Fidgety Hands

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[sparrownnax]

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I wish general society acknowledged that "boy moms" are often incredibly abusive. They are controlling and manipulative and they often isolate their sons (and daughters, boy moms are deeply misogynistic) from other family members, friends, and especially romantic partners. There is a reason why so many men who grew up with "boy moms" struggle to stand up to their mothers even as adults with partners and children of their own; it's because years and decades of emotional abuse and manipulation make it extremely difficult to both stand up to your abuser AND to even recognize it as abuse in the first place, especially when your abuser has spent your entire life telling you that they're the only person on your side and everyone is out to get her.

This isn't a justification for the way that these men treat their own partners and children and put them below their moms, but I really think we need to talk about this like the abuse it is and recognize that it's extremely difficult to move past abuse and trauma when you don't even have those words to explain your experiences.

(Do NOT tag this as narcissistic abuse; linking abuse with disorders instead of behaviors is ableist and makes it incredibly difficult for people to get mental health care and talk about their experiences with their illnesses. Most abusers don't have NPD and most people with NPD are totally fine and wonderful friends, partners, and parents.)

[wiisagi-maiingan]

"Why do so many men put up with their moms manipulating them/pushing aside their partners/taking over their weddings/etc?"

The same reason why so many adults brush off their dad beating them as kids. The same reason why so many women don't bat an eye at how controlling their boyfriends and husbands are. Because that abuse is normal to them and it is painful and difficult to recognize how awful it really is, especially when the abuse is coming from someone that you love and don't want to hurt.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

We do not need to make this into a "if the genders were reversed than maybe people would actually care" thing because the fact is that the genders ARE reversed and people DON'T care.

Men often see their daughters not just as their property but also as essentially wives for them, holding the same role in the household and "hierarchy" as the wife/mother does.

Men are obsessed with their daughters' bodies and relationships and will control every aspect of their daughters' lives, from what she wears to who she's allowed to date to what medical care she is allowed to receive. Many men still perform "virginity checks" on their daughters. Many arranged marriages happen because men think it is their right to control who their daughters marry. Girls who get pregnant young and are forced to keep the pregnancy talk about their fathers often treating them like wives and acting they're couples raising the babies together.

This is normalized in a way even boy moms aren't; many mothers not only recognize how their husbands treat their daughters as extra wives, they also see their own daughters as competition! Men force their daughters and step-daughters into playing house with them and then those girls are blamed for it by the women in their lives!

The fact is that this abuse is always to be brushed over and ignored as long as 1) women and girls are defined by the men in their lives, whether that's their fathers or husbands or sons and 2) children are seen as the property of their parents. This abuse happens because parents feel entitlement to their children's lives and bodies and that is, to most of society, a completely acceptable belief.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Like I need you all to think about how normal it is for young girls to be relegated to the kitchen and other "homemaking" tasks that their brothers aren't expected to do. How many girls, at family events and holidays, end up in the kitchen with their mothers and older sisters and aunts and the other women of the family to make the food and serve the men who get to watch the game or drink beer or play games together. How many girls, too young to understand the implications, are raised to serve their fathers and brothers even through simple things like bringing meals and drinks to them so that they aren't serving themselves.

This is training those girls to be wives. This is men AND women pushing their daughters to occupy the same space in the household as the wife and mother does. This is men treating their daughters as an Extra Wife™

[lazer-exe]

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

[emilysidhe]

Knitting finished as of last night! Still need to weave in a few ends, wash, and block.

Was aiming for 48” x 60”, came out 39” x 60” so far, but I’m hoping to be able to block it to a little wider and I’m ok losing a few inches of length for that

[starlitbeetle]

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.

[sanguine-scales]

i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin

[sanguine-scales]

a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

graffiti discourse is so stupid why the hell would I give a shit if people spraypaint their names or do some cool paintings under a bridge

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

sorry didn't realize the bridge has to be plain beige concrete. that was a load bearing plain beige concrete if anyone tags it the whole bridge collapses

[nyandotexe]

No the advertisement posters are structurally vital to the bridge's construction. Why do you ask?

[innerchildabortionclinic]

wish online communities discussing autism in women weren't like, doing their best to contribute to the false perception there's a distinct Autism For Boys and Autism For Girls, when the whole time it's just social enforcement of gender roles influencing behavior

[femalegothic]

men just love to run their fucking mouth about what women do or do not want without even once considering consulting any actual women on the matter

How Women’s Sports Uniforms Became So Controversial, Long Before The Paris Olympics

Nike’s viral track kit is just one part of the story.

Faced with restrictive and uncomfortable uniforms, these women athletes fought to change their gear

(cnn) — When Olympian Tess Howard put on her new uniform for Great Britain’s women’s field hockey team in 2021, she

Women’s beach handball team fined for choosing shorts over bikini bottoms | CNN

The Norwegian women’s beach handball team has been fined after players opted to wear shorts instead of bikini bottoms during a European cham

Top female athletes speak out amid Olympics, defy convention through their uniforms

Female athletes are breaking with their sports' apparel conventions -- if not regulations -- to prioritize their comfort during competitions

Women’s Uniforms: judgement of women clutters sports front

Sports Commentary Historically, women in sports have not garnered the same respect as men, though they perform the same tasks and play the s

An Olympic medalist who refused to compete in bikini bottoms says skimpy outfits are putting women off athletics

Pole vaulter Holly Bradshaw refused to wear the customary bikini bottoms and crop tops favored by the majority of female athletes.

Underlying Injustices: Female Athlete Uniforms

According to Women in Sport, 78 percent of girls avoid participating in sports while on their period. 78 percent.  CEO of Women in Sport, St

[marzipanandminutiae]

also this is part of a disturbing but sadly not uncommon attitude that progress = women (specifically women most of the time) showing more skin. because not showing skin is "following irrational religious modesty mandates" like the man on twitter says

somehow being progressive and secular automatically means putting women's bodies on display (although of course these people would shame women showing that much skin because they chose to). gee, I wonder why...

(to be clear, religious concealing clothing should also be respected as long as it's voluntary!)

[leebrontide]

Even if it was true that AFAB nonbinary people and trans men's gender identities come from a desire to escape misogyny (it is certainly not the usual reason but hey, life is a rich tapestry, never say never, etc) the demands of TERF rhetoric still don't make any sense? The feminist thing to do for those folks would still be using the correct pronouns, excuse them from women's expectations, and facilitate/support transition.

What is the alternative? "Women can do anything! :) Except! Chose the language they use for themselves or have agency in how others talk to /about them! :) Or refrain from gendered social and behavioral expectations! :) Or have bodily autonomy! :)"

It's not very good feminism if it still makes compulsory anything that you, personally, have decided is key to femininity. Whether that's "having breasts" or "using she/her pronouns" or whatever you've decided "women's solidarity" looks like.

(Transition related medical interventions consistently have some of the lowest regret rates of like...anything a person can do and almost ALL of the regret people do experience is because of people like TERFs and other misogynists harassing them about it.)

If your solidarity demands people perform femininity in ways they don't want to, then your idea of solidarity has nothing to do with feminism.

And frankly, acting like AMAB nonbinary people and trans women must have ulterior motives to transitioning is...pretty anti-woman? If femininity is so precious to you why would you assume that nobody who didn't have it forced on them would ever want to interact with it?

[catsofyore]

Before the internet kittens had to call everyone individually to explain how small and cute they were. Ca. 1920 - 1935. Source.

[duckbunny]

media literacy includes understanding why a media product was made, to whom it's being sold, and the assumed preferences of its marketing demographic. narrative is not produced or sold in a vacuum.

[duckbunny]

you might be totally correct that your ship would be narratively satisfying. I don't know, I'm not watching your show. Whether your ship is likely to happen on the show is a whole different question to whether it's satisfying, because the show is being sold to Netflix or Amazon or the BBC, and they are purchasing a show they think they can market to a particular demographic and that demographic isn't you, the nightmarishly online tumblr user. The show is being made for marketability to a constructed average viewer. It is being funded with that audience in mind. This art is being made to commission, and commissioned art is art, but at some point you have to stop expecting the Church to commission a statue of Lucifer fucking St Michael. It might be narratively satisfying, but that's just not what they're paying for.

[artofmaquenda]

I love how color can tell a story. In this case, it reflects the way I tend to see colors within colors, layers unfolding into more layers, endlessly connected, just like life and the universe itself. Everything contains something else, and every small detail is part of a much larger story.

Maybe that’s also why childhood memories feel so vivid to me. As a child, the world is experienced through all lenses at once, with fewer filters and less judgement and a heightened sense of awareness. Sounds, smells, colors, textures, and sensations are all felt more intensely, not necessarily because they carry a specific meaning, but because they are so immediate and alive.

[the-big-mood]

The process of carefully layering and then cleanly unmolding a rainbow jelly cake

[deathcomequickly]

Andrea Spencer Glassworks

Whoa.

[jensorensen]

The FCC just approved the test launch of a space mirror-bearing satellite from a company called Reflect Orbital. The plan is to test one mirror this year, and scale up to a "constellation" of 50,000 by 2035. For more background on why space mirrors are a bad idea, I recommend this Scientific American article from last year.

Follow me on Bluesky or Mastodon

[fer1972]

Portrait of a small boy reading by Gluyas Williams