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There’s a dollar in my g string

THAT IS YOUR D STRING. G IS ALL THE WAY ON MY LEFT.

EXCUSE ME you uncultured swine. That IS my G string. LEFT TO RIGHT IT’S: C G D A ON A CELLO. And if you notice the dollar is wonderfully tucked in my G STRING. DO NOT DOUBT MY SIX YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.

birdsarecommunists

FUCKING VIOLINISTS

star-spangled-jackass

THEY’RE NOT CALLED VIOLINISTS THEY’RE CALLED CELLISTS

bowiesbiatch

IT,WAS THE VIOLINIST THAT THOUGHT IT WAS THE WRONG STRING JESUS CHRIST

insxnityxx

This is just one massive train wreck

snow-anne

String players can be a bit high-strung.

princezane-deactivated20151205

y’all need to cellout

nomadisasnomadwas

We all need to calm down before this gets violin-t

odins-nose-deactivated20141228

Strings

unclechirrut-deactivated2017040

thank you for your contribution

lesbianshepard

i kinda feel bad for oedipus b/c everyone assumes he chose to fuck his mom when in fact he went out of his way to avoid it. he left his hometown and distanced himself from his parents because he was afraid he would somehow get tricked into fucking his mom. everything could have been avoided if his adopted parents told him he was adopted.

lesbianshepard

someone: oedipus was fucked up like who fucks their own mother??? fucking weirdo.

me: it’s not his fault! he didn’t know!

lesbianshepard

also the point of the myth is supposed to show how despite your best efforts no mortal can thwart fate but also? what the fuck? the whole thing was an oracle telling laius that his son was going to murder him and fuck his wife. that shit came out of nowhere. he didn’t offend the gods or anything. they just decided for no reason other than the world is fucked up sometimes.

lesbianshepard

i have been informed that oedipus’ dad, laius, did in fact bring a curse upon himself for kidnapping and raping king pelop’s son chrysippus.

i stand by my stance that it’s still ridiculous to punish oedipus and jocasta for laius’s crimes. also why would the godss curse oedipus for fucking his mom when they tricked him into doing it in the first place? fucked up.

the-cheshire-cat-grin

You’re assuming the gods are ruled by logic and not by zeus nudging poseidon and saying “hey you know what would be so fucking funny”

fangirltothefullest

This is so accurate

gaiusthegenius

did u guys ever watch the BBC drama “Atlantis” where the main character is a modern guy who accidentally travels back in time to Ancient Greece

and tbh it’s full of him having moments where he realises this is a myth

like this woman comes to him and asks for help because her husband is trying to kill her baby so he helps her smuggle the baby out of the city to be taken in by another family and the other family ask the baby’s name and she says “Oedipus” and the guy is like

oh fuck

and then he meets a girl called Medusa and the whole time is just like shit shit shit then she goes missing and they track her to a cave and he is like “guys this is gonna sound weird but does anyone have a mirror”

BEST MOMENT is he meets a guy who says “Hi I’m Pythagoras” and he blurts out “THE TRIANGLE GUY” and Pythagoras is just HEART EYES like “YES I LOVE TRIANGLES HOW DID YOU KNOW”

crybourg

Oh my god this is a good post

mando-lore

How can you not mention that in that series Pythagoras is gay and Icarus is his lover?? fuckn died when I found out

vang0bus

gameshow called 'pride or prejudice' in which the contestants are presented with a gay joke and have to guess if it was made by a queer person or a homophobe

e-the-village-cryptid

the contestants are all vaguely liberal straight people who are desperately uncomfortable with the entire concept

friendlyfatigue

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

asleepyteen

linguini is the only millennial character ever written correctly

afairfight-moved-deactivated201

“i don’t like one direction. they’re so gay,” i say. my fellow single heterosexual bros erupt in applause. i receive 50 Man points and level up to become the Manliest of Men. i’m so original and creative. what a sick burn.

ampervadasz

allatorguard

Insurance fraud

bikerboyfriend

smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021

hes acting like the monkey thats getting barked at...

pyropotter

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

everythingfox

Khan and Kara

politicsoflanguage

In a room full of non-native speakers, ‘there isn’t any chance of understanding’. It might be their language, but the message is often lost

“A lot of native speakers are happy that English has become the world’s global language. They feel they don’t have to spend time learning another language,” says Chong.

“But… often you have a boardroom full of people from different countries communicating in English and all understanding each other and then suddenly the American or Brit walks into the room and nobody can understand them.”

The non-native speakers, it turns out, speak more purposefully and carefully, typical of someone speaking a second or third language. Anglophones, on the other hand, often talk too fast for others to follow, and use jokes, slang and references specific to their own culture, says Chong. In emails, they use baffling abbreviations such as ‘OOO’, instead of simply saying that they will be out of the office.

“The native English speaker… is the only one who might not feel the need to accommodate or adapt to the others,” she adds.

lierdumoa

I’ve been thinking about this post all day, and the article glosses over one important detail. All of the “native English speakers” the article mentions belong to the same niche demographic: white collar/corporate professionals

English corporate speak is it’s own fucked up dialect.

It’s so incomprehensible and exclusionary that even a native English speaker with a master’s degree in English will have difficulty parsing it. Trust me when I say that nobody who isn’t a business major knows what the fuck “synergy” means.

And the jargon’s just half the problem. The other half is the gross overuse of hobby-specific expressions and analogies.

Go to most corporate offices and you’ll be bombarded with sports analogies that only make sense to someone who spends all their free time watching ESPN.

I tracked down this quote I read in a tumblr post years ago:

“I remember working with a law school in which white men heavily dominated the faculty. They used lots of sports metaphors (doing an end run, Monday morning quarterbacking, and so on), with legal jargon thrown in for good measure. I suggested that this was not a particularly welcoming trait in their school, that in fact it was sexist, but they paid little attention. I made my point by speaking for about five minutes in dressmaking terms: putting a dart in here, a gusset there, cutting the budget on the bias so it would be more flexible, using a peplum to hide a course that might be controversial. The women in the room laughed; the men did not find it humorous….Language is power, make no mistake about it. It is used to include and exclude and to keep people and systems in their places.”

- Frances E. Kendall, Understanding White Privilege

My point is,

This kind of poor communication probably shouldn’t be blamed on monolingualism alone. It’s most certainly made worse by an exclusionary and elitist work culture.

You’ll probably encounter far fewer communication issues talking to a cashier at a tourist trap than you will talking to a lawyer or a stockbroker.

wattpadfic-deactivated20170213

me: *clicks a settings menu*

my family: love having a tech expert in the house :)

dinkywinks

this scene from the goes wrong show where they cast two different people as the head and hunky, semi-nude body of the same character during a live theatre production haunts my every waking moment

gaysemiotics

Now THIS is physical comedy

babyanimalgifs

idk about you guys but I think this is the best video to ever exist

posted by: @gekiomi

keyblack-hl

HIS NAME IS MAMESUKE. THAT’S LIKE CALLING A DOG “BEANBOY”

nevaehtyler

She did THAT

mariposa-nena-deactivated201911

why are y'all surprised her father said that tho… that’s exactly what the norm is for our religion, anything else is extremism or false ideologies pushed onto our women by ignorant men who wish to control women.

badgyal-k-deactivated20190901

^^^

name-spelled-backwards-deactiva

Notice how her dad asked her if something happened cuz he knows there’s people like this who harass young Muslim girls. If Muslims wanna take their hijab off a lot of the time it’s cuz they’re trying to escape islamophobia not islam

timetraveller29

This needs to spread so far and wide…

ofbooksandstardust

Spread this. please.

local-shedtool-deactivated20210

true true. alot of people think Islam is a very oppressive and strict religion when in reality it it very leniet and simply teaches a way of life. When Trump banned Muslims, many Muslims considered shaving their beards and women thought about taking off their hijab. and when France banned niqabs, ignorant men were like “no women have to wear it” but ive read the Quran multiple times and it actually says that if your life is in danger then you have the permission to do those things. and the Quran even says that if you are starving and the only meat available is Pork, then you are allowed to eat it to save urself. It also says that if people from another religion force you to denouce your religion by threating to kill you then you are allowed to do so, if it means saving ur life. Islam isnt uptight and oprresive like yall think. Its a guide on how to live life the easiest way