Shout out to Frank Langdon’s perpetually slightly open mouth #oralfixation

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@farfallama362
Shout out to Frank Langdon’s perpetually slightly open mouth #oralfixation
no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent
sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.
i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything
this too shall pass but the fuck was that for
scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close
I beg your sweet fucking pardon
GRRM is in fact really good at making up top tier characters i will use the starklings to illustrate the point okay you got: 1) high school freshman King Arthur stars in a shakespearean tragedy, as told by his mom; 2) local moody teenaged Starbucks night shift manager must do his very best to stop the zombie apocalypse through the power of friendship; 3) a middle schooler who keeps her sparkly butterfly gel pens in perfect rainbow order at all times is being held hostage by her evil middle school boyfriend and his evil blonde mafia family; 4) a scrappy but poorly-supervised middle-grade book protagonist bops about a war-zone looking for her family but instead! learns about Death; 5) paraplegic fourth grader Frodo Baggins receives mystical visions and must go on a quest to see a hundred-year-old tree guy; and 6) kindergartener that Bites
Got into a discussion about emergency response at a professional retreat recently and everyone was going on and on about agility, and I was like, "Okay but what about contingency?"
And they were like "What?"
And I was like, "Agility isn't the ultimate form of preparedness. Contingency is. Agility still requires you to flounder and figure out a solution in the moment, but if you have a contingency plan, all you have to do is implement it."
And they were like "But you can't make contingency plans for every situation!"
And I was like, "Yeah, you basically can if you just identify all of your basic dependencies and contingency plan around the loss of any dependency," and then I gave a few examples.
And they all stared at me like I'm an alien.
Anyway, that's how I figured out I'm Batman-coded and also learned how Batman must feel talking to supposedly professional superheroes who never bothered to run disaster scenarios until I pointed out that it's insane that they don't already have a plan for if Superman turns evil.
There’s a phrase that really stuck in my head around this. It was from one of the British divers who enacted the Thai caving rescue, though I couldn’t tell you which one or which interview.
As he described to the interviewer a moment of panic and how he he overcame, the interviewer said, in one of those, summarise-last-answer-given-with-appropriate-levels-of-respect-in-order-to-proceed-to-next-question phrasing’s, “Wow, so you rose to the occasion -“
And the diver said, “No, actually people always get that exactly wrong. In an unexpected and urgent situation you don’t rise to the occasion. You sink to the level of your training.”
If there's anything that's stuck with me from my time in the military, it's the undercurrent of safety awareness. Preventing tripping hazards, being aware of surroundings, etc.
I distinctly remember being told that we do not think in terms of "if/when". We think "when/then".
Shit will hit the fan at some point. You can't know when, or how, but you can know what actions you will take when it does.
Fandom needs to go back to it’s roots of shipping without any expectation of canon agreement, shipping characters that have never even met, shipping characters from entirely different properties that came out decades apart, shipping just for fun, and generally speaking mostly not bothering the creators about it. Put fandom back in the shadows, being profitable has only made everything worse as grifters saw easy marks and forcing creators to play pattycake with fandom has led to so much open resentment.
i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything
“No, your grandma didn’t speak in tongues, but she did sob. You called her a dipshit.”
The best ship dynamic is actually just. "I love you and it terrifies me. I'm terrified how much I need you and how much I want you to need me. I'm terrified I'm no good for you and I'm going to hurt you and ruin you and I'm terrified of how I feel when you're around me but I can't bear to push you away completely because I'm terrified to be without you so now we're stuck in limbo and that's terrifying too. I'm terrified that if I lost you now it'd destroy me and I'm terrified that it's too late to do anything about it. I love you. And it's terrifying."
If the man didn’t make me nuts, I’d still be married to him.
THE PARENT TRAP (1998) dir. Nancy Meyers
why is it sooo hard to conclude essays. I said all that because fuck you thats why
My hack is treating my conclusion like I’m a lawyer making my closing arguments. It doesn’t make it less annoying, but I always love a chance to prove why I’m right 😂