feeling things is exhausting

trying to cope with that good ol' c/ptsd | trauma | abuse

[amycravenonline]

😂 slipper socks…

[traumasurvivors]

A list of blog posts on things (mostly trauma related) that I think should be talked about more. Please note that all links are from my personal trauma website. (There are no pop ups or anything like that and it is a safe site to use.)

Advice

Creating and Enforcing Boundaries

Grounding Techniques

How to Listen to Someone Talk About Their Trauma

How to Talk to a Loved One About Your Trauma

Navigating Sex After Trauma

Navigating Traumaversaries

Tips and Questions for Finding a Therapist

Trauma Around the Holidays

Informative

False Memories

Forgiveness and Healing

Grooming in Adult Relationships

Hypersexuality and Sex Repulsion

Parentification Trauma

Trauma Imposter Syndrome

Triggers

Self-harm

The Validity of Anger in Your Healing Journey

Victim Blaming

Was it Bad Enough?

Who You Were Before Trauma

Why Childhood Abuse is Never Your Fault

Why Do I Love and/or Miss My Abuser?

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

Why Survivors May Delay Reporting or Don’t Report At All

PS: I am always looking for more ideas of topics that you’d like to hear about. Don’t hesitate to let me know any suggestions or things you’d like to see discussed more. 

[love-notes-to-survivors]

Also, there is no "worse" trauma. What defines whether or not something is traumatic is not the event itself, but how our brain responds to it. It's our perception of the event that makes it traumatic to us.

So, there is no worse trauma. Trauma should not be compared. There are things that anyone would find traumatic that I didn't develop PTSD over and there are "minor" things over which I've developed severe PTSD.

Nobody has the right to tell somebody how something should affect them or to compare one traumatic experience to another to determine which was more traumatic and which has the right to affect someone more. And that goes for any kind of trauma.

[invictus1875]

Relationships with toxic parents be like............ I miss you. I can't stand you. Why did you stop loving me? Did you ever start? I want to forgive you. I don't. I can't. Hold me. Don't touch me. Why won't you look at me? I never want to see you again. I inherited your smile. I inherited your pain. Are you proud of me? I don't care what you think. I want to cry in your arms. I'm scared of you. I won. I lost so much. I don't want you in my life. Can we try again? You are nothing to me. You were everything to me. I loved you. I hate you. Love me. Love me. Love me.

[traumasurvivors]

A lot of people say that anger doesn’t belong in healing. And that’s not true. 

While our anger can sometimes be destructive and hurt us or others, that isn’t always the case. 

Sometimes, our anger is us realizing that we didn’t deserve what happened to us. And in some cases, it means that we are no longer blaming ourselves. For a lot of us, that is a huge step. 

Your anger is valid and okay.  Anger becomes an issue when you allow it to consume you and hurt you or others. The feeling itself is not inherently bad, and it can actually be a good thing. 

[traumasurvivors]

To my fellow child abuse survivors, 

You were not abused because you were “bad.” You were abused because they were an abuser and trying to justify their abusive behaviours. 

PS: There is no justification for abuse. 

[im-traumatised]

Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive

Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive

Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive !!!!

[defiantsuggestions]

Love isnt something you can earn or deserve. Love is something that is given by choice.

Try not to think of your connections with others as something you do or don't deserve. It doesn't work like that. If you have to jump through hoops to 'earn' affection, then the person making you do that doesn't have your best interests in mind.

[ptsdeer]

I think there is a very specific bitterness and pain that accompanies the realisation and reluctant acceptance that you lost your childhood and adolescence to trauma and mental illness, and it's something that people can't appreciate unless they've lived it too. Well meaning but utterly clueless people my age tell me "well I can't believe that I'm this age either!" and people older than me say things like "we all feel like we didn't make the best of our youth!" but I know that it isn't the same .

there is a deep longing in me for the safety of an innocent childhood, or the carefree turmoil of a rebellious adolescence that can never be realised . theres a deep sense that im a little girl or an unruly teenager . theres a reluctance , or inability, to accept that im an adult, that life didnt stop then , that the world didnt wait for me, time kept going and it left me behind.

how can I already be an adult when i never had the chance to be a child?

[furiousgoldfish]

For all of you who are scared that if you don’t snap out of  trauma and start building your life now, your future will be lost forever - it won’t. 

I know it’s scary, I know it’s painful, watching everyone else progress, grabbing and making opportunities, while you’re stuck, in pain, dissociated, your brain refusing to do anything but seep panic into your blood - this will not be how you end. People start up their life at any age, everything will not be lost by the time you get yourself back. As long as you stay alive it will be right where you left it. The ‘regular’ progress of things doesn’t count in that you’re traumatized out of your mind before you even get to begin. They don’t count in the recovery time before you can chase a goalpost. You are not worse or inadequate in comparison to others - your reality demands a shift of expectations, and nobody acknowledges it. 

If your life had an uninvited trauma phase, it needs to have a recovery phase too. And you’re not alone. A lot of us are standing still, uncertain, and panicking. The strength we hold inside is unavailable and we don’t get to see it shine now, but we will. We will get to it. We will find everything good inside of us that nobody can see right now. Once we stand up, nothing is ever again going to stand in our way.

[asitwasrecovery]

main blog: @asitwasphotography

[only-knives]

hey. it's okay to feel and express negative emotions. you're allowed to experience the entire array of emotions available to you. you do not have to silence these feelings.

negative emotions aren't at all pleasant to experience, but they often tell you something is wrong. and it's okay for something to be wrong. you don't have to be okay all the time.

you aren't doing anything wrong by not being okay or having complaints. especially if the cause of that is someone else committing a wrong against you. that isn't your fault. you don't need to don't punish yourself for something someone did to you.

[missingvibrance]

[defiantsuggestions]

No child deserves to feel like their existence is a burden.

No child deserves to feel like they shouldn't exist.

No child deserves to hate themself.

No child deserves to live their life in fear of angering their parents.

No child deserves to live their life in fear of disappointing their parents.

Children deserve to be loved. They deserve to feel safe, cared for, and wanted. They deserve to enjoy their life.

It is never the child's fault when the parent fails to provide these things. It is the parents fault.

The child never asked to be born. It is the parent who wanted this, and therefore it is the parent's responsibility.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Falling apart does not erase the progress you've made. You're allowed to fall apart sometimes.

[bpdohwhatajoy]

I’m not a person. I’m just symptoms and a trauma response.

[siphonophore-collective-deactiv]