(it's me, i'm the dog) The resident blog of someone who really should be doing better things that sit around all day. Casually NSFW, flip-flops between horny and enlightened by the gods like a marble machine
canary, fafnir, i respond to either. my special interests include:
warframe
EXA_PICO (both ar tonelico and surge concerto)
twisted wonderland... kind of
various furry media, as i am furry trash myself if some of the reblogs weren't obvious enough
persona (sometimes)
metaphor refantazio (sometimes)
picayune dreams
path of achra
kingdom hearts
sonic (sometimes)
splatoon (sometimes)
little tail bronx (my beloved)
project moon
monster hunter
final fantasy
guilty gear
whatever else my hyperfixation has or will latch onto, hard to remember as i write this
no seriously i am looking through my image gallery looking for which memes i actually feel affinity for in the images
since i tend to bury my own posts under mass reblogs, and i do kinda care about people actually seeing the stuff i write, here's some tags:
#writing == "As the name suggests, all the literary-themed posts and reblogs I make. Most of my actual posts fall under this tag."
#concept overflow == "When an idea gets too urgent to contain, it has to overflow somewhere. This tag is that somewhere, filled with both half-thoughts and important meanderings to the accompanying tags. Almost invariably part of #writing posts."
#twisted tonelico: mage-rider wonder == "My Twisted Wonderland x EXA_PICO crossover 'fic', inspired by a certain someone else's Twisted Tonelico series. Achronal format. Follows various moments in Yuuki Gyenshire, a male Reyvateil (Reyvaroid), as he plays the role of Twisted Wonderland's Yuu. Much tokusatsu punching and Song Magic shenanigans ensue."
#planetarium mobile == "I guess you could call it an original fiction. Linear format. Follows the journey of a freshly-rebirthed dullahan as he climbs out of a deep abyss, the journey of some freedom fighters as they chip away at a digital demiurge, and the strange conversations they have over text messages. I intend to use pieces of this in a Fabula Ultima setting."
#naxunn frey == "A fiction dear to my heart, the first one I ever refined. Currently infodumps and possibly achronal format. Worldbuilding about Naxunn (na-shun-n), a half-baked world in the conceptual sense, and the people who live there. One day, you might see the moment when they finally reclaim the infinite horizon..."
Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex
Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief
Iâm sorry but the THOUGHT that has been put into this, I actually CANâTâ
The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.
And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the kingâs line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they havenât!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine âwhat the fuck??â, I know of it not.
But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbethâs descent into madness, Othelloâs realisation of Desdemonaâs âbetrayalâ) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Nightâs Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???
Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so Iâm going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.
The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, itâs going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.
This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the âcommon peopleâ of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.
Now, I doubt any of this is actually grounded analysis in any way, shape or form, but if someone else can take this to the extremes of writing a Shakespearean scene, why can I not analyse it as such? And where else to do so than Tumblr?
Ranking Every Large Monster in Monster Hunter Rise by How Tasty I Think They Would Be:
A TIER - Delicious Tier. Monsters that are prized for their delicious meat. The tier reserved for luxury meats like foie gras, or wagyu beef.Â
Tetranodon [A+]
Luxurious, fatty, versatile, and convenient. These massive omnivorous amphibians cushion their ponderous weight with layers of marbled fat. Shanks are delicious spit-roasted over an open flame, or breaded and fried in their own drippings. Neck, and breasts are cubed for stew meat and stuffed back into the shell with herbs for pit baking. Butt and sirloin are slow-cooked in clay pots to reduce in their own fat like fine carnitas.Â
Jyuratodus [A]
These omnivorous filter-feeders are prized in-universe for their meat. Its bipedal stance but fishlike physiology imply a meat somewhere between salmon, catfish, and chicken. Denser thighs are cut into steaks and smoked. The more muscular sirloin is butterflied and deep-fried like catfish filets. The fatty brisket would be the finest cut, reserved for sushi.Â
Lagombi [A-]
The already-delicious rabbit, evolved for long-pursuit sub-arctic grazing. Powerful hip joints cushioned by layers of cold-resistant fat. The lagombi would produce a brisket fit for the pinnacles of sephardic cuisine, basted in honey, orange juice, prunes, and apricots. Shoulder and rump should be sliced thin, basted with herbs and oil, and used for gyros.Â
(Long Post Ahead)
B TIER - Ordinary Tier. Monsters that can be eaten, and eaten well. The tier of humble, everyday meats like chicken, pork, and beef.Â
Great Izuchi / Great Wroggi / Great Baggi [B+]
The chicken of monster hunter ecology. When butchered and clipped of their poison sacs, claws and feet, I can imagine these beasts whole roasted like a holiday turkey, or spit roasted like rotisserie chicken. Given their tails and posture, I imagine they taste slightly oily and gamey, closer to pheasant or game hen than chicken, but still wholly within the realm of chicken.Â
Kulu-Ya-Ku [B+]Â
A leaner, more agile cousin of the great Izuchi. Similar to Cornish game hen, their limbs produce less meat, but their bodies are traditionally eaten stuffed with herbs, and basted with fat during baking. Flesh is similar to waterfowl, oily, slightly dense, but a sponge for flavor. Not fatty enough to fire-roast, but careful baking can produce a delicious Kulu-Ya-Ku a l'orange.Â
Aknosom [B]
Would be placed higher on this list were it not for the complication of having to butcher and remove the flame sac. Specialty cuisines would be developed for cooking a butchered aknosom in its own fluids. Slightly more fat than the Kulu-Ya-Ku, but I would prefer stewing, perhaps an aknosom vindaloo.Â
Anjanath [B]
A large monster, armored with dense fat rather than scales. Two caveats: Anjanath eat just about anything, so the taste of their meat would heavily depend on the anjanath's diet, and their flame sac is notably more complex than many other fire-breathing monsters. If properly grazed on offal and vegetables scrap, their meat has a texture somewhere between beef and pork. The top sirloin is especially prized, but notably difficult to acquire.Â
Diabolos [B-]
Most of the meat on these massive, armored predators is far too dense to be worth eating. However, their fatty brisket and thighs are delicious after significant, significant slow-roasting. A favorite for BBQ.Â
Rathalos / Rathain [B-]
These large, agile predators are eaten more for their abundance than their taste. Rath meat is similar to horse in texture; stringy, sparse, and of variable taste depending on their hosts diet. Most chefs get around the unpleasant texture by grinding cuts into hamburger or sausage filling, and spicing heavily.Â
C TIER - Uncommon Tier. Monsters who can be eaten, but are likely not oneâs first choice. The tier of uncommon meats such as rabbit, crocodile, and venison.Â
Royal Ludroth [C+]
The neck sacs are unpleasantly spongy, and taste of pus if butchered incorrectly. The meat itself is passable, but similar to gator, dense, fishy, chewy if improperly cooked. The choicest cuts are the tail and sirloin, ideal for gumbo. Skillful chefs can produce a wonderful griddle-cooked Ludroth-mac-n-cheese.Â
Somnacanth [C+]
Surprisingly difficult to butcher. These creatures feature a complex endocrine system that constantly threatens to ruin their frankly sparse and oily meat. Skilled chefs marinate tail and belly cuts in a sweet and savory sauce, to produce a result strangely similar to pineapple marinated fish, or somnacanth al-pastor.Â
Almurdron [C]
Nearly inedible, but can produce delicacies when butchered properly. Their serpentine bodies are extremely muscular, and feature a weaponized excretory tract that can make the meat foul and actively dangerous to consume if butchered improperly. When prepared correctly, most of the animal is discarded, save for the sheathe of subcutaneous fat and tissue which can be used as a sausage casing. Ground almurdron offal sausage is a common feed for domesticated carnivores, but is occasionally enjoyed by humans. The discerning chef may long-cure the meat, producing a rare and exotic cold-cut enjoyed similarly to a rattlesnake sausage.Â
Basarios [C]
Tough, dense, extraordinarily difficult to butcher. The sheer amount of effort involved in butchering these creatures for consumption often outstrips their culinary benefits. When they are eaten, they are drained by the neck and packed in clay for pit baking. Even then, the meat is spongy and gamey, not unlike raw calamari or rocky mountain oysters.Â
Barroth [C]
Similar to a great Izuchi, but tougher, chewier, less available, and far more difficult to butcher. Even skilled butchers and captive ranchers have been unable to remove the faint muddy taste from the meat. A tragedy, in that they are almost tasty in so many ways. Â
Bishaten [C-]
Of questionable ethicality. Meat has a taste smack dab between pork and chicken, but very lean and slightly gamey. Generally does not have enough meat to be considered worth hunting for consumption, and their diet is varied enough to make the taste a gamble. Occasionally, the fruits they collect may ferment in their pouches. A bishaten persimmon wine reduction is considered a rare delicacy, but generally requires cultivation in captivity.Â
Rajang [C-]
Skirting the lower end of edibility is the rajang. Meat is leathery, gamey, and chewy, like a steak that worked out before the slaughter. The organ systems that maintain their extraordinary muscle strength may even continue to hold a charge after death, and butchers must be careful to ground the beast before applying any metal tools. Requires cooking so slow that one generally has time to hunt two more beasts in the meantime.Â
D TIER - Delicacy Tier. Monsters that probably should not be eaten, are only partially edible, or require special preparation. The tier of snake, fish eyes, chicken feet, and most edible insects.Â
Pukei-Pukei [D+]
Proper butchery of these animals requires extreme skill. Well made Pukei-Pukei pate is treated as a rite-of-passage for aspiring master chefs. A single Pukei-Pukei will only produce 2lbs of fatty cheek, and a single mistake could flood the meat with its deadly toxins. The meat itself is delicate, fatty, and flavorful, akin to a lovechild of white fish and high-quality chicken.Â
Tobi-Kadachi [D+]
A Tobi-Kadachiâs spines are actually articulated electrosensory organs, akin to insect mandibles. Each follicle is surrounded by a powerful muscle sphincter, and loops into the creatureâs endocrine system. Butchery is an exhausting process of plucking and deveining, all for subcutaneous back tissue that is underwhelming and stringy. Ideal serving would be finely ground and baked into a pie.Â
Goss Harag [D+]
These creatures are not hunted for their meat. Due to a unique quirk of the goss-haragâs sebaceous glands, the creatureâs adipose deposits gain a unique flavor. Sufficiently mature Goss Harag lard has an herbal, almost minty, flavor. Its culinary use is divisive, a favorite to some, and reviled by others. Their meat is leathery, foul, and dense. Their livers are sweet, and excellent source of vitamin C when eaten raw, but few culinarians are so adventurous.Â
Barioth [D+]
Meat is overwhelmingly dense, stringy, and run through with the creatureâs jellylike blubber. Some cultures do consume the liver, heart, and testicles, as a source of essential vitamins in sub-arctic environments, but these require skillful butchery and unorthodox techniques to prepare. Offal is sometimes ground and compacted into a baloney-like loaf that is surprisingly good on sandwiches, or stir-fried with eggs.
Tigrex [D]
Tigrex meat is so dense that it cannot be butchered along traditional lines. Ordinarily fatty cuts like breasts and thighs are akin to eating grilled steel wire. However, the lungs, diaphragm, and pelvic muscles are edible after a few days of slow-cooking. Even then, they are quite dense. It is meat that demands a 24 hour pit bake, the realm of BBQ chefs with an experimental streak, or more patience than sense.
Ibushi / Narwa [D]
Bizarre biology and sheer rarity make these creatures a true challenge for the aspiring game chef. Those privileged enough to dine on Narwa meat have described it as fishy and gritty, similar to crab with notes of ozone. Efforts have been made into the production of Ibushi caviar, but none have since been successful.Â
Bazelgeuse [D]
Inedible. Even attempting butchery can cost an overconfident chef their hand. However, their unfertilized eggs are delicious, a bomb of umami and natural capcasin. Ideal for Huevos Rancheros or about ten savory omelets.Â
Arzuros [D-]
When raised in captivity, on a purely vegetarian diet of herbs, honey, and berries, their meat can be edible. Given that Arzuros are an omnivorous predator, the ethicality of this is contested. Even when properly farmed, arzuros meat is lumpy, unpleasantly textured, and lacking in any distinct flavor. All of the time, controversy, and resources required to produce a single Arzuros steak would be better spent on Tetranodon.Â
Nargacuga [D-]
Only edible in that it can be physically consumed. Nargacuga meat is relegated to fringe cuisine, the purview of dubious half-magical medicinal stews and rumors during famine years. The meat is unpleasant, somehow bland, foul, dry, and oily at the same time. Only theoretically edible when mixed with other meats, and heavily spiced. Additionally, the creatureâs adrenal secretions can be actively dangerous in more than trace amounts. Improper butchery can make the meat hazardous to consume.Â
Chameleos [D-]
Most of these creatures are inedible. The biological mechanisms that facilitate their light-bending abilities are not understood by zoologists, much less chefs. Their meat is sparse and leathery, similar to ludroth, but is also to cause a dangerous allergic reaction in more than 50% of consumers. The only part of the Chameleos known to be safe is their eyes, which are candied and served with sweet rice as a dessert delicacy.Â
Mizutsune [D-]
Tastes of soap. Only reached D rank because roughly 10% of the population bears a genetic quirk that makes Mizutsune meat taste like cilantro.Â
F TIER - Inedible. Monsters that should not be eaten, cannot be eaten, or are actively dangerous to eat.Â
Kushala Daora [F+]
With a skin of iron-laced keratin, the Kushala Daora is more fit to be used as a grill than placed upon it. The meat is dense, overwhelmingly bloody, and riven with grits of iron oxide. Tastes like iron shavings kneaded into leather.Â
Khezu [F+]
It is said in-lore that many hunters have tried, and failed, to make the Khezu palatable. These giant leeches feature a complex digestive and endocrine system more useful for medical applications than cuisine. Escargot is already unpleasant. Even stir fried like chinese periwinkle snails, Khezu meat is far too muscular to eat. Tastes like an art eraser soaked in cough syrup.Â
Rakna-Kadaki [F+]
Edible only in the sense that it can be physically consumed. Where the fire-breathing organs of other organisms can be removed during butchery, insect respiration is done through spiracles in the carapace. Spider meat already tastes of pus and rot, but the rakna-kadaki features overtones of sulphur and gasoline.Â
Zingore [F]
A large, muscular, agile pursuit predator with biological mechanisms for electroconductivity. Wolflike predators already taste of gristle and death, but the Zingoreâs electrochemical organ system taints its meat with an overwhelming flavor of bleach and battery acid. Meat is highly toxic to humans.Â
Teostra [F]
A large, muscular pursuit predator known for attacking caravans to eat gunpowder. The meat is stringy, gristly, sulfurous, and smells of rotting eggs. Impossible to cook, as applying any sort of heat will cause the meat to rapidly combust. Tastes of old rope bathed in a sulfur vent.Â
Valstrax [F-]
A heavily armored, extraordinarily agile aerial pursuit predator with a secondary respiration system to facilitate jet propulsion. Meat is stringy, rubbery, chemically astringent with overwhelming notes of crude oil and smog. Biological fluids are a chemical accelerant, and risk exploding if ignited.Â
Magnamalo [F-]
The only thing that could make this monster edible would be slow-roasting in the whole shell. This should never be attempted. Given its purple coloration, the Magnamaloâs secondary respiration system exhales what is likely a complex and highly volatile lithium phosphate. Meat is dense, gristly, tastes of battery acid and spoiled wine. Risks exploding if ignited, oxygenated, or introduced to an electrical charge.Â
Volvidon [F-]
Indescribably foul. The volvidonâs digestive tract produces both a paralytic venom, and a predator deterrent in the form of toxic flatulence. Consumption will risk paralysis and uncontrollable vomiting, risking a horrific death by asphyxiation.Â
christians: what could possibly be in that evil bookâŚ. what horrible spells does it hold within its pages⌠what black magic does it propagateâŚ.
the talmud: so if you send your kid off to Torah school but he has a really hard time with it, send him back home and go to school yourself instead so that once youâve learned Torah you can go and teach your entire family. in fact, once some rabbi went out to go to Torah school and do just this, and on his way he came through this town and he asked if he could stay in the synagogue for the night. and of course the rabbi said yes but weird enough no one was in the streets and something was kind of off about the whole place. so our hero went into the synagogue only to find a seven headed demon just hanging out in the library!! our hero is terrified and prays super hard and because of this the demon is vanquished. he goes back to the rabbi and is like âdude wtfâ and the rabbi was like âlisten i know this is unorthodox but youâre well known for how good at praying you are and this demon has been terrorizing us for well over a month and we were desperate. we knew you wouldnât dieâ and the guy was like âi didnât know that!â who do you think is in the right? hm. tough question. anyway. what were we talking about again? oh right. what if you make your sukkah doorway 1/7 of a cubit too short. would that be fucked up or what
#the hip pop⌠the cigarettes in the hatâŚ#how many kids from pre-electric refrigeration look suspiciously like this guy I wonderâŚ#POV: You are a bored housewife whose husband is constantly away on business trips and barely looks at you when he gets home#and this guy is rolling up to your house on like a weekly basis with a block of ice and his WWI thousand yard stare
Historian finishing a dissertation on the ice industry here. For once, I am not here to take away your joy!Â
âOh no, the ice man is too sexy and heâs going to fuck my wife while Iâm not homeâ was a legit moral panic for DECADES. So much so that if you were fancy, you could get an icebox built into your wall so the dirty, sexy ice man didnât have to come inside your house with your delicate, impressionable wife.Â
This pic is going in the diss if I can chase down the correct citation for it.
âď¸Solar House Shortsâď¸
Remember when they put Jupiter back on top for number of moons? Turns out Saturn had something to say to thatâŚ
Speedpaint
EXPLANATION:
On January 31st of this year, astronomers identified 12 new moons orbiting around Jupiter, pushing its count past Saturnâs for a total of 92 moons. Around 4 months later, astronomers then recognized a whopping total of 62 new moons for Saturn, making it the only planet to have more than 100 moons at a total of 145.Â
 Jupiter walks up to Saturn at his desk and brags to Saturn about his 12 new moons. Saturn stares back and snaps his fingers, with multiple news headlines stating that 62 new moons have been discovered orbiting the planet. Saturn then walks off with S/2020 S 7, one of the new moons, guiding them to their orientation. S/2020 S 7 mentions that he goes by the name of Stoto, but seeing as how the name is based on the S/2020 part of their designation, Saturn declines, stating that there are 10 moons that start with S/2020.
sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too
ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about
