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@exrin
wow not gonna name any names but SOMEBODY (me) needs 2 calm down!!!!
i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over
I actually had no idea women found this so scary
my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling iām a little afraid heās going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry
My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. Heās made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.
this was women in general? i knew my gf didnāt like it but I was unaware if this affected most women
Yes, it does
As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
My dad thinks itās funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldnāt stop. Iām glad to see Iām not aloneā¦
This is so importantā seeing how common this isā and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isnāt something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threatĀ that women constantly have to be afraid of.Ā This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. Itās so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just canāt deny the existence of any longer.
Iām glad Iām not the only one
My fellow men, pay attention. I didnāt realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and itās heartbreaking.
Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, itās scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didnāt think I would hurt her. But see, that doesnāt matter. It wasnāt a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; itās a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDNāT trust you.)
Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.
I used to be horrible about this, because I didnāt realize how intimidating it was. I didnāt understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didnāt matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.
I get that when passions are high, and when youāre frustrated, itās a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. Iām not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.
Donāt tell me itās too hard, that you just canāt do it, or that you āshouldnāt have to.ā Iām 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.
Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesnāt matter if youāre thinking, ābut I would neverā¦ā
History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man āwould never.ā This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they āwould neverā⦠right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her⦠just once, yāknow, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didnāt she know that HEāS NOT LIKE THAT and IāLL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF MEā¦
We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as weāre old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men āwould neverā and which men āwould never⦠except if.ā
We live or die on that āif.ā And any man who doesnāt like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not womenās fear.
The reaction shouldnāt be ānot all men are like that;ā it should be āno woman should have to live in fear.ā
Itās telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, āwhy did she stay with him?ā and not āwhy did he treat her like that?ā
This made me cry.
Donāt skip over this.
Source
I want men to try and imagine going about your dayāworking, running, hiking, whateverāand not being allowed to wear pants under threats of violence or total social and economic exclusion.
Thatās the kind of irrationally violent and controlling behaviour women have been up against.
Also for anyone who thinks itās easy for women to be gender non conforming because we can wear pants.
The only reason we can is because we fought tooth and nail for the right to! Any rights we take for granted today weāre the result of a prolonged, bitter battle fought by our predecessors for every inch of territory gained. Never forget that.
Title IX (1972) declared that girls could not be required to wear skirts to school.
Women who were United States senators were not allowed to wear trousers on the Senate floor until 1993, after senators Barbara Mikulski and Carol Moseley Braun wore them in protest, which encouraged female staff members to do likewise.
This was never given to us. Women have had to fight just to be able to wear pants. Women who are still alive remember having to wear skirts to school, even in the dead of winter, when it was so cold that just having a layer of tights between them and the elements was downright dangerous. Women who remember not even being allowed to wear pants under their skirts, for no other reason than they were female.
So donāt talk about women wearing pants being gender nonconforming like itās easy. Itās only less difficult now because your foremothers refused to comply.
My mother spent her entire school career up until high school having to wear skirts, no matter how horrible the New England winters got, because she was forbidden to do otherwise. There were times when the weather was bad where my grandmother kept her home rather than make her walk to and from the bus in a skirt.Ā
They rebroadcast a few old interviews with Mary Tyler Moore, and in them she addressed the pants issue. There was a strict limit on what kind of pants she could wear (hence, always Capri pants, nothing masculine), and to use her words, how much cupping the pants could show. A censor would look at every outfit when she came out on stage, and if the pants cupped her buttocks too much, defining them rather than hiding them, then she had to get another pair.
The first time my mother was allowed to wear pants to school was when she was a senior in high school. She had broken her leg on a ski trip and her dresses were all too short to wear with crutches. Before finally letting her leave the house in pants, my grandfather first attempted to staple newspapers to her hemline to make it a more appropriate length.
Today I, a grown-ass woman, started crying in a Petco because they had a cat whose birthday is today and the sign said she just wants a birthday party
#cats dont even know what birthdays are
Shout out to my crew: people that were told they were brilliant as children and then went on to be below average adults. We ride together, we disappoint our parents together.
Tech Week explained by Leslie Knope
when christian artists change the line in hallelujah from āmaybe thereās a God aboveā to āI know that thereās a God aboveā >:c
#idk why iām so unreasonably angry#maybe cuz itās my fav line
itās also because Leonard COHEN (!) was Jewish and this is a quintessentially Jewish line, and changing it to that level of Annoying Certainty is stripping it of its Jewish meaning and imbuing it with that particularly American smug evangelical Christian attitude that makes me tired, so very tired
THAT IS EXACTLY WHY
I donāt think Iāve heard any cover artist sing my favorite verses You say I took the name in vain I donāt even know the name But if I did, well really, whatās it to you? Thereās aĀ blaze of light In every word It doesnāt matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah I did my best, it wasnāt much I couldnāt feel, so I tried to touch Iāve told the truth, I didnāt come to fool you And even though It all went wrong Iāll stand before the Lord of Song With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
um woah
I will always hit the reblog button so hard for Hallelujah but ESPECIALLY mentions of the elusive final verses which are just about my favorite lyrics ever. Why do people always omit the best part of the song??
In Yiddish
In Hebrew
In Ladino
Yeah, I wonder why the verses that reference specific Jewish mystical and chassidic concepts that arenāt readily understood by AmericanĀ āI love Jews, you know, Jesus was Jewish!ā Christians never get any airtime. Funny that.
You say I took the name in vain I donāt even know the name But if I did, well really, whatās it to you? Thereās a blaze of light In every word It doesnāt matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah
These are specifically about Chassidic Jewish theories of the holy language, how each letter and combination of letters in Hebrew contains the essence of the divine spark and if used correctly, can unlock or uncover the divine spark in the mundane material word. And of course, there are secret names of God which, when spoken by any ordinary human would kill them, but if you are worthy and holy and righteous can be used to perform miracles or even to behold the glory of God face-to-face. The words themselves have power. Orthodox Jews often wonāt even pronounce the wordĀ āhallelujahā in itās entirety in conversation, because theĀ āyahā sound at the end is a True Name of God (there are hundreds, supposedly) and thus too holy to say outside of prayer.
None of this is to mention how Davidās sin in sleeping with Batshevah (the subject of much of the song, with a brief deviation to Shimshon and Delilah) is considered the turning point in the Tanach that ultimately dooms the Davidic line at the cosmological level and thus dooms Jewish sovereignty and independence altogether. From a Christian perspective this led to Jesus, the King of Kings, and thatās all very well and good for them, but for the Jews, the Davidic line never returned and is the central tragedy of the total arc of the Torah. Like, our Bible doesnāt have a happy ending? And thatās what this song is about? Thereās no Grace - you just have to sit with the sin and its consequence.
Of course, Cohen is referencing all of this ironically, and personalizing these very high-level religious concepts. Like the point of this song is that Cohen, the songwriter, is identifying with David, the psalmist, and identifying his own sins with Davidās. The ache that you hear in this song is that the two thousand year exile that resulted from one wrong night of passion and Cohen feels that the pain he has caused to his lover is of equally monumental infamy. Basically, in a certain light, the whole of Psalms is a vain effort for David to atone for his sin and I think Cohen was writing this song in wonderment that David could eternally praise the God who would not forgive him and would force him and his people into exile. But he ultimately gets how you have to surrender to the inexorable force of God in the face of your own inadequacies and how to surrender is to worship and to worship is to praise - hence, Hallelujah. You can either do the right thing and worship God from the start, or you can fuck up, be punished, and thus be forced to beg for His forgiveness. Itās the terrible inevitability of praise thatās driving him mad.
Like honestly, I identify with this song so strongly as an off-the-derech Jew, I sometimes wonder what Christians can possibly hear in this song, as it speaks so specifically to the sadomasochistic relationship that a lapsed Jew has with their God.Ā Itās such a different song from a Christian theological perspective itās almost unrecognizable, man.Ā This song continues to be a wonder of postmodern Jewish theology and sexuality from start to finish. Donāt let anyone give you any āJudeo-Christianā narishkeit. This is a Jewish song.
(Sorry about the wild tangent itās just 2AM and I love this song so dang much, you guys.)
This is such an amazing analysis of this song.
This is *brilliant* analysis and could not possibly be more on point. Well done, @stoneandbloodandwater.
CHARADE (1963), dir. Stanley Donen
Every time I wear my glasses.
this is not one house, this is just what iāve been loving on pinterest lately. maybe iāll get my shit together and post on the instagram account too.Ā
women get flak for having so many candles but like. what else is it socially acceptable and legal to light on fire after a long, stressful day
Please keep having fun. Iāll sleep in the yard.
Secret Panel HERE!
If itās 1am, Iām going to bed. I donāt care if there are still people in my house.
Now I canāt help but imagine a 60 year old seriel killer at a millenials door waiting, mad as fuck, checking his watch , and leaving out of frustration and writes a blog post about how millenials are ruining this country
Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?
hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say itās by Rembrandt but thatās probably not right
Itās āSmiling Girl, a Courtesan, Holding an Obscene Imageā by Gerard van Honthorst!!
Itās the best painting that exists
itās not you, its your eyebrows