I’m so used to boomers ruining social media platforms but these fine gentlemen singlehandedly made tiktok worth it.
I love everything about this. They all Get It. They’re doing this comedy thing RIGHT.
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@expellialbus
I’m so used to boomers ruining social media platforms but these fine gentlemen singlehandedly made tiktok worth it.
I love everything about this. They all Get It. They’re doing this comedy thing RIGHT.
what would you do if that was you?
The end!
alxjalxksldksjskc the END
#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I
I mean yeah this is exactly what would happen.
Batman has gone to great lengths to create the persona of “Bruce Wayne, upper class twit who could never be Batman.”
If Batman walked into the middle of Gotham Square and pulled off his mask and yelled “I, Bruce Wayne, am Batman!” The Headline would be “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at costume party, driven home by Commissioner James Gordon.”
And on that ride home:
Gordon: You are such a piece of shit you know that right? One of these days that’s not gonna work.
Bruce: *With the biggest shit eating grin ever* I know Jim, but it never stops being funny.
Gordon: So…. out of curiosity, how much money did Ollie lose to you this time?
Bruce: A gentleman never tells Jim, besides, its not about the money, its about the satisfaction of being right….. and the look on his face.
Gordon: Nice.
and you just know Alfred has a veritable host of “embarrassing early morning bruce” pics and video raring to go, like after a “skiing accident” to cover up a particularly nasty bat-injury in the line of duty
“I’m fine Alfred.”
“If you are, then prove it by putting on your socksies by your self.”
(source is Harley Quinn season 2, episode 5, but I can see this as part of Dave Willis’ “Happy Bruce” headcanon
I think the villain reactions would be priceless as well.
Two Face: Look I was friends with Bruce for years. He’s a nice guy, but doesn’t have the brains God gave a fiddler crab. He’s not Batman.
Riddler: I can confirm this. I took him and his board of directors hostage once. He tried to write me a check and got the check wrong. Four. Times. He had to ask his guy Lucius Fox to do it. It was just plain awkward for everyone involved.
Poison Ivy: Bruce is what we in the business call a Himbo, great to look at, a real sweetheart, but not much going on upstairs. I guarantee he’s not Batman.
Penguin: I’ve had Bruce Wayne as a guest at the Iceberg lounge before. Nice guy, excellent tipper, complete and utter moron. If he’s Batman I’ll eat my umbrella.
Joker: What? Oh yea of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. I mean obviously right?
Rest of the villains:……
Joker: Wait, you mean you guys didn’t know? I figured it out like the first day.
Penguin: You…. you’re joking right.
Joker: Penguin you will KNOW when I am joking. Seriously. No one else figured it out. No one. Just me. You guys are dumbasses.
Riddler: *Pinches bridge of nose* Okay…. so if Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you KNEW this the whole time, why not just KILL BRUCE WAYNE?
Joker: *As serious as a heart attack* because I’m not fighting Bruce Wayne, I’m fighting Batman. Obviously.
Riddler: Goddammit I hate you so much Joker. So fucking much. I can literally taste how much I hate you.
STOP! are you operating on an arbitrary set of terms and rules known only to you? have you created an ultimatum or specific if/then scenario for someone else without communicating it to them? have you considered making a decision and calculated all the consequences and potential reactions to those consequences and consequences for those reactions before you actually made the decision? it may be time to say some words out loud to another person!
(x)
!!
How is this not an actual Geico commercial?
Wait… Did the little one get into insurance so people could get compensation for his big brother’s damage?
No, the big one got into property damage so people would buy his little brother’s insurance
This could be the most important post I’ve ever shared. Please Share it with anyone who is or might be going through this terrible disease.
https://twitter.com/ItsMa____/status/1345432772538724355?s=19
@teddyichneumon
My mood currently.
on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how well would you deal with losing your right hand
or, on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how well do you deal with latent sexual feelings for your sister
or, on a scale of luke skywalker to jamie lannister how well would you deal with your dad being an utter bastard with unresolved issues about the death of his wife
or, on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how well would you deal with the fact that your nephew is a complete and total douche
or, on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how do you feel when you see gwendoline christie in armor
on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how badly did your failed attempt to murder a kid screw everyone over
on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how disappointing was the end of your franchise
on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how out of character did the writers make you before they killed you off
Extremely quick incomplete history of Exandria with the main focus on Wildemount timeline
made mostly because I was like ‘uh when did Molaesmyr fall relative to Aeor’ after last episode; all info summarized from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount or events of Campaign 2; I know the Tal’Dorei guide and High Bearer Vord’s story has some more information but that’s less relevant here.
Long before divergence: creation of the world, granting of divine magic, fight of the peoples of Exandria against the Primordials during which arcane magic was given to the peoples of Exandria, founding of the city of Vasselheim
Pre-divergence: Age of Arcanum (lots of arcane magic, tons of flying cities, including Aeor, Zemniaz, and Kethesk. When Halas and Siff Duthar lived). Ascension of The Raven Queen. Release of the Betrayer Gods by Vespin Chloras. Founding of city of Ghor Dranas by the Betrayer gods at the site of modern-day Rosohna. Ghor Dranas attacked Vasselheim and was barely defeated by the Prime Deities.
Calamity: Following the battle between the gods, people turned to dangerous war magics and eventually a world-wide conflict broke out, destroying most of civilization (all but Vasselheim) and killing approximately 2/3rds of the world population. Aeor was thrown into Eiselcross during this time.
Divergence (year 0 or 1 PD): Signifies the end of the Calamity, with the Prime Deities sealing away the Betrayer gods along with themselves behind the Divine Gate.
Beginning ca 100 PD: The Veluthil Forest, a patch of forest that escaped an arcane forest fire that burned for over a century following the Calamity thanks to blessings from Melora and Corellon, becomes home to the new elven city of Molaesmyr.
Prior to 400 PD: In the Swavain Islands, the Ki’Nau people begin Uk’otoa worship
0-500 PD: Grimgolir (Dwarven society) founded in the Dunrock Mountains, Julous Dominion founded in Western Wynandir centered in Zadash, Kamordah founded as a separate society which worshiped a primordial being of fire. In northern/central Wildemount, the survivors of Zemniaz developed their own society and founded Rexxentrum.
Uthodurn is founded in the Flotket alps by members of the Grimgol Dwarf clan, presumably who fled north rather than south during the Calamity.
The Kryn Dynasty is founded by drow who came to the surface from the underdark beneath Ghor Dranas, having developed a faith in the Luxon. The new city on the wreckage of Ghor Dranas is named Rosohna, meaning Rebirth.
Draconia is founded by survivors of the floating city of Kethesk (draconbloods), who initially allied with the native dragonborn of the Dreemoth Ravine (ravenites) to build a new floating city but eventually enslaved them.
Beginning ca 400 PD: Marquet makes contact with the Swavain Islands off the coast of Western Wildemount in the Lucidian Ocean, makes an alliance permitting the creation of an outpost known as Damali. Shortly after a Ki’Nau conflict with the Vukan, a third party, who were annihilated by Uk’otoa in the process (the Marquesians were allied with the Ki’Nau), Uk’otoa was sealed away via three temples by worshipers of Zehir among the Marquesians. The Menagerie Coast begins to develop via Marquesian and Ki’Nau settlers on the mainland, and at some point prior to the present day the cities along the coast unite into the Clovis Concord.
539 PD: founding of the Dwendalian Empire by Eckhardt Dwendal, a powerful Rexxentrum merchant, and his son Manfried.
544-546 PD: Marrow War between the Dwendalian Empire and Julous Dominion during which the Julous Dominion also quashed an uprising in Kamordah. Ended with the execution of the leaders of the Julous Dominion during peace talks with Emperor Manfried, with the stated reason being they had attempted an assassination. This led to the Julous Dominion being incorporated into the empire.
circa 571 PD: Eve of Crimson Midnight, a brief but violent conflict in Rexxentrum between arcane practitioners originating in the Dwendalian Empire vs. those originally from the Julous Dominion. Many civilians were killed and the remaining mages were brought before the king as prisoners. The Cerberus Assembly was founded as a result, in explicit service to the Dwendalian Emperor.
585 PD: sudden toxic purple-gray blight emerged from the center of Molaesmyr, destroying the city. Some survivors fled northwest to the Pearlbow Wilderness and founded Bysaes Tyl; others fled northeast and eventually found Uthodurn, were taken in as refugees and eventually equal members of the Uthodurnian Diarchy.
571 PD - 835 PD: expansion of the Dwendalian Empire into Grimgolir, ongoing cold war and occasional skirmishes with Xhorhas and the Kryn Dynasty, treaties made with the Clovis Concord on the Western Coast of Wildemount.
815 PD: Fall of Draconia during the Chroma Conclave, which primarily affected Tal’Dorei and Issylra.
835 PD: Attack on the halls of Erudition in Zadash by the Kryn Dynasty.
For perspective
- Any survivors of the Calamity are either, for lack of a better term, a non-playable race (ie, dragons, archfey, etc) or have engaged in life-extending magic of some sort (consecution being the most commonly seen one - we know the Bright Queen is over 1000 years old - but there could be archdruids and people who have engaged in necromancy and other age of arcanum methods a la Halas). As such nearly all of the people in Wildemount who remember the Calamity first-hand are going to be high-level Kryn Dynasty officials, and most if not all of those were born as drow who would have experienced the Calamity living in the underdark beneath the city of Ghor Dranas.
- on the other hand, plenty of elves and older dwarves, gnomes, and firbolgs may recall the Marrow War/founding of the Dwendalian Empire, fall of Molaesmyr, and development of the Menagerie Coast and Clovis Concord. Ludinus is indicated to be from Molaesmyr pre-fall, Yussa could very likely be an original Marquesian settler to the Menagerie coast, and Cornelius, Constance, and Corrin probably remember the fall of Molaesmyr. Dagen might have been a child in Uthodurn prior to the arrival of the Molaesmyr refugees, and so on.
- Caleb and Fjord may have clear first-hand memories of hearing about the fall of Draconia; Veth, Jester, and Beau may have hazier ones, and it’s unknown if Yasha or Caduceus would have been aware.
“in this essay i will explore” memes piss me off because it implies y’all still using first person pronouns when writing academically. childish ass
In this essay, this writer will explore the implications of pretending that one’s own personal view is not part of one’s essay, and the inaccessibility of academia related to established custom of artificial detachment.
In this essay, I will demonstrate that the blanket ban on first-person pronouns in high-school and some university English classes is poorly understood and hastily adopted as a result. I will further illustrate that it is a mere substitute for explaining to inexperienced writers that excessive use of phrases like “I think” or “I believe” is unnecessary and rhetorically weakens academic writing, and that opinions expressed in an essay are already assumed to be those of the author. Finally, I will address strategies for effectively conveying that information to students, who often find it difficult to grasp.
In this essay, passive voice will be used throughout in order to distance the work done from any researchers, or, in reality, kind of imply all experiments were done by magical lab gremlins and the results were simply recorded.
in this essay, enlightenment will descend upon you without the agency of any living being. you will know things, yet know not how you know.
prepare yourself. it begins.
In this essay, I will use the first person pronoun as a bludgeoning weapon