23

[billciphermpreg]

and for my favorite character: failed suicide attempt and erectile dysfunction

[hollanoveau]

ilya, post coitus, sticking his head into the shower where shane is washing off: hollander i need to tell you something. stop yelling. i have a theory that scott hunter and eric bennett are fucking.

scott hunter, at the exact same time in new york, rolling over in bed: eric. benny. wake up. i think hollander and rozanov are fucking.

[moveslikekeithrichards]

back in 70s times men would wear tight as fuck shirts tucked in so that no matter what they weighed there would always be a little tummy protrusion. We Need To Go Back

[flyora]

yeah that's my emotional support sketching therapy

[cottagehillsunset]

The Raiders are sitting in the airport lounge, waiting for their flight to board after their game against Montreal. And right accross from them is one of those big posters from Shane's Reebok campagne. Ilya is playing a game on his phone (no, it's not to distract him from the giant Shane Hollander picture right in front of him, obviously not). Meanwhile Cliff looks at the Reeboks - they do look kinda nice, he has to admit - and then down to his own sneakers, which are a bit ratty and he could defnitely do with buying a new pair. And he's thinking about how convenient it must be to be sponsored by a shoe brand because it saves you the hassle of having to reaplace your old shoes. Hollander probably gets sent a new pair every couple of months whether he needs them or not. And wouldn't that be amazing.

"Maybe I should pull a Hollander", Cliff mutters to himself, thinking about how to best get an Adidas or Nike sponsorship or something.

Next to him Ilya almost gives himself whiplash with how fast his head snaps up and he barely manages to not drop his phone because Cliff what do you mean pull a Hollander there are no Hollanders to pull, Yuna and David are happily married and Shane is his boyfriend Cliff which Hollander are you trying to pull here-

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[cottagehillsunset]

Ilya who, whenever Jurrasic Park or any sort of dinosaur movie is on, takes a picture of the TV and sends it to Scott Hunter with a "good game" or "did not kow you were playing tonight".

Scott just lets out a long sigh everytime and counts to ten in his head.

He ends up on the same flight to New York as Shane after an away game in Ottawa, with Scott going back home and Shane travelling for the launch of a new Rebook store in New York.

And Scott can't help but laugh when he sees what the in flight movie options are. At Shane's curious look he waves at the small tv screen and explains the bit Ilya has going on. And Shane, just for a second, gets this weird glint in his eyes before offering Scott one of his earbuds with a smile.

"Want to rewatch the game with me instead?", he asks, holding up his IPad. And, why the hell not, Scott thinks, there are worse things than reviewing their game with Shane (even though he doubts Shane will share any of his strategical thoughts with him).

So, Scott takes the earbud and settles into his seat. Only to be hit with the opening notes of Jurrasic Park five seconds in.

[elventhespian]

Best dialog

[hollandermfer]

it’s very sad but very dear to me that while ilya in the long game is very depressed and has absolutely zero self esteem and thinks of himself as the worst captain ever, in role model that is just demonstrably untrue. like. troy’s internal monologue about him is just how it’s crazy that he’s on the same team as him and that he’s so good at everything. harris is so happily confused about his antics. luca haas hero worships him. the rest of the team is obviously just incredibly fond of him. every time we catch a glimpse of him he’s being great with kids and dogs or is supporting his friends in some way. his speech and resolve is the entire motivation behind the centaurs making it to the playoffs. like! ilya rozanov i fear you will never know how loved you are

[scissorsaint]

(flirting) i could be your problem

[starrysostarry]

picture this:

season two’s final scene is the (almost) plane crash. it’s shaking, lights flickering, there’s the start of flames, there’s shouting and crying and broken off whimpers and prayers.

the camera in contrast to the panicked scene moves slowly through the rows, before ending on Ilya… it careens over his shoulder and you see his thumbs flying over his phone’s keyboard….

You are the best thing in my life.

A hand wipes furiously at his eyes.

I love you. Always. Maybe from the first time saw you.

shouts and screams and crying that echo like they’re far away from him and not surrounding his seat. his life is in the palm of his hand.

I am thinking only about you right now. A million memories. Thank you for those.

the sounds of other passengers gradually grow louder, closing in on the scene.

Whatever happens, I am with you. Safe in your heart. I believe it.

his finger hits the lock button, and the screen goes dark. the chaos grows loud, the lights flicker and flicker, and the screaming and crying reaches sound fever pitch….

our televisions go dark.

[jewelcoatfish]

i just imagine the oldies at david’s mcgill hockey team is jealous as fuck like what do you MEAN his son and son in law are THE HOCKEY GUYS like the best ones. some of them tried to get their child to date a hockey player and didn’t even succeed but david hollander not only is the father of the best hockey player but also the father in law of the other best hockey player??? i swear he’s living the dream of some of his old teammates they hate to see a uni reunion coming

[lesbianalumni]

Way down the line, when they're leading Ottawa to another Stanley Cup, Ilya gets slammed too too hard by some eager new player. He's knocked unconscious and Shane practically flies from the box to the ice, watching as the EMTs intervene and carry him out on a stretcher.

Yuna goes in the ambulance with Ilya — Shane can't get out of his skates fast enough to run over in time, so he drives a few minutes behind them — and she calls Shane to keep him updated. It's fine, it's all fine, Ilya is already semi conscious and talking to them both. Shane's mind goes to all of the worst places anyway.

They lose service when they get in the elevator, but Yuna still sends out a text message with the room number. Shane speeds faster and then bolts through the hospital.

When he finally sees Ilya, minutes later, already in a blue hospital gown and connected to an IV but conscious and beaming up at him, Shane breaks into tears.

"Don't cry, solnyshko," Ilya says. "Come here," he holds out the hand that's free from the needles and Shane takes it.

"I have something important to ask you," Ilya tells him. It suddenly feels so serious. Shane's heart drops.

"Will you come to my cottage this summer?" Ilya says in a sing-songy voice, using his best Canadian accent. "Don't go to Russia. Come to my house, we'll have so much fun..."

Shane laughs. "You remember that?"

"Every fucking word."

[manny-jacinto]

TOM HOLLAND as Peter Parker SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY (2026)

[ilyannarozanova]

I adore that in the hospital Shane's heart rate goes down instead of up when he sees Ilya. I know a racing heart is common around someone you're attracted to but the lower bpm reads as him feeling so comfortable and safe that even his perpetually active sympathetic nervous system calms tf down. And this is when he's actively concussed with a broken bone btw!!! Holding Ilya's hand physically reduces Shane's stress so much his heart rate drops 20bpm and his oxygen saturation goes to 100%. That's insane. Forget whatever medications they had him on Ilya is his drug of choice for sure

[snowsmoked]

I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.

So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.

Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.

She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.

About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.

"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.

"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."

A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."

"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.

She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"

"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"

"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."

And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.

Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.

[ilyannarozanova]

Baby Ilya crashing out on the ice because his mom says it's time to go to bed (it is incredibly late even by adult standards) while on the other side of the world baby Shane is jumping on his parents' bed at 5am sharp demanding that they drive him to the rink the second it opens. Many such cases.