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Today's Document
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
tumblr dot com
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
$LAYYYTER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

oozey mess

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almost home

Origami Around
Sade Olutola
todays bird

PR's Tumblrdome

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Janaina Medeiros
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@essjayel999
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Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!
I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day
The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.
Yeah that checks out.
What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?
Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.
Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.
While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.
Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.
Painter: Aw...
Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔
Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?
Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.
Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.
Candysseia: And where did he come from?
Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.
Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?
Pericles: *hands him papyrus*
Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!
To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.
Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).
phineas and ferb heritage post
i want to do a painting of a tiger taking a bath to put in a bathroom (bathroom-themed bathroom) and to this end i made a little maquette out of clay and i suspect this will scope creep into having both a painting and sculpture of a tiger or perhaps only a sculpture of a tiger. if i do both should they be displayed together or separately
Tiger maquette by the way 🐅
Working on cutting out a large piece of wood to do the painting on, which is a constraint that will either be really fun or really annoying. Maybe both
Wood primed and underpainted and sketch transferred mostly by cutting it out in different chunks and tracing around them. Stripes to be determined. Nobody let me work on this again for at least two weeks
The finished Ms. Tigers
You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.
Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌
Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.
I mean this with all due respect:
You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.
Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.
Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.
If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.
You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.
Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer
Realizing that I am not employing enough of my free will to become a nuisance at work
Me watching this:
I’m not letting this rot in the tags
this is, without a doubt, the funniest headline and photo combo i’ve ever seen
By ‘egg producers’, I choose to imagine they mean just a flock of disappointed British birds staring glumly at a phone.
Fixed it
well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better
i am at a complete loss as to how to adequately express to you how much this cat throws up yeah
Went to the grocery store with my kindergartener. We weighed some bananas: 2 pounds even. We weighed a watermelon: 4 pounds even. We weighed some mangos: a little over 1 pound. We weighed the watermelon AND the bananas: 6 pounds even.
“That’s funny” said the child “because 2+4=6 and two pounds and four pounds is six pounds. It’s like the same as math!”
“What happens if you add 6+1?”
“SEVEN”
“What if we put one pound of mangos on the scale?” <mangos added>
“IT’S THE SAME!!”
“OK, what’s 7-4?”
“Three?”
“What if we take the four pound watermelon off the scale?” <watermelon removed>
“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”
This guy's illusions are great
I like to think this is the story of him breaking out of prison and then going on an extended spree of mischief
children heed my warning. one day your body’s check engine light will come on and demand that you start eating so many vegetables and whole grains. do not ignore it.
I want to explain this a bit more since 'health' and 'biology' are loosely speaking, special interests of mine and also what I went to school for.
People SAY that your health 'suddenly' starts to decline in your 30s but that's not really a good way to put it A) bc that's not really accurate and B) bc it frames this decline as something inherent and unavoidable, which does nothing to convince you that you have some agency about this.
So I'm going to explain this in LOOSE NON-SCIENTIFIC language:
When you are an infant or child, you are actively growing. Nature is throwing tons of new cells into you bc your body needs to BUILD BUILD BUILD. What you're able to do, eat and heal from is all largely dictated by this-- for example little kids often LOVE sweet foods or dairy-like foods and are relatively less interested in anything else. This is bc their body is running on HIGH all the time since building body parts is very energetically intensive. They can eat a fistful of sugarcubes and burn them off in an hour. Ask me how I know.
When you are a YOUNG ADULT you are actually still developing to a secondary extent, but your bones and such are fused and now that development goes into solidifying the structure and also finetuning its reproductive capabilities and features-- these, too, are HIGHLY energy consumptive when they first come online. Nature is STILL, thus, throwing tons of energy and new cells your way hoping you'll do something cool with them. You regenerate very quickly, and recover from harm rapidly-- But please note: swift recovery from harm is not absence of harm. This most relates to the consumption of 'junk food' and alcohol-- many people say they could 'eat whatever they wanted and nothing would happen' when they're in their 20s or that they could go out drinking and 'not be affected'. You were affected. You didn't notice.
Once everything has come online you go into maintenance mode. Nature stops throwing excess cells and energy your way bc you don't need that-- your body is yours and you are now responsible for maintaining it...hopefully with what you learned by experience in your 20s. IF YOU WERE NOT PAYING ATTENTION, you did not learn this, and are in for a surprise in your 30s bc your 'free recovery' subscription has ended. Recovery and maintenance- processes that are constant in the human body- now cost MINERALS & ELECTRICITY. You can go into DEBT now, and that debt will come in the form of joints that pop, inability to recover well, lowered immune function, and feeling like shit.
This debt accrues interest RAPIDLY once you hit 36-- the age of around 36 to 46 or so is a kind of reckoning stage where Nature assesses how well you've managed your body and you will be SWIFTLY downgraded if the result is you were just winging it.
So how do you build this account? 2 main things ( LOOSELY SPEAKING this is so not 100% scientific but I have to be general here): MINERALS -- you get these from eating well, mostly. You might want to take supplements based on your unique needs. But you need Minerals & Vitamins (i'm lumping these two together) bc they are the chemical building blocks (currency) your body uses to rebuild and fix up cells. ELECTRICITY is- again loosely speaking- having the proper chemical voltage throughout your body. This 'voltage' drops when you don't move enough, or when you're dehydrated. The building and repairing process your body wants to do may have the materials (minerals and vitamins) but there's not enough power in the factory, or the AC isn't working and the workers are overheating and can't work well. To fix this, drink lots of water and MOVE AND STRETCH your body. The action within your muscles and bones GENERATES ENERGY and it keeps your cells happy.
So the thing is, it's not that you suddenly find yourself taking damage after 30+. You were taking damage the whole time. You're just kept from really feeling it bc you're young and full of extra juice and given time to figure things out.
But at some point Nature expects you to do that, and you will pay if you don't.
Best to start out giving a shit, even if none of your friends think you're cool, even if you get called a 'health nut' bc you will still be able to frolick at 45, 50, probably so on while everyone who said it was dumb to have 'balanced meals' shares memes about how they wake up feeling like shit every day.
Sidenote don't let our shitty fatphobic society obscure the fact that it's okay to care about what you eat. Counting calories or being preoccupied with physical perfection is a sad way to relate to your body BUT that doesn't mean that paying attention to your diet AT ALL is bad. Baby, bath water, etc.
My goat ranting has been justified for this day.
your 'free recovery' subscription has ended
smh. can't own shit in this economy
Btw, this also goes for things like ergonomics. You may have never needed good sitting posture, or lumbar support, or proper typing technique, or a monitor riser, or good shoe insoles, or... but the thing is, you did, though. You were taking damage the whole time, you were just healing so fast that you didn't notice. Back problems and repetitive strain injuries aren't inevitable in your 30s – but they're pretty inevitable if you go on treating your body as badly as you could get away with treating it in your 20s.
This is a good way to put it. I am 39. My kids are 9 and 7. We often joke with other parents about the things our kids can get away with, physically, because "they don't have real bones yet" but it's not really a joke they are literally growing new bones! All the time! And we adults have to maintain the bones we have.
The electricity stuff is no joke I literally feel different if I don't get enough potassium/magnesium. Trying different foods that are high in certain minerals/vitamins and seeing how you react is a useful thing to do. I need more of those than an average person, and found that out by experimenting with my diet.
Getting enough protein and fat is also really important for recovery and absorbing nutrients from what you eat.
I love love love all the analogies given because they're a great way to communicate the ideas in a way that makes sense.
Yeah we gotta do maintenance now or else we're gonna have a bad time.
Sorry, PETA, I would 100% eat a T-Rex.
T.Rex would absolutely eat a chicken
A chicken would eat a T Rex, if it could get away with it.
Me, a chicken and a trex deciding whos gonna eat who
@mildateo
The clock is fucking ticking
not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here
reblog heavy
this feels like dragging around a mummified corpse thats dressed as a clown
this is gonna be AI in a bit hopefully
ok so
everyone knows about this meme, right?
but does anyone else know the woman who made the food? no? time to educate!
This is “Mother Mary”, the owner of Blackberry’s mother.
She made all the cakes for the restaurant while it was open. Chef Gordon Ramsay tried her red velvet cake, and spoke this meme-able line:
He then called Mary over, complimented her food, and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Look how happy she was to hear that!!!
anyways, I hope she has been able to continue her love for baking since the restaurant closed down.
For these who don’t know: The restaurant she worked at closed down but she left before that and opened her own bakery, that’s apparently very successful!