Job cuts and frozen funding could inch one of the world’s rarest species even closer to extinction.
DOGE just froze funding to vital Federal and Indigenous conservation programs devoted to supporting the very delicate and tenuous existence of the black-footed ferret.
I fell in love with these animals as a kid traveling to our National Parks. Their rarity and ferocity made me sharply aware, even as a child, of just how much of a responsibility we have toward our environment. I can't bear the thought of them being a fucking casualty of Trump and Musk.
Okay I don't want to end this on doom and gloom, so I'm also going to add that the Buffalo Nations Grasslands Alliance was one of the indigenous-lead organizations who were supposed to receive a $1.1 million dollar grant that has since been frozen. But they do have a website and they do accept donations.
Thinking about Jason Todd as your soft, sweet, inexplicably buff boyfriend who’s built like a tank but wouldn’t hurt a fly… that is, until some unfortunate soul tries to mug you and is promptly knocked off their ass by a right cross that could level a small truck
just so we’re perfectly clear here, if you voted for trump, i actually don’t want you to follow me. i literally don’t want to ever interact with you.
this is not a “it’s just how i feel” moment, or a “it’s my opinion” time. this is a “he is fundamentally xenophobic and his winning this election will change the course of this nation for the remainder of at least my lifetime.”
i do not care if your feelings are hurt by this. i do not care if you feel the need to send an anonymous ask about this. i do not care if you need to go and cry to your mommy about this.
if you actively vote against human rights, i want nothing to fucking do with you, period 👏🏼
I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you
Possibly the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me occurred today. So I’m in a creative writing class at university right now and we had to print out twenty-five copies of our first, one page assignment to distribute to the class. I had to print mine at the computer lab as I don’t have a printer, but here are the three crucial facts that made this the worst mistake of my life.
1. Sometimes, when you log into Google on Chrome, it activates all of your extensions, even ones you’ve deactivated.
2. In high school, my friends and I got really into Ponify (a words replacing chrome extension) and switched the preferences so we could read political articles and have congress get into a “rousing snow ball fight” and the like.
3. Ponify reverted to its original My Little Pony lingo when opened on a new computer’s chrome.
So when I distributed my twenty-five copies of this I noticed the word “everypony”, my heart seized up and dropped into my stomach, and with my imminent death approaching, I began furiously correcting all twenty-five of them. My teacher, confusedly, agreed to let me correct them as I was too infuriated and ashamed to say my mistake aloud.
I just realized, however, that the line “as she watched the binding fall away in her hand” was changed to “as she watched the binding fall away in her hoof”.
And I just had to send this email:
And basically I’m ready for death how was your day
this actually perfectly demonstrates the transitive property of memes: you can replace a meme piece by piece until it only structurally resembles the original, and it is, in fact, the same meme.
《Idk what happened, this ended up being like three times as long as I was planning... but oh well I guess, I think it got a little unhinged and lost a tiny bit of plot but oh well. Much more than half is just straight smut so who cares!》
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You and Ford have been together for about a year now, and he's very open with with you. Except when it came to his newfound fetish, your thighs. He couldn't take his eyes off them, all he wanted was to be crushed between them while eating you out.
Little did he know you've caught on to his staring, and have decided to silently tease him by wearing more clothes that expose your thighs.
Tonight was your one year anniversary and Ford was taking you out for a fancy dinner, you had splurged a little on a new dress yesterday that you knew he'd like.
pretty much this but with slits up both thighs and stop just before your underwear.
(mini skip)
You had just finished getting ready, and was waking down the stairs when you saw Ford standing by the front door in a suit with a matching red tie.
"Wow..." Ford looks breathless as he checks you out "you look gorgeous darling" he says unable to hide his smile.
"And you look as handsome as ever my love" you walk up to him, dusting off his shoulder and giving him a peck on the cheek.
Ford's cheeks get a dusting of pink at your actions "shall we?" He holds out his arm for you, and you take it smiling a at him as the two of you walk out to the car.
(After the date)
You had been teasing Ford throughout the date with small touches and mind games which were driving him crazy.
Once you both were inside he had locked the front door while you took off your heels. Suddenly you felt Ford's large hand on your waist pulling you backwards against his chest, and his warm breath on the back of your neck. He was leaving small kisses along your neck while his hands traveled lower to your thighs slowly hiking up your dress to expose your black lace underwear.
Ford had now turned to around so you were facing him as he slowly pushed you backwards, your lips connected with his he pressed your back against the counter.
"Do you know what you were doing to me back there?"
His voice is low and gravelly, his lips leaving small hickeys on your neck. You could feel his strained bulge against your thigh, you decide to tease some more to see how much he could take.
"Maybe, why don't you remind me"
You whisper into his ear nibbling slightly, while you grab his ass to keep him in place and rub your thigh against his growing bulge.
Ford responds immediately to your touch by stifling a moan and throwing you over his shoulder carrying you to the bedroom. He kicks the door open and practically throws you on the bed and starts undressing.
"Such a brat."
Ford mumbles as he crawls towards you now only in his boxers, he's sitting in between your thighs while he works the dress up your waist and pulls it over your head.
Ford whistles when your matching black lace underwear and bra. His hands start wandering up your waist to your upper back pulling you up into a sitting position on his lap. He groans quietly when you rub against his painfully hard dick and begins to unhook you bra while sucking on your neck.
"Need you to ride me"
Ford mumbles against your neck, his hands on your now exposed boob's pinching your nipples. You moan softly at the sensation, grinding down on his clothed bulge, your hands combing through his silver hair.
He moved so he was leaning against the head board and you were at the end of the bed. He had removed his boxers while he moved, his dick standing straight up and shaded red with a bead precum dripping down the base.
You're practically drooling at the sight as you slide your underwear down your thighs and off your legs.
"God you look sexy like that"
He blushes at your words not quite registering when you started to crawl towards him. You then place one leg on either side of his hips straddling him, and gently grabbing the base of his cock pumping slightly to spread the precum.
"Oh fuck baby, just like that"
Ford moans throwing his head back onto the pillow behind him, a six fingered hand gripping your waist. Once you've deemed him lubed up enough you lower your hips slightly and tease his overly sensitive tip through your wet folds.
Ford's eyes snap open at the feeling and a gasp escapes his lips which turns into a low drawn out moan, his hips bucking.
"Getting impatient are we?"
You tease. sucking on his neck before biting down, not hard enough to break the skin but just enough to leave a mark. Your kisses still down his neck to his chest eventually landing on his right nipple, circling it with your tongue.
The sound Ford emits is somewhere between a scream and a moan, while his hands are still on your waist. He finally lifts his head giving you a dirty look as if your playing unfair.
During all this you've been teasing his dick by rubbing your slick all over his lower half making sure he'll fit. Even after a year of being together and the countless times you've had sex, he's still just so thick that it's taken this long to be able to take him without much prep.
"Aww does is someone upset I know where youre sensitive?"
Your voice is almost mocking, but it turns him on anyway knowing that you can make him melt so quickly. Ford's getting even more needy now his hips bucking more often than before and his moans get whiner.
With a few more hickeys and some hand pumps you start to slide his tip inside your practically dripping hole. Both of you moan in sync at the feeling, and you slowly slide down farther till you have him fully stuffed inside you.
Ford's hands start wandering your body and over your stomach where there's a noticeable bulge in the shape of his dick. He presses on it causing you to moan loudly and arch your back, you're pussy squeezing around him.
"Ah my love you're so tight"
He manages to speak through his moans, his hips trying to buck into you but he's using all his strength to hold back as to not hurt you.
"If you don't move soon I'm not gonna be able to hold on much longer"
Ford's practically sweating from how much it's taking him to hold back from fucking into you like a mad man. His hands are helping your hips so tight you'll definitely be having dinner shaped bruises tomorrow.
You experimentally roll you hips causing you both to moan, and Ford's hips to buck into you which makes you gasp and grab his shoulders for support. You start a steady pase lifting about half way then gently letting back down, which was almost torture to Ford.
Despite liking slow sensual sex there are times where he's just so pent up he needs to release it somewhere, and why not into you?
Suddenly Ford loses his control and lifts you just to the tip before shoving you back down meeting you in the middle with a harsh thrust. His actions cause you to scream his name, nails digging into his shoulder muscles while all you can do now is accept your fate.
Tits bouncing and head resting in the crook of his neck, Ford fucks his rock hard dick into your pussy. Without warning Ford flips you onto your stomach and pulls your ass up into a doggy position. Holding your wrists above your head he lines back up and shoves his dick back into you hitting your deepest spot making you cum.
You're screaming his name as Ford fucks you through your orgasm, and keeps trusting with the same power. At this point you've been fucked stupid and all you can do is moan and try to move your hips back against his own.
After a few more minutes you notice Ford's thrusts start to get shallow and slower, which meant he was close to cumming. You do your best to squeeze around him and your actions don't go unnoticed, infact that was the last push he needed to spill his hot thick cum inside you.
"You did so good for me dear"
Ford says breathlessly, as he rolls you over to see your sweaty hickey covered body this sight alone makes him want to go again. He restrains himself by silently laying his head between your thighs leaving small kisses along them, and the occasional small hickey.
"Ford, what are you doing?"
Your voice is quiet and tired from your session earlier, however your hands make their way to his summer gray hair tugging slightly.
"Shh dear, let me take care of you"
Ford leaves a few more hickeys as he inches closer to your core, his hand wrapping around your hips again gently this time. Once he reaches his goal he licks a stripe from your entrance to you clit, the mixed taste of yours and his cum making him moan softly.
When he starts sucking your clit a shudder rips through your body, your pussy being overstimulated hightened your sensitivity to his touch. You start to squirm at his actions when he dips his tongue into your hole that's dripping your mixed cum.
"Taste so good"
Ford's mumbles against your pussy pulling you back to him when you try to wiggle away, he practically shoves his face into your pussy. He's now eating you out like you're his last meal and god do you love it, your hands are gripping his hair pulling him as close as possible.
The pleasure starts to build up getting closer to your orgasm, your legs start to close around Ford's head thighs pressing on either side of his head. His hands move from your waist to your thighs gripping and fondling them as he continues to eat, moaning into your sensitive pussy.
"Ford! Can't take anymore"
You practically scream as you cum on his face, your thighs having a death grip around his head. He doesn't really notice though, because he's too busy slurping up your fresh cum not caring of he suffocates between your thighs.
When your legs relax he lifts his head, his hands still on your thighs, his whole loose face is glistening with cum and saliva. He gives you a doped or face like he's gotten high of your pussy, leaning his face into your right thigh he sucks a small hickey.
"I've wanted to do that for so long my love"
He speaks like it wasn't already obvious he had some sort of fetish for your thighs. You laugh at his words smiling down at him, you squish his face with your thighs.
"Oh I know honey"
You let him go and let your legs fall flat along with the rest of your body.
"Let's get you cleaned up darlin"
(After he cleans you up)
(Aftercare king)
He had picked out your favorite pair of pajamas and made sure you wouldn't be sticky in the morning. You both were now cuddled up with each other, you being the little spoon and Ford being the big spoon, you had said your goodnights and drifted off to sleep.
Audio transcript : Hamster balls are like so dangerous for small animals. You know why? Because like, they can't extend their back properly, so their back is like thi-- (cuts off abruptly as the creature in the hamster ball is revealed to be a crab; pauses. The following is said with an affectionate tone like one uses when speaking of a cute animal:) Well, he can't break his spine 'cause he don't have a spine.
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