[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[andthepeople]

love that jabba in the original trilogy is like BRING ME HAN SOLO!!! HUNT HAN SOLO ACROSS THE GALAXY!!!! I WILL HANG HIM ON MY WALL LIKE A CHEAP PAINTING!!!! meanwhile chewie who no doubt also cheated jabba out of whatever they cheated him out of has no heat on him whatsoever. even jabba's not ballsy enough to start shit with a wookiee. no solid evidence chewie could rip a hutt's arms off but jabba is not going to be the idiot to test that

[satan-is-a-heterophobe]

mcqueen

[itsthemink]

mcqueen

[illinoisiest]

im begging of you please dont take my man

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[un-monstre]

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

[prose-n-scripts]

concurrent events

[deadpowol]

[libraford]

I'm at the pediatrician office watching two 3-year olds attempt to break the language barrier.

[libraford]

English speaking child: baby! Baby!

Spanish speaking child: ¡esta bebe!

Excited screaming from both.

Spanish: -produces a toy of some kind-

Excited screaming both.

Spanish: do... do you...quieres... ahhh...

English: do you want to come pl-

Spanish: ¿juega conmigo? -toy makes a sound-

Excited screaming both

[what-even-is-thiss]

I still find it pretty funny that in fallout 3 you can get your karma down by just opening Moriarty’s terminal over and over again.

The slavers at paradise falls have heard of me. I’m the guy that opens people’s computers over and over again without asking first.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Butch won’t be my companion. He’s like you’re too intense. You must’ve turned on that computer like 50 times in a row last time.

[what-even-is-thiss]

My forbidden computer touching ways have caught up with me.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason I’m doing this in the first place is that a lot of evil karma options in fallout 3 are just inconvenient. Like I could go out of my way to blow up a city or I could not blow up a city and get a much more convenient free house and keep access to their merchants.

So in order to keep getting the full evil karma experience, every time I do something convenient or utilitarian that raises my karma I go back to Moriarty’s Saloon and just open his terminal over and over again.

Thus, my good boy points are eliminated through repeated computer touching and the regulators here are hunting me down for looking at Moriarty’s personal data a hundred times in a row.

[what-even-is-thiss]

What’s really funny about lowering your karma this way is that after you do a major good Karma action and listen to the radio, the radio DJ Three Dog will be like this horrible fucker from vault 101 we all hate him so much you know that guy? He did another fucking thing. He saved a thousand orphans.

[smilingmarauder]

"I'm just resting my eyes…" or: movie nights gone bad.

-- Shouta is the kind of person who claims to hate people who snore because they disturb his sleep, but then he sleeps perfectly well next to Hizashi (who snores incredibly loudly). He only wakes up when his own personal white noise suddenly stops…

---- photo reference: Taikan yohō (My Personal Weatherman) <3

[rowanclair]

In an ancient forest, shallow pools reflect not the trees above, but a luminous city of elsewhere.

[electricalsun]

[homunculus-argument]

I remembered that google maps has an option to also go through the older street view footage, and while the place looks a lot different now, in 2009 this spot looking towards my childhood home looked just as I remembered it being when I was 5 years old. Painted from this streetview screenshot:

[xiketic]

Something I haven't seen many people talk about in PHM is the fact that Eridians probably don't have the same attitudes towards time as humans do. Think about it: Erid is an inherently dayless place, having an atmosphere that allows no light and thus no concept of day or night. We don't really think much about how our entire lives are structured around this cycle that Earth life has been experiencing for eons. Erid life has no concept of this at all. Eridian sleep schedules are somewhat irregular and not synced to each other (they can't be, not if someone always stays awake to watch). They don't track birthdays like we do, they can't unless they're paying attention to their solar cycle, which I'd expect is a relatively new thing for their culture. Maybe they base age on their near-perfect memories or how many layers their carapace has or how big they are, or experiences/accomplishments. They may have an idea of an Eridian year, if their planet has seasons or something like that, but I doubt it has a whole lot of importance to them.

I'd image having an alien who relies so heavily on cycles and repeated patterns in order to function normally would be mind-boggling to the Eridians. What do you mean it celebrates the exact day of its birth every so often, just because? Wait we need to program a reliable change in light levels to simulate its planet, which has almost no atmosphere? And we have to schedule any interactions we have with it around this cycle? Wait it tracks its age by the scientific year, not by life experience and physical aging?

Constantly being reminded that this guy Rocky brought home that saved their entire planet is, in fact, a complete alien.

[winter-wise]

#getting a piece of equipment set up to go deliver to the alien and you can tell from its biodome data that it's awake and active#only to be told by your planet's saviour “no grace is experiencing a subjective 'one ey em' right now#and would feel frightened if you approached his living space soon. you have to wait about thirty thousand seconds.“#you're like. “is it doing something private?” “no. judging by energy use I think he's observing audiovisual entertainment.”#“then why can't I communicate with it” “because” <- prev you paint such a wonderful picture

[hypotheticalpeople]

guy who plays albums on mute, it was never really about sound for him as much as feeling a sense of progression through a series of named durations

[headspace-hotel]

[smilingmarauder]

”Kiss me, you idiot!” <3

[thehmn]

I don't ship Grace and Simon but the shippers did make me speculate on how it would work.

I don't think Simon is some natural aggressive alpha top (I can only see him as a switch) but he wants to survive more than anything and he spent years in a hardcore prison where he probably learned some unhealthy things about sex between men. So what does Grace (whom I can only see as a demisexual switch) who clearly doesn't care about power dynamics and masculinity do when a man like that is dumped into his habitat?

I imagine it would be an extremely slow burn where it takes a lot longer for Grace to show interest in Simon than Simon expected, and Simon has to learn that sex between men doesn’t have to be transactional and being guarded and aggressive won't do him any good on Erid.