[fandomlife-retiredblog]

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

I was away from tumblr for a while and now that I’m trying to come back I see that more than half of my followers are p*rn and spambot blogs and almost all the blogs I started following have changed urls and themes and interests that don’t match with mine. So. I’m retiring this account and have started a new one. If you want to keep up with me, follow me over here. I’ve remade fandomlife as a sideblog and will eventually start blogging fandom stuff once again over there, so, you know, follow that one too if you’re feeling plucky.

Keep in touch.

Or don’t. If not, hey! nice knowing you.

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

Self reblogging for the daytime crowd, in case anyone is curious.

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

I was away from tumblr for a while and now that I’m trying to come back I see that more than half of my followers are p*rn and spambot blogs and almost all the blogs I started following have changed urls and themes and interests that don’t match with mine. So. I’m retiring this account and have started a new one. If you want to keep up with me, follow me over here. I’ve remade fandomlife as a sideblog and will eventually start blogging fandom stuff once again over there, so, you know, follow that one too if you’re feeling plucky.

Keep in touch.

Or don’t. If not, hey! nice knowing you.

[loveinthemindpalace]

More fucky things...

Where was Ben’s 20 page monologue they were so excited for during comicon? 

Where was the scene Martin was uncomfortable to film, and had to do it alone? (it wasn’t Mary’s death scene cause other actors were present)

Why was John typing into a jpg file about a baby that wasn’t born yet?

Why did Lady Smallwood’s name change from Elizabeth to Alicia? 

Why in the hell did Mycroft let his sister who he KNOWS is a manipulative genius psychopath talk to another  manipulative genius psychopath?

Why all the water imagery that was never followed up on?

Why the glowing, sometimes black, skull painting?

Why constantly build Mary up as a villain, then have a half-arsed redemption arch? 

Why WHY do that Molly Hooper?

Why think a secret sibling would be ‘history making’ when it’s an over used, soap opera level trope?

Why would Amanda say an actor playing more than one character would be ‘ground breaking’ when orphan black, vampire dairies, Tyler Perry’s movies and soooo many others do the same thing?

WHY?? 

Something has to be up, this makes NO sense.

Edit: ALSO why this: “ Doesn’t matter who you really are” and “I know who you are” and “its about the legend and stories” When they’ve said OVER AND OVER it’s not a detective show, it’s a show about a detective???

@abouthetwofthem added some great points, so I’ll add them here so we can see!

Also, WHY don’t we know anything about John’s letter, or Sherlock’s recurring dream yet?

WHY did they introduce Hopkins, if she only had a secondary role in the first episode?

WHY did they make a reference to Irene Adler in TLD?

WHY did they credit Henry Knight’s actor and Irene’s actress if the first didn’t appear at all and the second was just mentioned?

WHY did they spread fake rumors about Colin Morgan being in the show and fake pictures of “young Mycroft” ’s actor (don’t know if you remember this, he was thin and had big ears)?

WHY did they use Eurus’ metaphor of the “little girl on the plane” in such a twisted way? How could she be the little girl and herself at the same time?

And WHY “it’s all about the wallpaper”?

[loveinthemindpalace]

More from  astudyinkink

Who built the fake 4 walls? Who bought and painted the dog bowl? Who painted the walls red in Sherringford? Who was doing the little girl’s voice Who was pouring water down John’s well on command? Who built the fake entrance/exits inside a maximum-security cell? Who custom ordered a coffing with I Love You on it and had it delivered to a prison that no one knows exist Who printed and pasted all the pictures inside of Fake Room? Who sat down and actually edited the Moriarty video into reaction gifts Who made a button to turn the lights red in various rooms for no reason

From @consultingcaitlin

So Moriarty didn’t start messing with Sherlock’s life until five years ago, at Eurus’ behest.

So who the hell killed Carl Powers?

And if it wasn’t Moriarty, how did he get hold of a pair of shoes that would have otherwise been thrown out twenty five years ago?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

What about the caves they built / filmed for setlock E3 that they were so proud of?

What about the Mint and Mustard filming from E1?

Why introduce Culverton at all if he’s not even going to be a threat for all three episodes, like CAM and Moriarty were?

Why introduce and exposit the importance of a memory drug if they weren’t going to do anything with it?

WHAT ABOUT JOHN BEING CHAINED IN THE WELL BUT CAN APPARENTLY CLIMB A ROPE?!

John’s general OOC-ness the entire season.

The ridiculous Hollywood-esque gunshot for Mary

“Vatican Cameos” and Sherlock just ignores it?

WHY EURUS IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN THEY HAD ESTABLISHED MARY AS A VILLIAN IN S3?

Why is Mycroft not wondering why the fuck there’s a clown in his house?

Why is EVERYONE so OOC??

Why the HELL does Mary get the last word in the entire thing?!?! That’s bullshit.

How did everyone and everything survive the explosion??

My head hurts.

[love-in-mind-palace]

WTF IS WRONG WITH THE GLASS PANEL OF EURUS’ CELL??!!

also wtf is wrong with the whole episode

[987r93gr7r-deactivated20250803]

Where is that scene in the disco hall?

Why mention multiple times that marrying off watson to mary was acd’s biggest mistake and then give her such a huge part?

Why does Sherrinford have secret doors like the HH Holmes Murder Hospital?

Where is amanda’s scene with lady smallwood?

Why did they film that car scene in the tunnel with Sherlock at the wheel when you can see in the bts that they filmed the car ride in a studio?

What about the shark graffiti?

What about Ben and Martin’s MI6 building scene?

Why did we never even see the Ring of Mary’s past?

Where is the cab scene they filmed next to North Gower street?

Where is the 125 year old spoiler?

Why add the line about loving acronyms?

Why make Smallcroft a thing and not mentioning it again at all?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Oh, Also:

Why “I will burn the heart out of you” and then make the entire series about Sherlock’s pining for John, when in the end it didn’t even fucking matter?

And why all the repeating scenes and recycled music and lines from past episodes?

And why the post-it note with “John’s alibi?” on it?

Why characterise Mary as a villain since her introduction and link her to Moriarty if you’re just going to fuck over her character development?

Why even develop the characters at all, in that case??

Why stop the blog completely? Because they knew that the last episode was going to be a wash.

I’m just so confused.

[keagan-ashleigh]

What was the point for Eurus to flirt with John and do nothing with it ever again?

Why did she shot him with a tranquillizer just to let him go instantly?

How the hell Sherlock thought building up a scenery and hiring actors was more effective than just say “I know I have a secret sister because she shot John, now explain”?

How did Eurus know about Sherlock’s dreams?

How can Mary send dvds from the grave so Sherlock and John receive them at very convenient moment?

Why were the dvds titled “Miss me” and “Miss you”, which is Moriarty’s and Eurus’ brand?

How the fuck Eurus could move three unconscious men from an isolated island to their old family mall - two places obviously not geographically close one from the other? And then place each of them in separate places?

How did she chained John? Did she carried unconscious John down the well and chained him herself? And if so, why isn’t she wet?

How can Sherlock forgive her so easily for the murder of his childhood friend and for having traumatized him? Just because she needed a hug? wtf?

How does Greg could find Mycroft? Eurus is so clever and angry about Mycroft because he’s the one who locked her up, but she didn’t thought of making him unfindable?

Why is Molly crying and pissed before she answer Sherlock’s phonecall? What did he do to her to make her so sad and angry?

And why all of this don’t matter as soon as she hanged up the phone?

How can she hear Sherlock force her to reveal her secret and tell her that he doesn’t love her, and then come back with a bright smile because hey, being treated like shit isn’t such a big deal in the end? Does she have zero self-esteem?

And that after the promo pics and the cast hinted at the fact she’ll grow up as a character and be more strong?

Where the fuck was Rosie this whole time?

How does Mrs Hudson survived the explosion? How the fuck isn’t she at least injured? For a reminder: the explosion in TGG, in the old lady’s apartment, blew up several floors.

Do all the cast and crew don’t know how an explosion actually works?

Overall: WHY. HOW. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

[bidisasterhawkeye]

Many of these are opinions disguised as nitpicks. Some were actually answered in the show to those paying attention, or were production errors. Since I’m not deluded to believe that the insane TLJCers actually want answers, I do know my followers are interested in some of these, so I’ll take a few before I have to go back to work:

Why did Lady Smallwood’s name change from Elizabeth to Alicia? 

It was changed as early as the S3 DVDs. As Eurus’ was credited as “Elizabeth” in her guise on the bus, my guess is that they wanted to use the “E” motif for her so simply changed Smallwood’s first name. It’s not noticeable to a regular viewer, as Smallwood was a minor role and in dialogue no one calls her by her first name. 

Why all the water imagery that was never followed up on?

This is so explicitly addressed in TLP that I feel it’s indicative of Johnlockers delusion/crusade to bash the episode. Eurus killed Victor and refused to tell anyone where he was. She later taunted Sherlock by referring to him as “Drowned Redbeard,” leading Sherlock to believe Victor was somehow drowned. A water motif then haunted him, from being fascinated as a child with the drowning of Carl Powers to imagining a final confrontation with Moriarty on a waterfall. 

Also, WHY don’t we know anything about John’s letter, or Sherlock’s recurring dream yet?

Why do you need to know, word for word, what was in John’s letter? Clearly it was telling Sherlock to stay away. As we were shown John and Sherlock’s rift and later reconciliation, we don’t need the details of a letter reiterating the same things. 

Several other of the questions above range into what I call “bathroom territory,” i.e. people wanting EVERYTHING explained step by step, down to how a door was opened or a phone answered. You could also ask when exactly Sherlock has time to poop in the midst of these adventures, but no one wants to see that (well, some probably do, because I’m sure the fic exists). 

WHY did they introduce Hopkins, if she only had a secondary role in the first episode?

She was a bit part to illustrate that other DIs went to Sherlock for help and also to introduce the black pearl into the plotline. You will see lots of secondary characters and bit parts in television and movies. 

WHAT ABOUT JOHN BEING CHAINED IN THE WELL BUT CAN APPARENTLY CLIMB A ROPE?!

The rope was for someone to climb down with a tool to get him free, then get him back. 

Who was doing the little girl’s voice

Eurus, again this was part of the reveal at the end.

Who was pouring water down John’s well on command?

No one was standing there pouring water. The water was coming from an inlet or a hose. Eurus turned it on and turned it off.

WHY did they make a reference to Irene Adler in TLD?

Why wouldn’t they - because she’s an icky woman? She’s a character from the past that the show established Sherlock cares about in some way and still occasionally thinks about. Her text established two important things in the dialogue: allowed John to make a deduction that it was Sherlock’s birthday, and allowed John to go on his rant which was ostensibly about Irene, but really about Mary.

WHY did they credit Henry Knight’s actor and Irene’s actress if the first didn’t appear at all and the second was just mentioned?

“They” didn’t credit Russell Tovey or Lara Pulver. The HMV site listed Lara in the credits as a placeholder cast list for the S4 DVDs. Plenty of people pointed out that HMV has done that before (taken a cast list from a previous season and put it in as a placeholder) included listing Russell Tovey, a S2 guest star, for the S3 DVDs at one point. This was explained over and over, but prominent Johnlocker theorists latched on to such things and spread deliberate misinformation.  

WHY did they spread fake rumors about Colin Morgan being in the show and fake pictures of “young Mycroft” ’s actor (don’t know if you remember this, he was thin and had big ears)?

“They” didn’t. Your real problem is with the Johnlock bloggers who took rumors, twisted them or flat-out made up things, and beat them into your heads via repetition. A prominent example of this was claiming that Moffat and Gatiss called the series “groundbreaking” and “never been done before” when it was a comment Amanda Abbington made to a reporter at Comic-Con and was not said by Mofftiss, nor an official comment from the show in any way. She was clearly referring to the Eurus reveal, which Johnlockers refused to believe. The “rumor” of Colin Morgan being on the show has the same origin as the “rumor” about Tom Hiddleston being on it: it was invented on Tumblr by users fancasting. It had no connection to the show. 

Let me illustrate two other examples of how rumors are invented by fandom, then accepted as fact via repetition and used to bash the powers that be.

1. There was never a casting notice sent out for a “young Mycroft.” There WAS one for young Sherlock. A child actor named Alfie Stoker was publicly congratulated by his agency for being cast in a high-profile BBC show. Ruther and others wondered if he might be young Mycroft, due to physical similarities. Ruther was merely speculating and he labeled it as such. There was no confirmation that the child was cast on Sherlock vs. a myriad of other BBC projects, and indeed he wasn’t. Aaron Richards played young Mycroft, Alfie Stoker was never cast on Sherlock in any role. 

2. Having personally seen how TLJC echo chamber worked in real time regarding the “fake episode,” here is an example of how it went: after the BFI screening, several prominent Johnlockers refused to believe there was no kiss between the characters. They used the standard extra four minutes added to the PBS running time (used for the Masterpiece introduction and credits) and invented an extra “secret scene.” When that was debunked, the TLJCers used cult tactics to go on the attack against those who attended the screening. When the Russian episode leaked and it was the same as at the BFI screening, the conspiracy theorists had no choice but to double down. They told their followers it was a fake episode, including inventing “clues” and even “insider gossip.” I saw, again in real time, how those who merely tried to correct them regarding facts were attacked. They were called “antis” or “casuals.” Attendees of the screening were called plants and fakes. Followers who had hesitations were browbeaten back into line. Again, it’s a common cult tactic: doubt cannot be tolerated. 

Note that the people who spread the fake episode rumors have not been targeted or called out for gaslighting their followers: they are savvy enough to know that in mob rule, they need to shift your focus to another target of outrage. Now it’s the show itself to which they are inciting your frenzy. Don’t believe me? Again, look at the polite debates between Sherlock and Molly shippers on Tumblr who liked and disliked the episode. Then look at the way fans in your community are treated - how John/Sherlock shippers who liked the episode are targeted and harassed and forced out of the fold. That is how the Johnlock conspiracy theorists went from a fun thing, to a fringe group, to an extremist group with the goal of bullying all other John/Sherlock shippers out of the fandom. Now they are onto the final phase of turning on the object of obsession itself.

[melrosing]

👆🏻 This. And so many of these nitpicks are frankly bizarre.

‘Who painted the dog bowl/printed the pictures/made the coffin?’ Do you actually care? Why not ask who wrote Jim Moriarty’s fake CV and news articles in The Reichenbach Fall? Did you care then? The point is both Eurus and Jim were both setting out to fuck with Sherlock, and both clearly had access to the necessary resources or help.

‘Where’s this scene/that scene?’ They deleted it? They delete scenes? They TALK all the time about scenes that didn’t get filmed or lines that got cut. This is a thing that happens when you make television, believe it or not.

'Why was John typing into a JPEG?’ This is what we call a minor cock-up. If you really, REALLY care, then fine, there are whole shows on Channel 5 dedicated to spotting movie mistakes if that’s what you’re into.

'Where the fuck was Rosie?’ Offscreen. John talks about his guilt for abandoning his daughter with friends/neighbours. He literally addresses it. Did you want a speaking role for her?

'Why introduce Culverton as a villain for only one episode?’ Because… why not? Does every villain have to last the whole season? Is that a pre-requisite?

There’s so many others where the answer is honestly just 'They deleted the scene/that’s your personal reading, not a narrative fault/promo material is just promo material/do you actually care about the answer to this utterly mundane question’

[bidisasterhawkeye]

Sorry to kill your dashes again, folks, but @melrosing said what I was trying to, much more succinctly. 

Yes, thank you for mentioning the image file of the website. I forgot to, because honestly those are the type of production mistakes that happen all the time. For a split second shot of a computer screen of course they didn’t pay attention that if you freeze frame it, it shows that it’s a jpeg file rather than an active url. There are deadlines and budgets, and even if such things are caught in post-production, there’s nothing to be done. 

“Where was Rosie?” Don’t fool yourselves, we know you don’t want to see the baby. Hell, babies are barely present on shows that are explicitly about homelife and parenthood. She was with friends (as John said last episode) or at daycare. When John’s with Sherlock, he’s at work so his kid goes where everyone else’s kid goes when they go to work. 

Again, that’s a Bathroom Problem. Would you prefer a scene where John spends ten minutes on the phone making arrangements with a sitter? Maybe then we see him strap her into a carseat and drive her over? Did we miss the scintillating scene where he writes a check or forgets the diaper bag in the car and has to go back? 

Does Sherlock wear underpants why do we never see Sherlock put on underpants????

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

[expectedbehavior]

The Final Problem, or How I'm Shocked by the Fandom

So I just watched TFP. It felt rushed, was full of plot holes (along with the rest of S4), and was far too predictable and schmaltzy IMO.

But it was a new episode of BBC Sherlock, and I’m happy that it exists and that I got to watch it.

No, it’s not the strongest episode, and this season isn’t the strongest season – though The Lying Detective FLOORED me, and will forever be in my top 2-3 Sherlock eps.

The things I’m reading online from the fandom, however, shock and anger me more than anything in this season. Burning Sherlock merch? Saying that Gatiss is just pretending to be queer, since why else wouldn’t he make the characters explicitly queer also? Joking about LYNCHING Gatiss and Moffatt? What the actual fuck, people??

I say this as someone who believes Johnlock is canon, in varying degrees depending on the version/adaptation – yes, even in this adaptation. I say this as someone who wanted nothing more than Sherlock and John to hold hands, embrace (again!), admit they (or one of them, if not both) are in love with the other. That didn’t happen, and it wasn’t a surprise because the showrunners told us it wouldn’t happen.

You absolutely have the right to be upset that it wasn’t as explicit as you wanted. You have the right to be upset that TV history really could have been made by making such historically important characters queer. You have the right to be upset at the lack of good queer representation in media.

But being downright embarrassingly vicious to those involved with the show is going too far. It does not bring others to see your argument why this is such a disappointment, it only makes you and the fandom look extremely childish and rude.

It paints “the gays” in a terrible light. It hurts all of us.

Be upset. Say you don’t like the episode because of production values, rushed tempo, plot holes that should really be called plot wells cause you could fucking drown John Watson in them, WHATEVER. But be an adult, for chrissakes. Be classy. Rise above the obsessive and vindictive fan stereotypes and be the divine beings I know you all are.

Because you’re not acting like it right now.

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

Coming out of hiding to say basically all of this. I just finished watching and I know I’m in the minority when I say that I really enjoyed TFP. I loved the suspense. I love the character evolution and the deeper understanding we got to see, of the entire Holmes family. I loved the nods to the canon. I love the fact that despite extraordinary life and career situations, Sherlock Series 4 was a thing that managed to happen. It had its problems. It had its controversies. But we had it. We had it and now there are a lot of people reacting with a kind of unpolished, visceral indignation that makes me uncomfortable. 

I’m queer. Openly, happily. So please don’t come at me with the ‘you’re not queer so you have no idea’ nonsense, when I say what I’m about to say:  Maybe it’s just me, but never once did I see anything that I would categorize as ‘queerbaiting’ and let me tell you why: I accepted long ago that there's no way in any shape or form that John and Sherlock would ever have become canonically romantically involved. Not in this version of the Sherlock Holmes stories. It's just not who Sherlock Holmes is. I ship. I ship all the ships. I have armadas worth of ships and I was not the least bit upset that John and Sherlock didn’t become canon in this show. I will concede that Moftiss love the little teases and fandom nods and there's definitely love between S&J but they've said from the fucking start that Johnlock just wasn't ever going to be an official thing. Same with Mystrade and basically any other ship in the fandom. It just. Wasn’t. Gonna. Happen. Not in the explicit sexual/romance kind of way. 

Can’t we just be satisfied that there was love? Because there was love. There was lots of love among all the characters that manifested in a lot of different ways, it just didn’t happen in the fairy-tale sort of way, and especially not to the satisfaction of people who imagined it and wanted it to be real. But that's the beauty of fandom is that we can reject that reality and substitute our own. Instead of bitching about your ship not sailing, we should be thanking Moftiss for even giving us the content and the context to build our own thoughts and theories and stories off of.  The amount of work it takes to do this, to make this show, is entirely too great in quantity to slag it off with such selfish and self-righteous vitriol. 

People just get too invested in this stuff. I mean I know, I get it, I acknowledge that fandom is a good coping mechanism when you need an escape from whatever reality you're in - I'm known for jumping in that boat myself. But there has to be a line drawn. There's an unheathy side to fandom and it results in downright disgusting elitist behavior that gives fandom a bad name. It’s embarrassing to a point where I generally don’t talk about the shows I’m into with people I didn’t meet through fandom, because I can’t stand being judged alongside people who give the fandom reason to be judged. 

TL;DR - I had some complaints but overall I loved TFP. I loved all of Series 4 because it was more Sherlock. But, between the Johnlock thing and the pterodactyl screeching about the supposed queerbaiting thing I'm kind of over the Sherlock fandom at the moment.  

[greelin]

you know when you’re talking w/ someone and you just feel.. Warm. like.. not.. warmth temperature-wise but just this.. sense of overall coziness like on an emotional level speaking w/ them is the equivalent of whenever you step into a patch of sunlight… that’s something

[estelares]

[chucknoblet-deactivated20160615]

#that awkward moment #when sherlock knocks on mycroft’s door #and greg answers

[valeria2067]

THIS ^^

And Greg is wearing Mycroft’s dressing gown.

The one Sherlock gave Mycroft for his birthday.

[thethreepatchproblem-deactivate]

Is this a fic yet?

[hamishh]

OMG PLEASE GIVE ME THIS. PLEASE.

[loki-cat2]

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. 

3:17 a.m.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

Greg Lestrade heard a pounding in his head.

BAM. BAM.

He groaned, turning over and opening one eye, glancing at the clock. Two hours. He’d been asleep two bloody hours and he had to be up in another hour. And his head was pounding.

BAM-BAM.

Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing, Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing…

Now it was ringing. Chiming, if he was being specific. Chiming a bit like the d–

Oh, bollocks, it’s the door.

“Mycroft, door…” he grumbled, turning over and sighing against his lover’s shoulder.

“My,” he said after a beat of silence. No response. No surprise. Mycroft slept like the dead when he actually slept. Lucky bastard. 

Greg had been sleeping at Mycroft’s more and more in the past few months; Staying at the lovely Southwest London flat definitely had its comforts and conveniences. They cooked for each other most nights, which meant more and more home-cooked meals, and fewer and fewer nights where the recently-divorced Detective Inspector subsisted on junk food or cheap Chinese takeaway. Mycroft owned a gorgeous home entertainment system that had gone woefully unused before Greg came around – It was getting a proper workout now, though. They spent many evenings cuddled on the couch watching movies or shows that Greg was trying to get Mycroft interested in. He’d even been able to watch a bit of football on the large telly, which was a real treat. There was sex, of course, and plenty of it, though Greg would confess that while sex was great, it was really just nice to sleep next to someone again, especially when it was with someone who actually wanted to sleep next to him. And, adding to the list of conveniences, it was much closer to New Scotland Yard than his own place.

They hadn’t discussed it, but Greg had been slowly, quietly moving into Mycroft’s flat over the past month. Gradually, more and more of his clothing was making its way into Mycroft’s closet. And Mycroft no longer asked if Greg would be spending the night, it was just assumed that he would. They had a lovely, happy, disgustingly domestic little life carved out for themselves and neither man could remember a time when they were happier. Since he’d started regularly sleeping next to Mycroft Holmes, Greg could think of dozens of lovely, sweet, sexy, delicious, wonderful ways he’d found he enjoyed being awakened in the mornings. Having the door practically rended from its hinges at three in the sodding morning was decidedly not one of them.  

The knocking, speaking of which, was getting more insistent, as was the door chime. Giving up on getting back to sleep anytime soon, Greg sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed and got up. Mycroft’s dressing gown was the closest garment available, although he was half tempted to answer the door naked as he was, as punishment to whoever was cutting into his precious sleep.  He wrapped up in the cool satin garment, grinning a bit at how big it was on him; Mycroft’s height and long limbs required a larger size, and the sleeves were almost comically long for Greg’s arms.

“Alright, alright, you impatient sod, I’m coming…” he grumbled as he descended the stairs. Greg ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up a bit, then smoothing it back down as he scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to wake up a little more before opening the door. He had a dirty look and an unkind word primed and ready for whoever was on the other side of the door. Words and thoughts failed him though, when he saw none other than Sherlock standing there, hand held up to bang on the door again, with the most comically shocked expression on his face.

“Lestrade? What the hell is going on? What are you doing at my brother’s flat and why are you wearing his dressing gown?” Sherlock asked after a beat of silence. The younger Holmes brother positively hated being kept out of the loop; Greg and Mycroft had gone round and round trying to decide when to tell him they were seeing each other and getting serious. If anyone asked, they’d say they just never found the right time. Between them, though, they agreed that the longer it was kept secret, the more irritated Sherlock would get. They were perfectly okay with that.

“And a lovely good morning to you as well, Sherlock. Since you asked, I was sleeping, and if you’d rather I not wear the dressing gown, I can take it off. I assure you though, you’re going to want me keeping it on,” he responded wth a mix of amusement and annoyance. “What do you want? Get in here, it’s freezing out,” he said as he stepped back from the door. Sherlock stepped in, regarding Lestrade with a cautious look. He’d never seen the Detective Inspector in anything less than a suit, so seeing him in nothing but a dressing gown skewed the carefully-constructed mental image he’d kept in his head and it made him uneasy.

“Where’s Mycroft? I need to speak to him straight away,” Sherlock asked as he made his way through the foyer, looking into the study, sitting room, and kitchen before turning on his heel and staring Greg down.

“He’s asleep, upstairs. I tried to wake him, but he’s dead to the world when he actually sleeps,” Greg said with a shrug. “You’re lucky I’m a light sleeper, you’d still be standing– You know, nevermind – What do you want? I assume you know what time it is. Please for the love of God make this quick, because I want to go back to bed.”

“I need to talk to my brother. It’s an urgent matter that doesn’t concern you,” Sherlock replied with more than a bit of scorn on his face. Greg couldn’t tell if it was because he was there, sleeping with Mycroft, or because Sherlock hadn’t been made aware of it. Either way, at this indecent hour, he was fresh out of fucks to give.

“Well, as I told you, he’s asleep and can’t be roused. He’ll probably be up in an –”

“MYCROFT!” Sherlock bellowed up the stairs, interrupting Greg mid-sentence. “Mycroft! Wake up and come down here!”

“Sherlock! Christ’s sakes, he’s sleeping, you daft ass, whatever it is can’t possibly be that–”

“I’m awake, I’m here, what do you want, Sherlock?” Mycroft grumbled tiredly as he descended the stairs in an older dressing gown he fished out of the closet. Greg sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, giving Sherlock the dirty look he’d been holding back on. Sherlock waited until Mycroft was all the way at the bottom of the stairs before launching into his tirade and line of questioning.

“What is the meaning of this! Lestrade? Honestly? How long, Mycroft? How long have you been … whatever you’ve been doing?” Sherlock was deeply, personally affronted by the discovery that his brother and boss were dating, and whatever business he had needed to address with Mycroft would have to wait – This needed to be dealt with now.

“Yes, Sherlock, Gregory and I have been in an intimate relationship for almost seven months and as much as I am loathe to admit it, we have you to thank for it. We of course have known each other since you started working with Scotland Yard,” He said as he shifted over next to Greg, dropping a kiss on his temple quite shamelessly. “And if you hadn’t reliably informed him in front of a room full of friends that his ex wife was cheating on him, he wouldn’t have gotten a divorce and we wouldn’t be here right now.” Sherlock just rolled his eyes dramatically and scoffed. Romance. Sentiment. Mycroft was going soft in his old age. “Now that you know the details of my love life, I will repeat Gregory’s question: What do you want?”

“He’s wearing your dressing gown, Mycroft, the one I gave you for your birthday,” Sherlock said, practically pouting.

“And this one that I’m wearing is the one you gave me for Christmas, what does it matter?” Mycroft replied with a long-suffering sigh.

“That one is newer,” Sherlock said as he pointed at Greg.

“Oh for God’s sake, Sherlock, grow up! It’s a dressing gown. Being as he wasn’t wearing anything before you started tearing our door down, he was perfectly justified in putting it on–” Sherlock screwed up his face in a classic ‘Oh God I didn’t need to know that’ expression before interrupting again.

“Wait – 'our’ door? You live here now?” It was Greg’s turn to face Sherlock’s stroppy outrage now. Greg just shrugged and scrubbed a hand through his hair again.

“Just about,” Greg replied with a smug smile. He leaned against Mycroft, bumping their hips together affectionately. “We hadn’t discussed making it official yet, but I spend most of my nights here. I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed or said anything, honestly.” As amusing as Sherlock’s frustration was, Mycroft was tired and he could tell Greg was as well, so he decided to rein in the conversation and get down to business.

“Sherlock, it’s half three in the morning, we can talk about my relationship with Gregory at a more decent hour. What the hell is so important that you barged in–”

“–I didn’t barge in, Lestrade invited me–”

“and bellowed – Yes, you bellowed - up the stairs, rudely waking me from a dead sleep?”

Sherlock took a breath to start protesting but Mycroft gave him the 'Watch it, young man’ look that he’d practically trademarked. Sherlock took in a breath, squared his shoulders, shook himself off and proceeded with the point of his visit.

“It’s no business of Lestrade’s,” Sherlock finally said, “So you can just–” He looked at Greg and gestured with a flick of his hand toward the stairs.

“Just nothing! Unless it’s to do with National Security, I wanna know what the sodding hell was so important that you got us out of bed this early,” Greg responded, crossing his arms again.

“Fine! Fine. Christ. If you both must know–

“Oh, we must,” They said in almost perfect unison, to which they shared an amused grin.

“I kissed John,” Sherlock said, breaking up the affectionate moment by leaving them awestruck.

“You – What? John?” Lestrade stumbled over his words while Mycroft held in his reaction.

“This is why I said it doesn’t concern you, Lestrade–” Sherlock hissed, his face turning a shade of pink.

“Well technically it doesn’t concern Mycroft either, Sherlock.” Both Detectives shared a particularly nasty glare at that. Greg put his hands up in defeat. “It just sounds like it’s more an issue that you need to take up with John, during regular business hours, not at three in the bloody morning. That’s all I’m saying.” Greg stepped past Mycroft and up onto the first step of the stairs, then turned and caught the elder Holmes brother by the lapels of his dressing gown and pulled him in for a brief kiss. “I’m going back to bed, My. Don’t be long, alright?” Mycroft smiled at his partner and nodded, giving his hip an affectionate squeeze.

While Mycroft remained downstairs, Greg went back to the bedroom, stripped out of Mycroft’s dressing gown and hung it up, then climbed back into bed. He wanted desperately to be upset with Sherlock for waking them up at such an ungodly hour, but he had to take pity on the man. He’d panicked when he and Mycroft first kissed, unsure of whether or not he wanted to get involved with a Holmes. He’d gone to John for advice, but they’d met at a civilized hour and gone to a pub for a few drinks. He made a mental note to text John later to check on him.

A few minutes before the alarms were due to start going off, Mycroft finally appeared in the bedroom. He quietly stripped out of his dressing gown, crawling into bed next to his beloved Detective Inspector. Greg, noticing the shift in the bed straight away, turned over and curled up at Mycroft’s side, planting a kiss on his bare shoulder.

“Everything sorted?” He asked in a husky, sleep-thickened voice.

“Everything’s sorted for now, love. Go back to sleep. You’re officially taking the day off,” Mycroft murmured in return. The government official turned on his side and pulled his partner close, nuzzling his brow tenderly before pressing a kiss to his hairline. “We both are.”

Warm and comfortable in Mycroft’s arms, Greg wasn’t gonna argue.

FIN.

( Fic by FandomLife! )

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

Don't let your voice be silenced! Go out and #vote today! #imwithher

[cryptiddies]

Hey if you’re ever embarrassed by any scars you have just remember that I have a three inch scar down the length of my forearm from where I scratched myself on a microwave while cleaning

[cryptiddies]

Hey reblog this with your odd scar stories cause I think it’s cute and I wanna read em

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

I have a 1.5cm scar on the inside of my forearm from when I got grabbed by a bald eagle. No joke. I was volunteering for a raptor rehab program, had trained up for years to handle eagles, and got the biggest and sassiest of the lot - Windy. She was a big female, weigh in at just over 9 pounds, which is not huge for bald eagles in general but large for one that was born and raised in Florida. She was in permanent care due to a wing injury that she sustained while she was still a fledgling and she was utilized as an education ambassador. My job was to stand there with her sitting on a triple layered leather glove on my left hand and arm and talk about her story, and how bald eagles fit into the environment in Florida. We were at a festival and I got surrounded by a large crowd who wanted to hear the story, understandable right? Well she didn't appreciate having people on all sides, and she panicked and bated - that is, leapt off the glove and tried to fly off. With only one functional wing though, she fell like a stone and was hanging on her leash from my arm. As big as she was, she couldn't use her good wing to right herself so I would have to reach with my right arm and take her by the tail and flip her back up onto the glove. This is something we practiced many times, but never with a crowd. She was so worked up because of the people that instead of grabbing the glove, she slipped and grabbed the next grabbable thing - my right arm. Thankfully, from being in captivity and grounded for most of her life, her Talons were not nearly as sharp as a wild eagle, but those feet are still incredibly strong, and I still came away with a nasty puncture from her. This scar isn't easily visible, and even I have to search a bit to find it sometimes but there it is, and I wear it like a badge of honor in fond memory of the years that I spent working with birds of prey.

[heyepiphora]

My mission: put my favorite sex toys in the hands of people who deserve them. The result: this HUGE giveaway, the largest I’ve ever run with over 50 different sex toy prizes! 😍

Peeps, I’ve got everything here from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses and BDSM implements, plus gift cards for the indecisive and a slew of “winner’s choice” prizes, where you can win any sex toy you desire from the catalogs of various companies.

Classic favorites of mine such as the Pure Wand, Magic Wand Rechargeable, and Mona 2 are up for grabs, but there’s also a ton of new stuff, such as the Doxy Die Cast and Womanizer Pro. Most of these prizes are valued at or over $100, and more than half are available to international folks!

Enter to win the sex toy of your dreams now!

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

Y’all. I’m not very active here anymore but this is super fantastic and not to be missed. Enter to win from a massive selection of sex toys that cater to every interest, all across the gender and sexuality spectrum. DOOO IIIIT.

https://wn.nr/mW445S -- Use THIS link to sign up, and it’ll help give me a couple extra entries. Enter yourself enough times, you’ll get your own custom link too! It’s win-win. 

[michonnegrimes]

[jane-perdue]

Ask Meme for the “Experienced” Side of Tumblr

I’m faux drunk on migraine meds, so I made up an ask meme for those of us who are >30. But anyone is welcome to play! 

Go ahead and send me a number or three…  

How many jobs have you had, and which was your favorite? 

When did you first connect to other people via computers? 

We’re/are you on AOL? Compuserve? LJ? Dreamwidth? A Listserv? Other? 

If you went to college, does your major match your career/current job? 

Have you had a mammogram? Colonoscopy? 

When did you get your first cell phone? What was it like? (Did it have a screen? Could you text? Was it a brick or flip?) 

When did your family first acquire a color TV? 

When did your family acquire a second TV? 

Did you ever own “designer jeans”? 

Have you ever been to a disco? 

How many places (towns, states, countries) have you lived in? 

 Have any of you contemporary friends died? (I.e., people more or less you age.) 

Are you parents still living? 

Do you have any gray hairs? 

Did you or your family own a Betamax? 

How did you spend New Year’s Eve 1999/2000? 

 What’s the oldest article of clothing you still wear? 

Do you eat your vegetables? 

Are the privileges of adulthood worth the responsibilities? 

Do you feel like an adult? 

Is youth wasted on the young?

[mydwynter]

Never thought I could love a meme. I’m reassessing that right now.

[berlynn-wohl]

I like this one. Ask away!

[justgot1]

AHAHAHAHA, a meme for oldsters, awesome. Hit me, dash.

[annekewrites]

Sure, let’s do 

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

Ahhh, finally something that us old fuddy-duddies can relate with. ;)

[the-queen-of-staves]

indiana jones but with lesbians

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

*SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* 

THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS.

THIS. 

THIS THIS MOTHERFUCKING THIS. 

[starlightandtears]

Coconuts have only been in the Caribbean for 500 years. They just….floated on over from Asia and took root. That’s…hilarious.

[borntomezmer-deactivated2021011]

Wait really? I always thought they were if not native at least brought over on purpose

[starlightandtears]

Right??? I’m watching this nature doc and when the narrator said that I nearly spit my drink giggling. They’re remarkably buoyant and just bob their way to a new shore. So carefree. Truly a fruit destined to be in the Caribbean.

[thisisnotacatblog]

are you suggesting coconuts migrate

[andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels]

Maybe it was brought over by a swallow

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

An African Swallow or a European Swallow...? Because this knowledge would help dictate the airspeed velocity.. 

[lesbianshepard]

retail story time: ive probably told you this before but like a year ago at work i was closing and we are like five minutes from closing the doors and leaving. it’s late. we close at 10pm during the holiday season and it was like 9:56 when this woman walks in with a shopping cart. 

now, if you work in retail, you know this sort of customer. those assholes who walk in right before you close and take their time shopping and act like they dont notice the announcements that “the store is now closed. please bring your final selection up to the front for checkout.” or that every employee is so fucking done for the night and want to get home. or that they are the only customer in the store. and when they have a shopping cart, you know they’re gonna be a while.

so a solid half hour after we are officially closed this woman comes to my register, because i am the only one open. because it’s ten fucking thirty pm and everyone else is ready to leave and ive been stuck here for eleven hours because someone called out and i was already there and a fucking idiot. 

and this woman, she’s a Suburban Mom ™ type and, like all the fucking moms who come into this store, she doesnt have a coupon because she expects us to just give it to her. and we will, if they ask. except i, after a solid hour of no customers and foolishly thinking nobody would come, had gotten rid of my coupons a few minutes before she walked in. so when she asks if i had a coupon i say no, i’m sorry, i don’t have one at the register. 

and this woman, she leans in and tells me “you know, i’m a professional psychic.” and i think “oh christ here we go”

and long island medium here, immune to the glares of the other employees who want her to just fucking pay and leave, goes on and on about this boy who loves me. we are soul mates, she says. destined to be. but there is a power keeping us apart. she mentions this “power” keeping me from mr. right several times. 

i, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to go home, reply “is it the power of me being a lesbian?”

she pays and leaves without another word.

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

I have a confession! I really just can't stand people who write fan-fiction about real people. I mean, really. Like band fan-fics or whatever. Or shipping the actual actors, not just the characters they play. Like... SERIOUSLY! I have nothing against band/real people fandoms, but THERE IS A LINE BETWEEN BEING A FAN AND BEING A CREEP!!! THE ARE NOT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE AND THEY HAVE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (PS I couldn't figure out how to send this to the confessions page...)

Dearest Darlingest OP, 

I don’t have a confessions page, so I’m not sure you’ve reached the party you originally intended. In fact, I do believe you meant to contact @fandomlife-confessions but hey, thanks for giving an old ‘fandom grandma’ (The ORIGINAL Fandomlife, once and always) the thrill of attention from a random person that isn’t a spambot or a porn blog! 

Listen, OP, I feel you. Your opinion is valid. I don’t like to actively judge people (Unless they plan on voting for Tr*mp, in which case, fuck those idiots) and I’m going to try to state my case without being too judgmental, though I open my inbox to anyone who wants to discuss the matter in a civilised way and explain their position so that maybe I can gain some insight from them. 

I admit I don’t understand the draw toward ‘RPF’.  Fanfiction and fanworks are, to me, an escape from reality, a creative outlet, a means of dealing with internalised personal conflict, among other functions. Fictional characters are just that - Fictional; They start off on a page and they only become real when some actor assumes their identity for a short while, and then they go back to existing only on a page. They’re fake, imagined, engineered, and we as fans can, do, and should take creative liberties with them for whatever means we wish. 

Real people though, I mean. Come on. Sure. People have chemistry. People get along. People even become friends and show affection to each other but no one gets to dictate or puppeteer their lives but them. And sure, it’s fun to romanticise what it would be like to meet these people and have daily interaction in their lives, it’s nice to have that break from reality, but I agree, there is a line that should be drawn. Even people who meet because of a job and genuinely do fall in love (Kit Haringon and Rose Leslie, for example) do not exist as fodder for the sort of larger-than-life situations we as fans are capable of creating in our minds. 

Regardless of who they are or how you consume their contributions to entertainment, their personal lives are not a sandbox for us to play in. We have no rights to say who should shack up with whom. We have no rights to insist people act a certain way toward each other. And we sure as hell have no rights to get upset when two people don’t get together, or get together and then split. 

I don’t understand how and where the line gets blurred, where people see it as appropriate to assume and manufacture words and actions in the names of these people we claim to love and adore and idolise. It all makes me uncomfortable and I can’t even imagine how the actors or personalities must feel when they’re presented with it in a public forum. 

That leads me to another thought; If you are a person who dabbles in RPF, fine. You do your thing. I don’t understand it, I actively avoid it whenever possible, but you go on and do what makes you happy. You do you. But if you’re gonna do it, be respectful of the people you’ve immortalised, do your idol and yourself a favor and keep that stuff locked down and private. I have so much secondhand embarrassment for people, actors and singers and Youtubers alike, from seeing them in broadcast interviews, being asked their opinion on artwork and writings that can only be categorised as explicit.  They do what they can to be civil about it, but it’s an awkward situation to be thrust into and if you look close enough you can see how exhausting it can be. 

So OP, I know I wasn’t what you intended, but I appreciate your message and bringing this issue to the table. I feel like I rambled a bit there, but I hope it communicates to you that you not alone in your feelings. But let me say this: My dislike, your dislike, anyone’s dislike of a form of creative expression is not EVER a reason or a justification to verbally attack or bully someone for liking what they like. Our differences of opinion are (or should be) what fuels the ongoing conversations within fandom.  And to that end, I welcome any RPF writers/creators to visit my inbox and share with me their thoughts and ideas toward RPF and maybe help open my mind to what fuels your interest. 

[fandomlife-retiredblog]

The Best Mobile Rewards App - Get Paid Apps For Free, Free iTunes, Amazon, Xbox Gift Cards. Free install on iOS and Android devices.

Who the heck knows, this might be useful to some people. Basically I downloaded this referral app that gives you points toward things like Amazon and PayPal credit, game credits, and the like. It's pretty simple, you don't have to spend money, and all it asks is that you watch an ad video or download an app (mostly games) and use them for a few minutes to get the points. You can delete the apps you download after the initial use period (usually about 5 minutes max). There's also a big benefit from referring friends... Which is where you come in; if you use this app, get to 15000 points (you start off with 10000 just for trying it), you can put my referral number (J17877041) in, and we both get 2500 extra points. Summers over, school is in session, fall is around the corner, and Christmas will be quick to follow. A little extra cash or Amazon credit goes a log way doesn't it? So. Give it a try.

[majinneda]

When you get a new follower and it isn’t a porn blog.

[tatsandtudes]

😂😂😂😂👌🏼