It's Not Just A "phase".

Kik: _lost_in_depression_

[sa-dnesss]

“I was 12 thinking about killing myself. I am 21, still thinking about killing myself.”

—

[exoticbitch98]

Try starting at 10 and now 23, still thinking of killing yourself

[imalreadyadeadbitch]

Does anyone else just not feel.. real? Like I can’t imagine people thinking about me or talking about me. I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize myself. I don’t even know who the fuck I am.

[sa-dnesss]

“people like me don’t get happy endings”

—

[hunterinabrowncoat]

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

[why-so-worthless-blog]

[weakflowers]

As i walk by the mirror the side of my stomach seems to come out a cm more then the last time i looked

I can feel my thighs touching while i walk and my collarbones are less prominent

as I type my fingers are big, my chin is multiplying.

all i’m doing is eating my sadness, crying it out and trying to restart

but i always end up in the same place.

and i don’t know if my mind is distorted or i am.

[exoticbitch98]

[thezealotsblindfold]

[exoticbitch98]

@ me 

[exoticbitch98]

Christmas Wish: I wish i didn't hate myself 

[poemswords]

[exoticbitch98]

a heart broken slowly is so much worse

[sleevesofgrass]

You have to die a few times before you can really live.

charles bukowski (via sleevesofgrass)

how many times till enough is enough?

[exoticbitch98]

I tried so hard 

and got so far

but in the end

it doesn't even matter

[expects]

[exoticbitch98]

The amount of hate I feel about myself keeps growing stronger and stronger

[s-a-y-blog1]

[exoticbitch98]

Every time I look in the mirror there is constant disappointment.

[exoticbitch98]

[imoffsoon]

[strangersinadarkparadise]

[exoticbitch98]

No one understands..and I'm tired of explaining..