Just a 23 year old system (do we need a name?) Existing. Go us!
hello vonnie
trying on a metaphor

@theartofmadeline
Peter Solarz
Misplaced Lens Cap
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
Mike Driver
DEAR READER

No title available

JBB: An Artblog!
d e v o n
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JVL

Love Begins
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever

roma★
No title available

ellievsbear

seen from Maldives
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seen from Türkiye

seen from Spain

seen from United States

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seen from United States

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seen from Italy
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seen from United States
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@exploringweare
Just a 23 year old system (do we need a name?) Existing. Go us!
I mean at least he said something instead of drinking and leaving
why is my mom mad?
a) i existed.
b) i breathed wrong.
c) i blinked too loud.
d) all of the above.
(It's my blog I can do what I want to)
+ CPTSD and DID and DPDR - How to work around them all +
I've been trying to figure out what resources will help me make my daily life better. And, while I'm doing that, I'm realising... there aren't a lot of resources out there on this specific thing. And it's really frustrating. (Like, there are the same amount of people with DID as redheads, similar numbers to OCD and stuff... why aren't there more resources? Why is it just professionals. Where are every day coping kits and corners and DID specific stuff. And I know the answers are Overlapping Symptoms and Not Enough People. But let me vent more)
I find it REALLY frustrating that people with DID are told not to post daily blogs and such for their "Safety". Like, "what if a little fronts" "what if someone uses the info to find where you live and you dissociate and get kidnapped or aomething"
Is the world safe or not? Oh, that is so frustrating. Anyway. (I'm lucky I live in Australia, in the country. But it's still a THEM problem. Like, why are DID systems told to be cautious. It's like woman being told not to wear things too sexual cause it might attract predators. Like, no. Let us live our lives. Grr.
ANYWAY
So, I've been looking through all these "calm kit resources" and they're all... not right. For me. For DID. Like, they actually wouldn't help. Like, I'm getting so frustrated atm. (and I'm venting) "Let's make a grounding kit, and do 5-1" and my brain says "But, legit. Danger is actually right around the corner. Calming down would be stupid. Why are you telling me to do that?"
WHY don't I see anyone talking about this ANYWHERE?! WHY does it feel like- my psych was happy to back off. But it feels like I'm being, like, babied or something. Ableism! How many resources (especially visual in DPDR) are like "your body is wrong. Just tell it it is wrong, and you'll do better". It makes me want to SCREAM and tear my hair out as well. And maybe to hide. And NOBODY ELSE is telling them off. It works well for everybody else.
But there is no resources for me! So, what about me!!!
I'm still working out how to work around this and figure it out. BUT, here is what I have so far.
1. Strawberry Shortcake Berry Bitty Adventures - Your brain believes that others will go off the deepend. They will. But, you can be prepared. You can say all the right things. Learn de-esculating. And you can learn how people outside your circle react, normal-er people. Practice good communication skills to figure out what life is supposed to be like. Not how growing up badly has taught you it should be.
2. Boundaries - have them. Try them. Even "stupid", little ones. Create a list of boundaries and carry them around. Repeat them when others talk to you. "I currently have two tasks happening, I can't add more" "You are talking to me in a disrespectful way. I have a boundary that says I won't partake in this scenerio. Especially from people who say they are fmaily and friends" "This process is taking too much energy (to deal with other people and their problems and yourself panicing about their problems). It's time to disengage. I have a rule that says this level of thinking means I'm leaving the situation. It is time to leave the situation".
Note - boundaries are both flexible, and advisory in nature. There is no pain to be had in trying to keep a boundary and having it not work perfectly. This isn't a rule with punishment. If it doesn't happen, you can test and figure out how to make it work better next time. That's the point of building a boundary. Feel proud in the observation of each hit, as you build it up better)
3. Make escape plans - It may seem silly, or feel silly, because nobody else does. (But nobody else has had a spilled drink as a five year old turn into a shouting attack by parents, so they can shut up. Insert your own trauma examples here). But, A) when your brain panics, it doesn't think straight. Having rules preprepared means it doesn't have to partake in more big thinking to find a way out. B) It's soothing as floof. Go through all the scary things you think could happen. Plan for each of them. If you can't plan for them, consider they might be out of your control, those ones. Like, here's a coping mechanism instead. Phone number for friends. It's still a plan, it still counts. But it is SO SOOTHING knowing what you will do. You want calm. Give your anxiety that to chew on. C) It actually is smart. It doesn't hurt to have a plan. I think most children in safe households with stable attachments are taught something similar. Like, how else are they so calm? D) Calm.
4. Create safe environments for your alters to front in - I hear everyone talk about "calm the anxiety and it will go back to normal" but that isn't what plurality is about. Your alters are lost parts of you that got shoved to the side. The way to get them back is to show they are acceptable and to recognise them as your own, to agree with them to the point you may as well come back together. And that WON'T HAPPEN if your alters have to place to front.
ABANDON the calming corner. Create an alter acceptance corner instead. Put in their favourite things. Try and make it, not too overwhelming. But have their favourite pieaces there.
Beyond that. If people see you acting weird, they usually won't care that much. Normalise acting a bit weird. If you're worried, you can buddy system and work on communication. But the point is, Littles, protectors, tween alters - they aren't that strange - they need time out to see the world. They need acceptance, and friends, and to not be tormented for fronting. Supervise. But if you can, let them go on walks. Plan for them to have the option to have TV time, dance time, to have their own little adventures. Plan it in advance. Give it structure. But, let them have it. Let them buy silly nothings (cheap) on outings. Let them be goofy. Because it is actually safe to. When you control the narritive and create these situations. You can find the safety in the chaos.
Again, it's trial and error. But SO OFTEN DID systems are told that they shouldn't. They should be getting the alters under control. They should be making it jappen less, unless they have a miracle care taker partner to supervise. That the alters should front less so they can fit in in more. Age your alters up. Don't make a nursery for your baby alters. Don't act different. Stay the same. And if you do act different. It is cringe. Don't share. No! Ignore them when they say that! In fact, do it in spite of them. Mwahaha. Stigma be gone!
5. Create grounding specifically for your alters - This is a piggyback off four, but grounding kits (basic) for DID systems won't work. (Or, they help a bit, but try this instead). Typical ground methods work for the person fronting, but after something happens to you, it will likely affect all of your alters and gang in some way. So, your best bet is not to ground just for you. It's not an efficiency thing.
If you have communication or not, add hyperfixations to your calm kit. Start talking about your alters hobbies, planning things you can do with them next. Talk about, if you can, how this experience that shocked you all will make it better. And if they end up ranting, they're back, take it as a win. If they don't want to talk about, that's fine. Play music and a playlist multiple system members will like (if there is disagreement, go for system calming and offer the other playlist time a little later. Or just one song. Or offer to skip. Anyway, planning ig? It does work though!). I find it's really validating for alters to see the others in the room with them, and to be allowed to exist anyway. Let your alters have their squables. That's what DID life looks like. But at the same time, keep with your rules. Everyone here is acceptable. I think that's what therapy taught us the most. Help the adults and the littles understand eachother. Let the fond-exasperation develop. See hos it goes.
... Is that my whole list? For now! I still have more things to find. This is draft 1. But I thought I'd type it and share it anyway.
Okay, so I found my blog again! Today is a big day for me, and I can't sleep and I don't want to sleep and I can't get up and my legs hurt so I'm gonna share! Yay!
So, today (I'm from Australia) I'm seeing my Local District Coordinator. I'm applying for NDIS again, which has been super hard. So many sessions spent dispelling disbeliefs, and those awful questions. We have DID! Why do people think asking us questions is a smart idea? Not what I mean but, summerising answers of multiple alters is a lot harder than just answering as a singlet. And the way they ask, like, are you sure? No I'm not. I have no communication with half those alters and they're telling me bullshit. Maybe. Not gonna lie, Doc. I'm as much in the dark as you are.
Anyway, that has been peeving me off for a long time now.
My psych says that if you block out some of your feelings, you end up blocking all of them out. 'It doesn't matter' is one of our beliefs that we are working on changing. The idea that our divorced parents were both the mentally ill family member and my needs came last before theirs because I was so much better off than them is a hard thing to get over. It hurts still. And that's not even all of it.
I literally live with someone, who is doing better now. But when they're upset they say mean things. The truth, they say. But it hurts and it doesn't have to, if they said it nicely. And so, our alters literally switch in when they are out and mad. And every morning. They wait until the other nice person we live with front - and they are not perfwct, they're mean to the littles and insult us when we get overwhelming for them, part of the reason we are seeking more supporr - before letting me(?) switch in and helping us out of bed for the day. Sometimes the nice person doesn't get home before lunch, but I don't have legs before then. Just hands and fingers to scroll.
I have these periods of 'punishment'. When I was a kid, I was told when I did something wrong that I had to go be alone and think about it. I asked 'what did I do wrong' and they said that if I just thought about it, I would know. Well, I didn't figure it out. And they got upset when I acted that way. So, I learned that when I have done something(?) to upset them or someone(?) that I should not be allowed to do what makes me happy(?) which ends in this weird cycle of 'be quiet and play that one stupid game and listen to irrelevant youtube nonesense because that's wasting your life and there is no snjoyment and that's the perfect place to be'. Which. Painful. (I needed to vent)
Anyway, today, we are going to our local bigger-small-town to talk to the people with the knowledge of what help can be given. Last time we applied for their NDIS help they said we didn't have proof of a lifelong disability. We are on disability pension though, and apparently we were suppose to talk to them back when we got on that but... we didn't. But nobody is coping at home and I'm TIRED and I'm really TRYing! You know?
Nobody else seems to get how big of a deal this is. Talking to people. Telling them about OUR struggles, OUR disability. Which we don't remember half of, which we question under stress.
Our Mum isn't coming in with us. Neither is her partner. My Dad is as dead as a door knob. I'm scared I'm not going to remember half of my symptoms. That's fine, I tell myself. That is the point. But I feel sick about it, in my belly. I'm scared. Restless legs are annoying, I don't feel calm. I sort of wish I didn't have to do this.
The only 'outing' I get at the moment is a daily trip to the cafe. Otherwise, I don't socialise with anyone outside of my house, which some days is barely a handful of sentances, or listening to their problems and having my own missed. But I'm bad with my money at the cafe. I'm trying to curb my spending but I just want to eat and feel better. Between that and $250 psych appointments per week (that's like, half my disability pay check) my savings account isn't having fun. Though I got paid back some money I loaned for the house, that was before I started paying board. My Mum won't quit talking about how tight money is and how she can never get what she wants. (Starting to question if she is a sociapath - someone who feels less emotion than most of us do, so can't guage others feelings properly or sympathise in return). She has this habbit of thinking 'you said something mean to me so I'll saying whatever mean things back until I feel satisfied'. Like, her partner will be like: I'm sorry (i n a frustrated tone) and that's enough leverage to bring up everyrhing wrong in her day to day life and blame it them: Like, you didn't make the dinner, or listen, or wash the clothes, and now my life is so out of control and it will never get better and you're talking back at me and making fun of my issues and How DaRe YoU?
I get people vope hos they cope sometimes. But it hurts. And it scared my alters a ahole bunch.
Anywahmy. Whenever I look up pshychosocial or psychological disabilities, nothing mental health related comes up. It's exhausting. I wish it did. I wish there was more soothing and safe feeling relatable DID content. I'm tired for now.
I want to try exploring communities and talking to more people. And I just realised this is the profile that will probably be vetted. Oof.
I have a few other profiles on here. Trynadollsieplay is probably the most important for fashion.
I'm not just a DID system. My main account is just my system account. I don't know what community vetters will see so I'll leave this here.
We have lots of alters. Many of which really love japanese anime idols and fashion, specifically yumekawa, aiktasu and stuff like that.
A lot of us want to learn how to sew. Considering making another blog for it. But we love lolita fashion. And it feels like we live in a world where nobody wants to see that.
Our psych says we should expand our world view, lol. Like, find friends who actually would like what we do.
OH WE LOVE NILE PERCH! IT IS BAE! I WANT LOLITA NILE PERCH! MY ROOM IS PASTELLY. PLEASE LET ME JOIN CUTE SPACES AHAHAHAHA!!!!
We don't want to change Bill's space here. But we like the fashion. Sorry if Vetters have to look through the DID stuff to get there. It must suck for them.
We promise to be good and stay on topic. This profile is an emotional spot for us, but not all our profiles are. Sorry not sorry. I will leave this here.
This is my pinterest
Brin PP | loves cute things, interested in fashion design +
Specifically there is a board called japanese and yumekawaii brands... I have spent so much time there ehe
I want to try exploring communities and talking to more people. And I just realised this is the profile that will probably be vetted. Oof.
I have a few other profiles on here. Trynadollsieplay is probably the most important for fashion.
I'm not just a DID system. My main account is just my system account. I don't know what community vetters will see so I'll leave this here.
We have lots of alters. Many of which really love japanese anime idols and fashion, specifically yumekawa, aiktasu and stuff like that.
A lot of us want to learn how to sew. Considering making another blog for it. But we love lolita fashion. And it feels like we live in a world where nobody wants to see that.
Our psych says we should expand our world view, lol. Like, find friends who actually would like what we do.
OH WE LOVE NILE PERCH! IT IS BAE! I WANT LOLITA NILE PERCH! MY ROOM IS PASTELLY. PLEASE LET ME JOIN CUTE SPACES AHAHAHAHA!!!!
We don't want to change Bill's space here. But we like the fashion. Sorry if Vetters have to look through the DID stuff to get there. It must suck for them.
We promise to be good and stay on topic. This profile is an emotional spot for us, but not all our profiles are. Sorry not sorry. I will leave this here.
This is my pinterest
Brin PP | loves cute things, interested in fashion design +
I want to try exploring communities and talking to more people. And I just realised this is the profile that will probably be vetted. Oof.
I have a few other profiles on here. Trynadollsieplay is probably the most important for fashion.
I'm not just a DID system. My main account is just my system account. I don't know what community vetters will see so I'll leave this here.
We have lots of alters. Many of which really love japanese anime idols and fashion, specifically yumekawa, aiktasu and stuff like that.
A lot of us want to learn how to sew. Considering making another blog for it. But we love lolita fashion. And it feels like we live in a world where nobody wants to see that.
Our psych says we should expand our world view, lol. Like, find friends who actually would like what we do.
OH WE LOVE NILE PERCH! IT IS BAE! I WANT LOLITA NILE PERCH! MY ROOM IS PASTELLY. PLEASE LET ME JOIN CUTE SPACES AHAHAHAHA!!!!
We don't want to change Bill's space here. But we like the fashion. Sorry if Vetters have to look through the DID stuff to get there. It must suck for them.
We promise to be good and stay on topic. This profile is an emotional spot for us, but not all our profiles are. Sorry not sorry. I will leave this here.
As soon as you realize how aggressively singletnormative the trans community is you will never stop being angry about it
Trans singlets will go on and on about how many plurals they know and how affirming they are for not being as blatantly hateful as your average cis singlet and then you talk to them one on one and find out they don’t actually treat any of their plural friends as people
All the woke trans singlets are pro-plural and pro-nonbinary until the sentence "Some of my system members are transfeminine and some of them are transmasculine" comes out of your mouth, and then suddenly everybody wants to know what genitals you have and they're going to start Making Assumptions if you don't answer quickly enough
Yeah, the trans community is pro-plural until plural identities don’t fit neatly into labels that were constructed by singlets
The number of times I've seen a trans singlet say something ignorant and just know they'd be calling us freaks if they could...
One trend in particular that's turned us off from trans spaces is when a "system inclusive" survey or such will say "people" or "persons" to refer to participants, and then clarify off to the side say that systems should only respond once, per their shared body, and either state explicitly or heavily imply that alters do not count as persons to them. Like. Oh, okay. As I've said before, you could at least not pretend to support systems, if you're going to turn around and dehumanize us the second we dare to think we're actually included in something.
"oh but they need accurate data per bodies because it's a population thing" then they need to stop claiming it's about people. If a survey is meant to be taken on a "per person" basis, and all the language is about trans people, but systems are only allowed to take it once, as if they are a singular person, then they are openly saying that they do not consider alters to be people. They do not respect us, not even enough to be upfront about it.
And then the survey questions aren't even prepared for a system to answer them collectively, anyway, meaning even systems who do consider themselves to be a singular person can run into a shit ton of issues just trying to get their voices heard. No effort at all, just performative "inclusion" that boxes us out while claiming to be a place for all of us to speak.
I swear, one of the biggest hurdles to plural acceptance is people not realizing there's more to it than just accepting that systems exist. We're a marginalized group; there are biases you've been taught about us and things you've never realized left us out. This is not a situation where you can say "I don't get it but I support you." Learn. Or else your support is as worth as much as a cobweb. And just like a cobweb, you tend to get in the way.
As a polyfragmented DID system, we never get to finish our sentences. We rapidly switch, all the time. Clear alters, different alters. If you are a safe person, you can hear it, see it, tell it. If not, we just seem a bit neurotic.
But it comes with all the symptoms. I'm hearing the last half of what I said from another person, and the first half of what you said. It is summarised. And if you asked why I said the last half of what I said, and my reasons, you'll likely hear me figuring it out all over. With opinions that don't match. That's just who I am.
Further, my littles don't get the time to develop different likes and identities. My alters in general don't know their boundaries. They never had to.
There have only been a few times the system stops. It happened in therapy last week. We said something that triggered them near the front, were in a standstill, then someone else fronted. A moment where nobody could word. There are lots of moments where we can't move how we want to, some because small alters, but some from fear. I can taste it, see it if I consider it. They share images of what happened. Not what they saw. But what they can imagine and put together happened. And it's enough to help us ground. #grateful
Hot take... I sort of get what people say about "when people call themselves 'ai artists'." Like, they are creating something. Sometimes, creating something feels awesome.
As someone who likes to do diamond dots, and my Mum does too, we are creating with these piece. You lay down each and every dot. You create a sparkly masterpiece.
And yet. It's not yours. You aren't 'creating art'. Some might say you are doing the equivilant of tracing, or a colour by number. But because it's diamond dots, because you don't individually draw each line, it is said to not count anymore. Or that is how it seems.
Getting the right dots in the right slpots takes time, patience, and focus. Finding the right words to get ai to spit out the right image, I imagine, takes time too.
I was looking at an AI generated prompt for my search results, and while I realise it is stealing information from everyone else, as a person with memory issues and, well... DID and CPTSD and a bad habbit of being floaty and scatterbrained a bit, switchy, fuzzy and dissociated, seeing these generated summaries of what I'm looking up is calming and helps me focus on my goals. It makes the browsing experience more accessible. K have to say that it makes it better.
It's also a bit exciting to see what this silly little thing brings up. The fact that it's usually correct, useless information is quite soothing too. It feels a bit like coming home. Makes everything a little bit better.
Something bad was going to happen to Earth. I left with Marcel and Xander, and we stopped at a restaurant for food, where I met someone new.
I was posting some art I made, and she posted hers right after, which was rude. I started arguing with her, at one point asking about the art she posted, where she revealed interesting Sonic lore that intrigued me. We put the argument behind us and hung out for the rest of the time. I learned that her name was Ally and this was her first time visiting Earth, but now that it was getting destroyed, she has to leave. I introduced myself as Moon and offered to go with her.
We went into her spaceship, which was more like a tiny sphere. Ally started driving, but she started to breathe heavily and stoped steering. She was having a panic attack, so I had to take over flying.
We were approached by three similar-looking spaceships, except they were darker in colour. They fired at us, which I managed to dodge with an uncontrollable sharp turn. I managed to return fire on one spaceship before I had to flee, dodging and weaving with terrifying speed.
Before long, a large mothership that somewhat resembled a hover drone came into view. I dove underneath it and turned back to my pursuers, who had wisely decided to back off. I managed to direct the spaceship in through a hole at the bottom, and Ally and I exited the ship. She was doing better now, and complemented me on my flying skills. Few flyers could direct their ship like that. I laughed and thanked her, but added that I was probably not the best candidate for flying.
Ally led me to a group of girls our age, and introduced me as a new cadet. They were friendly, but went back to their own thing quickly.
More girls joined the group, clearly already familiar with everyone there. To my surprise, a boy wandered in, and everyone began baby-talking at him and acting really condescending. He told us that Admiral Heather would be here shortly, and left.
I asked Ally what that was all about, why did everyone react to the boy like that. She looked confused and said that’s the way it was here — males weren’t as capable as females, and would remain on the ship doing menial work while the women went on important missions. Sexism was alive and well on the mothership.
Admiral Heather made her appearance, and all the girls snapped to attention. She welcomed everyone back from their scouting missions to find Warg outposts, and told everyone to report any findings to her office later. This group had proven themselves as worthy warriors, and would be welcomed into the next rank. Then she dismissed us, and we all went back to our quarters.
Ally took me to her room, and we talked. I asked her what happened back on the ship, when she shut down, and she nervously said that it just happens sometimes. She doesn’t know why.
I told her that it was most likely a panic attack, and I had them too occasionally. I explained how they worked and how they were not a symptom of weakness or anything of the sort. Ally seemed mystified, telling me that everyone thought she was suffering from some sort of disease, and no treatment had worked, in fact they often made it worse. Fearing that it was contagious, nobody would share a room with her.
I confidently told her that I would stay here with her, and she seemed genuinely surprised, and thanked me earnestly. I offered a hug, and Ally hesitantly tried, the concept apparently new to her. I hugged her, and she whispered that it was nice. I’d have to sign up to officially be able to stay in this room with her, but for tonight it was fine.
I took the empty bed on the other side of the room and watched as Ally took out a journal and started writing. I was curious, and managed to catch a glimpse of a sentence that had my name in it, but decided not to push the issue. She was entitled to her privacy. We went to bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night to find Ally breathing shakily. I came over to her and quietly asked what she’d like me to do. She gasped out that she didn’t know, so I sat on the edge of her bed and wrapped her in a bear hug. It seemed to help, and Ally regained control of her breathing in just a few minutes. I asked if she was okay now, and she said yes. I asked if she’d like me to stay, and she said yes. I held her for the rest of the night, and we fell asleep that way.
We awoke early the next morning, and Ally said it was time for training. They were going to assess everyone’s abilities individually, to make sure they hadn’t fallen during their time away. I stopped by the front desk and signed up as Ally’s roommate, and the clerk registered me in the system. I could now train with everyone else.
The first was flying. I was naturally skilled at evasion and aerial battle, but making sharp turns and navigating tight spaces turned out to be an issue for me. At least I knew now.
The other lesson, surprisingly, was on water. I went on a jet ski with two guides, and we took off. I actually found it easier than flying, but the exercise was a lot longer, and familiarizing myself with the jet ski’s controls turned out to be a steep learning curve. I couldn’t fit through the last doorway and got marked down for it.
The tests were over, and I met up with Ally by a refreshments table. We talked about our results, but the conversation turned back to earth. Ally was not supposed to be there at all, as the people here were forbidden from ever visiting the primitive earth for fear of one group infecting the other somehow. They were told stories about how males dominated the society there and the injustice all around, and were made to believe that this backwards planet had nothing good about it. But Ally found it beautiful, and wished she could return and befriend one of the fluffy creatures she saw, a dog. Such an idea was treason, of course.
I noticed a guard looking directly at us. Her name was Luna, and she started to approach us stiffly. We ran. Ally turned out to be very bad at sneaking, and we ran all the way back to our room with Luna close behind. We were cornered.
Luna looked down at us and reached into her bag. We tensed, expecting her to pull a weapon, but she drew out a small white creature. She placed it on the floor and shut the door without a word.
I recognized this creature. This was my dog, Ferdinand! I had no idea how Luna happened across him. We made sure to make Ferdie a hiding spot during the way, and spent the rest of the time cuddling the old dog.
Ally leaned against me, and I took her hand. I asked how she felt. She said she felt… home, for the first time. This place finally felt like home, and it was because of me. We spent the rest of the night at each other’s side.
My morning so far:
1. Tried to come to terms with spending the first half hour of the day reading fanfics. It doesn't help me but I'm bad at figuring out what else to do.
2. Went out of my room to see my Mum (we live together). Fought the urge to try and fix all her problems I could. Succeeded but I feel shite.
3. Went to my room. Cleared some stuff. Sitting by the window. Heard Mum and Partner talking outside my room. Fought the urge to help them communicate better.
4. Realised most people actually do other things with their day. Tried to plan something, only to fall happily into a rocking dissociated phase.
5. Tried to get through the reason we don't go outside or take our cat on walks anymore. There is a new shop in the main street for tractors and the person running it is always looking out for customers. For some reason I have an irrational fear of going anywhere near him. Realised said fear was rising.
6. Tried to figure out what other people do with their day. Remembered my identity confusion. Went to look in the mirror. Flash back. Couldn't lift my arms without feeling the urge to be sick.
7. Retreated to my room to figure out what to do next, only to take a second to retrospect. Most people are always doing something with their day, they get to share things they do with their day. I went to do things with my day and dissociated.
8. Imagine. "What did you do today?" I sat on a chair facing my bed and couldn't find it in my mind to move any further than rocking. Parents are also still talking.
Today I am feeling shit. Thought I'd share. Apparently this is not normal lmao. I've been up for 2 hours. You could say I'm exaggerating. But you could also say I'm not doing well, and it doesn't tend to get better.