I Do Archery Since Punching People Is Frowned Upon

Finding your true self is not a question of "whom," but of "wuddup bitches"

[kelbremdusk]

CRAB!!!!

[nudityandnerdery]

The prophesied day has come.

[nudityandnerdery]

After a long time in purgatory, Tumblr has finally allowed me to appeal this post and freed it from its unjust imprisonment! Truly, the time for crab is upon us!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thinking bout owls

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this owl looks like it’s been cornered at a party & trapped in an uncomfortable conversation

this owl is a cat that stole a pair of wings

the world is big and this owl is tiny

this is a baby barn owl and yes they really do waddle around like that!

owls…

[peacefulandtranquil]

whenever you say youve been thinking about something its either a concentrated shot of dopamine or nightmare fuel

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

owls!!!

[ceekari]

50% dopamine, 50% nopamine

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

50% dopamine, 50% nopamine

[liminalumi]

Going to your blog is like a coin toss except instead of heads or tails it’s blursed content or unspeakable horror beyond mortal understanding and this post landed on the edge of the coin

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"ew vultures are gross they eat dead things" what..... . ..what do u eat

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the notes just keep on giving

[i-am-an-angrylittlerayofsunshine]

At the zoo. Standing in front of the vultures, overheard a boy telling his little brother, those are eagles 🦅 they will snatch you up and take you back to feed their babies. The littlest brother was disturbed and holding the railing when his brother ran off to look elsewhere. He looked scared and looked at me. As his mother was chasing his brother down certain that this child would stay put without her.

I leaned on the railing for a moment and said “beautiful aren’t they? These are vultures, natures cleaning crew.”

He looked at me a bit puzzled.

“They aren’t going to feed me to their babies?”

“Nah,” I replied, “if you die then they will eat you,” looking fondly at the birds.

His mother returned in time to hear that final statement. Her gaze was daggers, until she heard her timid youngster telling his brother confidently.

“They aren’t eagles. Those are vultures, if you die they will eat you.”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"I killed another houseplant bc of executive dysfunction"

Mundane

Evokes helplessness

Kind of a bummer

"Plagued by demons as I am, my crops have withered yet again"

Powerful imagery

Frames you as a gothic protagonist

Emphasizes that you are hounded by demons

How fucking cool are demons???

[sovereignofsoup]

I'm sorry i was unable to reach the deadline in time, i struggled with executive dysfunction

___________________________Versus___________________________

Once again the living nightmares that assault my psyche prevented me from attaining my goal, my apologies dear friend, for even i cannot overcome such demons as these.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

There is a special spot reserved in my heart for Magnificent Frigatebirds. These fuckos are so regal, and they are also ENORMOUS, with a wingspan of up to 8 FEET.

The first time I saw one in person, my brain did a 10-second-reboot because oh neat a pterodactyl just flew overhead--waitwhatnow?

Again, these aerial monstrosities have a wingspan significantly longer than adult humans, and in the wild you'll most often encounter them circling high in the air above an ocean coast.

Which is why it was endlessly hilarious to me when I found out what the males look like close up.

My good bitch, I bruised at least three ribs laughing.

[blancabitchcraft]

[mornington-the-crescent]

[ach-seal-beag-gearr-deactivated]

*vibrating* it’s the cowboy witch poem it’s the cowboy witch poem it’s the cowboy witch poem

[normal-horoscopes]

Divine Hierarchy of Being

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

one of those generically cheerful Bless this Home (and all who enter) signs, but instead it says Memento Mori (remember that you must die)

[meekona]

so, i made a thing

[birdadjacent]

Not quite the same concept (sorry to add on), but this is the sign I have right inside my door

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fucking gorgeous

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

fellas……. do I dare take her hand? is that too forward?

[officialfist]

Oh my that is a little too forward

[pangur-and-grim]

fellas……… you were correct

[choodraws]

birthday tradition 🎂 cakes i’ve drawn on my birthday from 2018 to now

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[pedrropascal]

x

[killorbekillian]

Ryan: Did you ever try and summon Bloody Mary when you were a child?

Shane: No, it’s just bullshit.

Ryan: Not even as a child?

Shane: No, I was like, “That’s bullshit.”

Ryan: Did you ever have any kind of fun?

Shane: Yeah, I had a lot of fun; I ate worms.

Ryan: [Overlapping] Other than - other than getting…. What? Wh-what?

Shane: I ate, fuckin’ - I ate worms.

Ryan: Like Simba?

Shane: I ate worms, I ate bugs, I ate, uh, junebugs. I ate, um, cicadas. You ever eat ants?

Ryan: [Staring at Shane in silence]

[artfulwave]

MS Paint Pool

Source

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[carydorse]

You said it

[w4a72]

The Electric State by Simon Stålenhag

[mangomoth]

when i was a teenager and i learned about how light pollution and a certain billionare’s satellites obscure the night sky and all of its glory that humans have looked up and admired for hundreds of thousands of years, i always kept the mantra ‘they would steal even the skies from you’ hidden deep in my gut like a warning

but now i’m in my 20s and in the midst of a plague, having to watch corporate entities like space x and jeff bezos scramble for a piece of the infinite vastness of our universe while we’re all down expected to toil for their gains, live in an age of widespread sickness where we can’t be granted healing or rest without a profit, have every single piece of our lives cut up and dressed for sale like a butchered animal, from basic human needs to human expression. and now that same mantra comes to mind, but now instead of a cautionary warning it sits in my chest and my throat bc it has gone from a warning to a certainty. they will steal even the skies from you.

[sexhaver]

the only part of the internet worth salvaging are youtube comments under woodworking/blacksmithing videos written by boomer dads

[sexhaver]

this is what the internet was supposed to be for. where did we go so wrong?