Now I am become Death; the Destroyer of Worlds-DM

Hi! This is Gio's Tumblr. If you want more, come back with a subpoena.

[spicyraeman]

back on my freak shit

[thebestoftumbling]

How to fast honk

[mythbuster1128]

[fursonagay]

[rhythmtengoku]

"lola bunny space jam this, lola bunny feminist icon that" everyone shut up lola bunny space jam will never amount to whatever the hell was going on with her in the looney tunes show

[duckdotcom]

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

[cryptotheism]

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

[moonbeamdagger]

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep

[elodieunderglass]

Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out

[macleod]

[elodieunderglass]

Oh my goodness what an honor to be Calvin’s dad

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[alexaloraetheris]

Chocolate Guy's Wario

[homestarrunner]

New strategy to help with Coach Z’s addiction

[teaboot]

So how about that scary fish movie, huh

[teaboot]

An Addition:

[teaboot]

Hey buddy. what does this mean

[infimace-blog]

[advosart]

Your aura is rancid

[kabsey]

I experienced this in game.

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the descendants movies are so crazy because the premise is literally what if all of the disney animated movies happened at the same time and afterwards the Good Guys resurrected all of their villains to give them a life sentence on a penal colony island where the only natural resource is an unlimited supply of pleather

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

it's like 99% about how the kids of the various disney princesses® going to school together and having cellphones but also cruella de vil's bleach-haired bastard son is there. who even asked for cruella to be included. were the working class human protagonists from 101 dalmatians involved in the construction of the penal colony or did the dogs represent themselves. and how does cruella successful manage hobnobbing with three actual evil wizards. the series starts 20 years later so they can all have fuckass little kids going to school so maybe it's been long enough for those kinds of barriers to be broken down but it seems crazy that three genuine article practitioners of the dark arts let a woman whose main claim to notoriety was "failing to kill a vast quantity of puppies" into the friend group. and by friend group I mean a polycule barely a step above the grandparents from charlie and the chocolate factory in terms of functionality.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

in like the first 60 seconds you learn that after all of the disney animated movies happened at the same time all of the protagonists decided to merge their kingdoms into one mega kingdom and they democratically elected the beast, as in beauty and the, to be their Mega King who's more in charge than everyone else. the sociopolitical implications of all of the disney royalty deciding to surrender sovereignty to become The Empire of the Beast are kind of mind-blowing but it's hard to focus on that because new teenagers keep showing up and announcing "my name is Mo. you know, the daughter of Quasimodo?" I guess everyone defining themselves so strictly in terms of parentage and family line is sort of what you'd expect from a society that's basically structured the same was as game of thrones but christ.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the main plot of the first movie is that the 16 year old heir to the Empire of the Beast is about to be crowned god emperor while he's still in high school (why?) and reveals he has a bit of an abolitionist streak re: his parents' horrific penal colony. which is cool and all, it really seems like he must have had to fight against propaganda like a salmon swimming upstream to arrive at the conclusion that the penal colony is a little uncool. but also pretty immediately after he lets four villain kids into society maleficent's purple haired ne'er-do-well hits him with a love potion that leads him to unceremoniously dump his long-term girlfriend (baby sleeping beauty) in an extremely public spectacle after The Big Game. please my liege I know you're entranced by her purple hair and edgy spray painting but sleeping beauty is calling her bannermen to arms. this insult will not stand. also the effects of the love potion wear off almost immediately but he doesn't say ANYTHING and just lets his new gf keep sweating about having him ensorcelled until she brings it up herself, at which point he confirms that he's been aware for A While and is cool with her (successfully!!!) slipping him a magic roofie. they just keep dating and the only person mad about it is the girl who got dumped in front of the entire school.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the plot of the second movie is that maleficent jr is trying so hard to assimilate into normie culture (ie, being blond and wearing pastels) to be a good paramour to the new teen emperor that she has a nervous breakdown and runs away back to the penal colony. there she immediately finds herself beefing with ursula's daughter, who is big pissed that only four kids got to leave the penal colony and everyone else for left to rot. she decides to right this wrong by ALSO hitting the teen emperor with a love spell and gets /this/ close to successfully making him open the borders in front of everyone at prom before some bullshit circumstances happen and instead there's a fight between a giant cgi dragon and a giant cgi octopus girl. for the record the teen emperor is also not that mad about THIS love spell either and he does immediately concede that the octopus girl is a passionate community leader who raises valid concerns about his failure to follow through on his initial promise of amnesty for the children of the penal colony. he does get back with maleficent's daughter though, who has decided to be purple again to show that she now confidently lives in two cultures.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I've been talking a lot about maleficent's kid and you might be thinking "now what about the rest of her inseparable teen polycule" and I'm sorry to say that they simply are not getting as much sparkle as their colleague.

the evil queen from snow white's daughter has the next meatiest storyline, probably because these movies primarily exist to sell fashion dolls that can compete with mattel and they need kids to really like the girl characters. in the first movie she learns a very important lesson about how she doesn't need to act dumb to impress boys. in the latter two movies she becomes an independent business owner and by far the most politically savvy of the main 4, by which I mean she's the one vocally advocating for liberating the penal colony. she really grows into a very sweet and community-minded young lady and I liked her a lot.

cruella's son gets a dog in the first movie and an implausible heterosexual relationship in the second. in the third one he's just kind of there, although he does seem to have opened a sort of shelter for youths on the penal colony.

jafar's son who I haven't even mentioned yet is mostly there to be tall and do flips. in the first movie he learns that he likes sports more than stealing. in the second movie he forces the school fencing team to stop being sexist and let mulan's daughter join. crazy that sports are that sexist in a world where mulan and like presumably merida exist I guess but whatever. in the third movie he flirts with gaston's dumb-as-ham blond son for a few minutes and the two of them end up deciding to take a gap year and travel the world together which sounds fake but I swear to god is true.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

in the THIRD movie the sleeping beauty daughter decides she's sick of being nice and wants to go apeshitt and honestly she kind of eats it up. beating her requires teaming up with ursula's squid kid and her himbo pirate boys as well as maleficent jr's deadbeat dad who turns out to be hades. thanks to some dubious writing/acting/direction hades comes across as both very gay and like he's his own daughter's problematically older ex boyfriend. the vibes are all over the place and it's still definitely one of the stronger performances in these movies. anyway during this movie maleficent jr decides to permanently close the barrier to the penal colony to protect the empire of the beast because she's gone so model minority good immigrant that she's become a republican about it. everyone is understandably pissed at her about this when they find out but it's already the third act so they forgive her quickly and they end up bringing the borders down permanently anyway to the joy of all.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

there are two more movies but they're about a completely different set of characters and I haven't seen them yet so stay tuned I guess

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

what do you mean what's the lore on this what do these movies have to do with zendaya

[cb-0-deactivated20200813]

I’m sorry everyone, I just really needed to share my experience with RE2 so far.

[residentevilheritageposts]

Resident Evil heritage post

[voicesbyzane]

Have a question? Just ask reddit!

[shepardwasright]

My favorite was the WAP question being read in a voice that was clearly supposed to be Ben Shapiro 😂😂

[fuckyeahnirvannatheband]

[greenbloods]

re: the discussion about karma in asoiaf, i think it's so fascinating that one of the things that damns cersei in the end is her relationship with lancel. lancel is so constantly treated as a joke by the lannister kids in the earlier books, as an unimportant person, that it would have been easy for george to push him out of the narrative as soon as he outlasted his usefulness after the battle of blackwater bay. but the narrative cares about lancel, cares about his emotional state, about his victimization. it doesnt treat the fact that he was exploited by cersei as a vulnerable 16 year old as a joke like the other characters do.

the fact that lancel turns to the faith of the seven as a way to make sense of his trauma falls in line with how aeron and mel do the same for their own griefs, and the way that theon seems to turn to the old gods in the godswood after his own treatment--the physical descriptions of lancel and theon are strikingly similar. lancel and aeron and theon all seem to be aged severely by their trauma (while mel is the opposite, appearing youthful despite being the oldest living character of them all)

[greenbloods]

i guess in the end im just glad that lancel is taken seriously by the narrative, and that time and time again george takes the hopes and sorrows side characters as seriously as main characters. whether it's lancel or lancel or penny or eroeh or hazzea or the miller's boys, the one thing that is punished by the arc of the story time and again is the belief that certain people matter more than others

[greenbloods]

arya's decision to kill chiswyck because of how he raped and murdered layna is one of those storytelling choices that really show how the little people are prioritized in the narrative. like sure arya couldve used her jaqen h'ghar genie wishes on killing tywin or whatever. but the whole point is that layna mattered too. the death of mycah weighs heavily on arya and ned, and the fact that of all of the Hound's crimes it’s mycah’s murder that he stands on trial for at aryas insistence is significant as a story choice.

it's telling that arya's prioritization of the 'little guy' is reflected in all the starks in different ways. sansa saves dontos hollard. robb spares osha. jon saves the old man the freefolk tell him to kill. bran probably has a moment that im blanking on right now. rickon is four.

[greenbloods]

in a series where the meaning of heroism is constantly upheld and subverted in different ways by characters such as stannis and rhaegar and robb, it stands of note that the most consistent way a hero is identified by the narrative is how they uphold the worth of the ordinary person, even when it doesn't benefit them, even when it hurts them. lyanna “that’s my fathers man you’re kicking” stark, the knight of the laughing tree, stands up for howland reed. dunk kicks a prince of the crown for the sake of a puppet girl. maybe it's true that there's no such thing as a true hero, and that all honor is a mist that melts in the morning. but a common person is not "no one."

an ordinary person is worthy of being saved.

[glassshine]

[sergle]

this is so important

[lizardsfromspace]

The best variety of cryptid sighting is very region-locked mythical creature that's never reported as a "cryptid" reported in a place it shouldn't be

"Y'all, I saw a green-skinned creature with a bowl of water in its head" Okay you saw a kappa, what was a kappa doing in Alabama

[mihri-the-sasscatte]

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

[professorsparklepants]

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

[kittyopteryx]

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

[mooretimetoplay]

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

[necrowemancer]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/ This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

[jelloapocalypse]

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

[creepsandcrawlers]

FUCK ME  the reveal video

[threefeline]

“CHRIS??????”

[tanoraqui]

“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”

[8bitmickey]

[island-delver-go]

Always reblog Y'gathok

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

always ALWAYS reblog Y'gathok!