we be vibin

🏳️‍🌈 gay as hell boi🏳️‍🌈

[yuqis-ifty]

Hollanov breeding kink/baby fever fanworks for me are so interesting cause realistically Shane would HATE being knocked up, even single second of it, would genuinely quit his real estate fetish just to NEVER have to deal with that.

However, the idea is hot enough that they could fuck and fuck around with the idea for a little over 20k words if given the chance, and I think that's the true beauty of mpreg in the first place.

[ferdge]

I feel like position isn't going to be renewed this year.

The school I work at doesn't have the budget to keep 11 teachers and is going down to 10 for all three grade levels. I'm endorsed for math, reading, and ESL. I'm the only non-tenured general education teacher left. I'm also not endorsed in social studies, which my school has each teacher in a 3 person team, teach one class of it.

I can read the writing on the wall. It would take months that I dont have to get a social studies endorsement. I think this is it for me at this school. Its okay though. I'm not to torn up about it. Yes, there are people that I'll miss here (my coteachers, some friends I've made, my team) but all things happen for a reason.

This is just the next step in a very long journey. I'm Tier 2, so I'll be teaching for at least another 40 years until I retire. In 5 years I probably won't even care.

I'm just glad I got a heads up on someone getting cut.

[all-for-hr]

A twitter-famous puck bunny (she makes it her whole brand) makes an AMA on Reddit about the hockey players she’s managed to net

PuckBun32 gets asked how she manages to bag them, and the answer is pretty simple: show up to the city they’re playing in and go to the best sports bar (or club) in town wearing the jersey of the player she’s hoping to bag. Redditors in the comments are like, yeah that checks out

But then PuckBun32 gets asked who the most famous player she ever netted is. Her answer was a jaw-dropping “Depends on whether you consider Shane Hollander or Ilya Rozanov the most famous player.” Naturally, this gets hockey Redditors in an absolute uproar. Because Shane Hollander? THEE Shane Hollander???? Details of his sex life are more tightly guarded than the Coca Cola formula!

Redditors spend a minute or two arguing about the logistics of which player, exactly, could be considered the most famous. Fortunately, one clever Redditor gets everyone back on track with a follow-up question: Who was better in bed?

PuckBun32’s reply is faster than expected. “Rozanov was better at fucking, Hollander was better at oral.”

Reddit goes wild. This was not the answer anyone was expecting. Well, everyone was more or less expecting Rozanov to be the better lay, but Shane Hollander better at going down on a woman? One Redditor remarks “I guess that’s why his chirping is so shit. He’s saving that mouth for more important things.” In the days to come, Metros (and Shane Hollander) fan blogs would make that comment go viral

The last thing PuckBun32 gets asked before she concludes the AMA is: Where you wearing their jerseys when you netted them, or were you wearing a different player’s jersey and traded up when you had the opportunity?

PuckBun32’s answer leaves everyone absolutely gobsmacked. “That’s actually a really funny story. When I netted Hollander, it was after a Montreal-Boston game. I was wearing a Rozanov jersey. And when I netted Rozanov, it was also after a Montreal-Boston game, but I was wearing a Hollander jersey that time hoping to run into him for a repeat performance. Not complaining though!”

PuckBun32 says her goodbyes and leaves the forum. After a full minute of silence from the Redditors, someone finally comments “Leave it to Hollander and Rozanov to have a rivalry so intense, they have to fuck each others’ puck bunnies about it.” About 80% of the hockey Redditors run with that theory, the other 20% are very much raising eyebrows at this. Their voices are easily drowned out by the still-present shock of Hollander having a magic tongue.

Screenshots of the AMA spread like wildfire. By the next day, a few more women come out of the woodwork to say that they, too, have experienced the wonders of being eaten out by Shane Hollander. None of them have had experience with Ilya Rozanov (yet), but they make it known that they would be very interested to contribute to the study of who is better in bed. Rozanov responds to a couple of them with a wink emoji, but no promises about anything. He and Hollander are obviously trending for the entirety of the week

After the next Raiders game, Ilya is on press and gets asked to comment on the recent update in the Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. Ilya answers, “Most important thing first: is Rozanov-Hollander. Not Hollander-Rozanov. Best player come first, always. Next import thing: people are forgetting that I am best at stick-handling. This online woman was very honest when she said that. Is right of her to say. I am best with stick, yes. Always have been, always will be.”

Everyone is too busy laughing to notice the vein pulsing along Ilya’s jaw. The sharpness in his eyes. The accent thickening with barely restrained emotion. The few fans who picked up on in would refer to it as seething jealousy. Wow, Rozanov must really hate being shown up by Hollander in bed, huh? The next Metros-Boston game was absolutely brutal. Rozanov was checking Hollander into the boards left and right, to the point where Hollander started checking back as good as he got. Hopeful women (and some men) flooded all the sports bars and cool clubs in the area with Hollander and Rozanov jersey after heated the game was over. Some Metro players were spotted in a couple of locations, a few Raiders players were spotted in others.

Rozanov and Hollander were nowhere to be seen.

[jewelcoatfish]

harris comes up with a really funny prank idea where the centaurs would go up to shane during practice and tell him some outrageous thing his husband did, and basically gauge his reaction. this allows for domestic hollanov™ content and shane hollander being #strict.

what they didn’t expect, however, was shane inventing new levels of downbadisms and basically defends his husband and/or justifying his actions every time. he basically “yeah but” his way to ilya being a perfect angel who can do no wrong

ilya was waiting (giddily) for a stern talking to from his husband and instead melts into a puddle

[eroscestlavie]

Genuinely incredible single serve site I just found: a guy made a search tool so you can find completely empty AMC movie screenings in your area and enjoy a private or near-private theatre.

[myownpribaterustvelt]

And torture the employees by being the single person showing up lmfao

[eroscestlavie]

Unless I’m wrong, surely the employees at a movie theater have to be at work and run the screening regardless of whether someone buys a ticket?

[faunlord]

It might be different depending on the theater, but when I worked at one, the only time this would be a significant issue was if it was at the end of the night and most of the screenings were empty (especially if it was a long movie). And even then, it was really only a problem for the manager, everyone else got to go home. Mostly bc they didn’t want to pay more than one person to sit for two hours doing nothing while one customer watches the 11 PM Endgame or whatever.

[emo-nova]

Shen twins but with the vibe of "I had a twin" where both think they survived but thinks the other is dead. Shen Yuan is a wandering cultivator, trying (and barely) coping with this grief while being self-destructive by saving and teaching kids from slavery.

Whereas, Shen Jiu is as canon.

That is until the Trial, where Shen Yuan arrives because he is not going to let someone other than him get the glory of burning down the Qiu estate. The twins do not have a normal reaction to finding the other is alive.

[lavenderprose]

Some things that the Centaurs hear while sharing a locker room/hotel/bus/plane with Hollonov that blast open their communal third eye with regards to what Shane and Ilya have going on:

- "Show it to me. I know you got hit, show me. Mm. Is very painful? Mm. You on your side tonight, I think."

- "No, my baby, you'll come to Monk's. Drink two beers, talk to people who are not me. Mm, no, not Troy either. He is basically shorter you."

- "...just a little longer, I think, and then maybe a trim, just so is not in your eyes when you skate--"

- "Ah, no, he doesn't like drinking his coffee black. Oat milk, two sugars. I know what he does but is not what he likes. What, Shane, do I lie?"

- "Give me number. Ah-ah. One higher, I think. I know you like even numbers, baby."

- "Ask nicely."

- "...and then I take you home and--fuck off, Dykstra, I am coming onto my husband. You never heard of flirting? We are in the back of bus, it was private until you came back here--"

- "Here, made you tea. Something special in it for you."

- "...lunch from that Greek place? Nice. Okay, Shane will have--"

- "...thin walls, huh? Bet they can hear you. Let them hear you. Say my name. Yes, baby, fuck. Louder."

[aslongasitsblack]

- “Good boy.”

[ferdge]

Me: not able to fall asleep bc I'm so congested

Me: maybe I should take the day off work tomorrow

Me: I was really struggling with 57-2 this morning, maybe I should have taken today off too

Me: I should go write my sub plans

Me: fuck why is writing so hard

[danpilled]

sure, ilya's jealousy over rose is funny because shane is gay and his sex life with rose was so bad she had to intervene and make shane come out to her. however we failed to consider that ilya genuinely cannot fathom shane being bad in bed. anytime they've slept together it was under-negotiated kink heaven for both of them, so he literally cannot wrap his head around the fact that rose is not looking for a repeat performance. he did not see shane go through the five stages of grief at the thought of having to fuck his gorgeous movie star girlfriend. so to him rose being in shane's life post breakup can only mean one thing: she still wants that cookie badddd

[hothockey]

Hard agree with your point about people being weirdly afraid of acknowledging Ilya as a dom. Like yes Ilya is obsessed with Shane and would give him the moon if he could but he’s also very much enjoying putting Shane through the ringer. Like this is very much enjoyable for both of them why are people so squeamish to acknowledge Ilya is also getting pleasure out of being sadistic to Shane? They are very happy with that arrangement lmfao

they are rly squeamish about it! it sucks! its puritanical! they're afraid understanding honestly. intimidated by the scope and the implications of BDSM, as a culture and a practice and a personal expression of sexuality tbqh. some misunderstandings are malicious, some unintentional, perhaps, and some defensive.

i think, to admit that people like to cause pain for pleasure, is to be faced w the people that cause pain of all types. consensual and not. addressing and assessing the acts and motivations of people in the world injuring others non-consensually through things like serious bodily harm, discrimination or harassment, etc. requires an acknowledgement of victims and survivors of this power abuse, and therefore, fundamentally, an acknowledgement of the abuse in the first place. and an ensuring obligation to prevent this action out of compassion and understanding. it's not always that big a deal in fandom, but these societal roots are around us, as we engage w media objects. that cannot be ignored.

and people don't wanna think abt that. don't wanna face that. it's much easier to lump all actions that cause pain bodily to another human through dominance into one 'morally depraved sexually deviant' pile. and then to shunt away that pile in a dark corner. not to be seen. not to be discussed. the depths of this are mighty and institutionalized and none of us are immune.

so, people will pull out dominating partners from these corners their own imprinted biases put them into and say, "wait look, i like him. he looks so soft and so sweet and so in service to his partner in all these other moments actually, that makes him different than all the other violent people!! he's not violent! he's gentle! he's a gentle dom bc he cares about his partner, look at him hugging his partner. :)) that's how i can like his domination without addressing anything."

but that itself is a denial. a trade. that fundamentally equates painful pleasure with unwanted violence. it shows a need to create false dichotomies and rigid social scripts by artificially amplifying softness to take the place of sadism, and then denying sadism. implying again, that softness is the only path to caring or fucking or loving that is valid and acceptable.

so, when we do see dominant sadism and actually discuss it, we delineate consensual dominance and sadism into its own substantial, intricate, legitimate human expression. and we affirm it. when we discuss it openly for what it is, a conversation and an exchange bw willing parties, it becomes encouraged in a healthy, nuanced, helpful, fundamentally queer way, bc it challenges the status quo of systems that facilitate abuse, discrimination, and heteronormativity. there is a reason there is always kink at pride, our history is full of chains and leather and metaphors stamped into blood.

shane and ilya are queer. they're into kink. they're into power exchange. they're into BDSM. they're happy and eh, moderately healthy abt it in a v human and closeted repression olympics way. they're trying their best. you can be with someone and want the same things and go about it all fucking nasty and messed up. that's not unique to sex. it's genuinely okay that they fuck up sometimes.

we see it in the show (and it is meta-textually emphasized by jacob t. and others), that ilya is sly. ilya IS obsessed w shane and wants to hold him so tenderly. but he also enjoys causing shane that discomfort and seeing him through it. it satisfies a similar place in him. ilya enjoys putting shane on his knees, ordering him around, making him cry in public, cutting 'deals' that are patently skewed towards ilya's wants and shane is destined to fail, pulling shane's hair, slapping shane, overwhelming him with pleasure, making him come while on a call w his bestie, giving him bruises, pinning his wrists down, play acting NON-CON free-use with him, rough-housing and fighting with him, slamming him into surfaces, making him perform, forcing shane to express his desire, making him uncomfortable and off balance, making shane beg for it, making shane do things, dominating shane in a way that shane likes, dominating shane in a way that hurts shane! ilya's sadism and dominance is the driving force in their sexual interactions moreso or as much as shane's masochism and submission. and this is what they both like.

and it's hot. it's really, really hot. on screen, in front of us in technicolor HD.

and that makes people confront it. and that makes them scared and try to sort it back into that lil soft VS. violent box. but not everything belongs in a box. sometimes it belongs in a loving bruise, instead.

[shanyshko]

you know i think ilya would get off on choosing shane's clothes for him. shane doesn't really care about fashion so much as looking acceptable for the situation, so when ilya asks to style him before charity galas and important dinners and re-do his array of game day suits, it's not exactly a hard sell.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

one day, ilya thinks, he'll walk in with the hottest man in the nhl on his arm. he'll put him in diamonds and a fur coat, and they'll all know. but for now he just pats shane's chest and sends him out with cuff links that have ilya's initials engraved.

[ferdge]

I just had a regular soda after like a month of only drinking diet and yall... I dont think I can go back

[the-big-mood]

[wizardshark]

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

[sexshopshenanigans]

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

[becquerel]

i love when people on the internet get denied stuff and you find the most innovative minds of the generation dedicated to making goddamn sure other people get what they want come hell or high water

[becquerel]

[sorrow-hollow]

Okay but I get this. All of you worms who have things blocked on your wifi or whatever and have IbisPaint this is how you do it

Open IbisPaint go to a canvas (any canvas, or make. a new one)

Select the font tool (if you don’t know what or where that is, press the tool icon (normally a paint brush or eraser) and press the T button

From there you should be able to create a text box (writing is not important…). Find the font button and add a new font. I can’t remember what it’s called but you’ll know when you see it

It’ll automatically search for you “free fonts.” Do not follow this. Your app is misdirecting you. Instead search up whatever it is you’re looking for in the search bar, and that should work

Knowledge should not be trapped behind bars, bend and break them until you can grasp it

[lavenderprose]

hello i would like to hear more about your shane and tongue kissing headcanon when you have time

Hmm. Let's see if I've thought about this enough to form coherent sentences about it.

The TL;DR of this whole thing is that Shane is a dyed in the wool pillow princess when it comes to kissing and that both he and Ilya like it that way. That's the headcanon.

The terribly long-winded explanation is this:

Shane had a girlfriend when he met Ilya, as we know. A girlfriend that he liked well enough and probably didn't think about as much as he should have. Textbook comphet, which Shane will realize in hindsight when he's thirty and married to a man. But Shane at seventeen has a girlfriend and a crush on Ilya Rozanov that he has relentlessly gaslit himself into perceiving as sensible admiration of an equally-matched player and latent rivalry being born.

What do teenagers do? In my experience, a lot of kissing. And kissing can BE sex. It's low-stakes compared to everything else but when you're seventeen it feels very...adventurous, for lack of a better term. It's all very new. Canonically, with book Shane, there was some petting and some oral stuff in the mix. But these were probably not the main event in a lot of cases. When Yuna stepped out to run down to the bank and David was at work and Shane and his high school girlfriend were alone in the house for ten minutes, they probably made out.

Shane finds it difficult to get out of his head. This is known. He wants to be perfect at everything, first try. Assuming that his girlfriend was equally inexperienced, as teenagers overwhelmingly are, then she probably didn't have much to compare him to. That probably didn't stop Shane from being in his head about it. How much tongue is too much? And how should he move it? And he's a man, he's by default expected to be the 'aggressor', the one to take charge--but should she initiate it? Should he let her decide when to introduce the tongues? Not to mention being in his head about, like, the million other things you think about when you're talking about bodies. Smell and taste and the appeal of those things.

So he's never been able to turn his head off about kissing. Especially the kind of kissing that involves tongues. Shane's discomfort with the physical aspects of their relationship is, imo, a major driving force in Shane breaking up with his girlfriend after the draft. He just can't figure out how to be comfortable with her. These issues will come up again with Rose, but in the intervening years he'll have convinced himself that he was simply young and inexperienced with that girlfriend, or maybe just not into her, because--

Because with Ilya, it is so immediately different. And it starts with the way they kiss. Shane never really got turned on by the kissing, you know? Like yeah, it was nice. Or whatever. It was fun, if he felt like he was doing good at it that day. And he'd get hard if things escalated, because he was seventeen and of course he's going to get hard if there's a hand on his dick.

But Ilya puts Shane against the wall and kisses him and Shane is just...immediately turned on. Immediately aching. He's never felt anything like it in his life. He's been hard before, fucking of course he has, but the way that it feels like Ilya's body is causing it is so completely new. And the kissing is a big part of it.

Ilya likes to just start tongue first. Shane is laying on that bed in room 1410 and Ilya's tongue is in his mouth and it feels like a fucking epiphany. There's no question of should there be tongues. When there should be tongues. How long do they kiss before the tongues happen, how do the tongues get introduced, how much tongue should there be--

Ilya just. Does it. Puts his tongue in Shane's mouth. It's one of the hottest things that's ever happened to Shane. And it keeps happening. Ilya comes at him at the beginning of a hook-up and Shane knows that all he has to do ALL HE HAS TO DO is open his mouth. And that's gotta be a relief. That's gotta feel so fucking good for someone who couldn't get out of his head enough as a teenager to let himself do teenager things.

We see Ilya initiate almost all of their kisses (A major exception being Room 1221, but Ilya immediately begins to dom Shane after the initial kiss and the kiss is relatively? chaste). We SEE Ilya go tongue-first. And yes, of course we've seen Shane kiss all over Ilya's face, we've seen him kiss Ilya's LAP, but I've looked for it and we just--we don't see Shane move his tongue the way Ilya does.

In the end, like I said, it's an element of Ilya's casual dominance. As much as Shane feels better when he's being submissive, when he's letting Ilya control their sex and drive the narrative of their hookups because Shane just DOES NOT want the responsibility of thinking, Ilya feels better when he's dominating Shane. In moments of lost control, it makes him feel better to have Shane in front of him, pliant and willing and outright asking Ilya to take control. That's one of the reasons I find the Tampa scene so compelling. Their dominant-submissive relationship is on full display in that scene, even though Shane is the one offering comfort and Ilya is being comforted. In order to comfort Ilya, Shane places himself INTO a position of submission. And then he lets Ilya put his tongue in his mouth.

To make it perfectly clear: This is not me saying that Shane is a straight up pillow princess. I truly believe that nothing could be farther from the truth. Shane Hollander gives head like his mom was a hoover and his dad was a car wash. There's nothing pillow princess about that, or the way he backs it THE FUCK up when he thinks Ilya is taking too long to put it in. This is a phenomenon that exists EXCLUSIVELY for kissing--and sometimes not even kissing during sex, because we've seen Shane bite Ilya's lips. But with regards to, for lack of a better term, making out? Yes, all evidence points to Shane being quite happily passive about it, and Ilya enjoying that aspect of their sex. The hands are moving! The hips are moving! But the lips are saying "Fuck me with your tongue while I lay here and take it."

So. Yeah.

The coherence of this is, indeed, questionable. And you might have different perceptions! But yeah. Those are my thoughts.

[wisedo]

SQQ told LQG about the mushroom body AU

[lofidoodles]

resting