spine with a kick
In 1971, Richard Caputo was found incompetent to stand trial after he stabbed his girlfriend, Natalie Brown, to death. He was committed to a psychiatric hospital and while there, he reportedly started a relationship with one of the psychologists who had treated him, Judith Becker. Caputo was transferred to a minimum security psychiatric hospital and was eventually given day release due to good behavior.
In October 1974, Caputo went to the home of Judith and strangled her. He fled to San Francisco and laid low and kept out of trouble until 1975, when he met Barbara Ann Taylor and the two began to date. They only dated for a brief period before he beat her to death and fled to Mexico. While in Mexico, Caputo killed his fourth victim, Laura Gomez, whom he was sharing an apartment with. Over the next 20 years, Caputo managed to avoid apprehension and kept travelling back and forth from Mexico to USA.
During these 20 years, Caputo married a woman and started a family. He left his wife and re-married another woman, with whom he had more children with. He was featured on America’s Most Wanted, but eventually handed himself in due to guilt. He confessed to four murders but it is believed that he killed more. He died in October 1997.
what a deal.
And then your hip would break because their medical staff is garage and they don’t have the same regulations as over so no you’re back to square one you fucking tool
that is american propaganda used to justify their lack of a working healthcare system. it’s not true and even if it was what good would having slightly better healthcare do if it’s only accessible by the richest members of society?
You absolute fucking clown. Lmao
Damn. Spains healthcare sure isnt garage like they said
God Americans are so fucking brainwashed like seriously imagine thinking a first world country in Europe of all places is medically inferior, the patriot brain rot is strong
Americans only know this kind of stuff if they are among those being victimized by the American healthcare system.
stop saying white people don’t have their own culture this belongs to no one else
That “oh” at the end is the funniest thing I have ever seen. There is no other diplomatic way to respond.
Just an amazing UI
Gender: <entire source code of Quake (1996, Id Software)>
Installs Doom as my gender
max 10 megs guys, come on
Installs four copies of Doom as my gender
Fun fact! Water actually turns “blood red” when it is contaminated by sulfur creating sulfuric acid. And scientists have discovered that around the time of the plagues a volcano went off that disturbed Egypt’s environment. So the plagues are scientifically proven. The other parts of the plagues are explained by the sulfuric acid river making the animals leave the river and escaping into the human population.
WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THE PLAGUES WERE PROVEN
if anyone wants a full list heres how they happened:
basically they all stem from a massive eruption of a volcano on the island of santorini off the coast of greece. the ash then floated over to egypt which kickstarted the plagues
1) blood: the ash carried the mineral cinnabar, which has the capability of turning water red
2) frogs: the ash also had many toxic and acidic substances so naturally, all the frogs are gonna flee the river
3) lice: given what was going on insects would have burrowed into dead animals/peoples skin and laid eggs, which then hatched
4) beasts: everything is getting poisoned from the ash and toxins, causing animals to freak the fuck out/die
5) pestilence: toxins again
6) boils: the ash would have caused storms that carried acid rain which when it fell, would irritate peoples skin causing boils
7) hail: the storm again
8) locusts: again with the insects and the amount of dead bodies and such which attract more insects. a lotta insects basically.
9) darkness: the ash covered the sky, blocking out the sun
10) slaying of the first born: given that children’s bodies were found in higher numbers than others, some archeologists think they may have been sacrificed to stop all the destruction, but they aren’t 100% sure about that. this is just me but I would say another possibility is that babies/kids are a lot more susceptible to toxins and shit, so while an adult may have been fine or gotten a bit sick, it might have been very dangerous/deadly for kids or babies
the volcano would also attest for the parting of the sea weirdly enough. the red sea was in fact the ‘reed’ sea, and was very shallow, probably waist deep or so. given the amount of shit dumped into the ocean from the volcano, this wouldve caused a tsunami to head towards egypt. the water would get sucked out from the reed sea right before the tsunami hit, letting people pass it easily, then the actual tsunami would hit, fuckin up anyone who tried to follow.
another theory is that the red water was caused by algae, which would cause the frogs and stuff to jump out as well. the algae also carried substances toxic to animals so if they ingested any they’d get sick and die, so more insects. in this theory there was a sand storm coincidentally that caused the rest
some sources: X X
The volcano wasn’t ON Santorini - it WAS Santorini, then called Thera. It completely blew away the Minoan settlements on the island and was one of the largest eruptions in human history.
The tsunamis from the Theran eruption devastated Crete, weakening the then-powerful Minoan civilization, leaving them open to being invaded by the Mycenaeans.
The volcanic winter it created devastated crops in China leading to the fall of the Xia Dynasty.
The abrupt and catastrophic loss of the people of Thera may have also inspired the myths about Atlantis.
this is blowing my fucking mind
CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS
CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS
CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS
CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS
