Fig Tree & Vine

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[pusheen]

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[farisyawritesfic]

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

[whitmerule]

Perfect example of an untranslatable joke. 😂

[viralthings]

We asked the waiter to take a photo of us at dinner

[justcallmedom31]

Praise Satan ;3

[teaboot]

Fake fans didn't even read the book

[teaboot]

The Bible doesn't include God making queers because it wasn't relevant to His journey

[figtreeandvine]

I am some flavor of agnostic, but with an academic interest in theology, and I can tell you that any statement starting "Satan created..." is by definition a heresy in Christianity.

The idea that God created the good things and Satan or the Devil created the bad things is dualism, putting the Devil as an equal but opposite force to God. There was a whole crusade against the Cathars in France in the 13th century CE over this. Christian orthodoxy maintains that Satan cannot create--that is a power reserved to God.

Might be a little weasel-wording there with "Satan made..." but I doubt it was intentional. Evangelical churches tend to be woefully ignorant of their own theology.

Mind you, it's a very common Christian heresy, more common in the folk tradition than in the church hierarchy.

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[figtreeandvine]

I feel a suicidal urge to run my fingers through her wet fur. Like, bad bad! idea, but I want to.

[pancakeke]

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

[pancakeke]

[pancakeke]

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

[mangonetics]

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

[pancakeke]

OKAY FINE JESUS

[pancakeke]

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong

[salvadordante]

The other name for Vaseline is evil tho. Petroleum jelly 💀

[pancakeke]

yeah omg some people were calling me out for using a "brand" but i am NOT calling it that. SORRY.

[pancakeke]

listen here, smart ass...

[figtreeandvine]

Not yet, not yet, SOON!

[memewhore]

[official-mugi]

This is probably the most inclusive post ever made on Tumblr

[hoodiegal]

“What country is this about?”

“Yes.”

[beardedmrbean]

[moniquill]

[figtreeandvine]

I just pet Ceniza and she sleepily objected. Because I needed to scratch her itchy chin instead.

[teaboot]

Huh. That actually makes me wonder how much the "oh cats are such picky eaters" thing is from offering cats food that has something actually wrong with it that's perceptible to cats but not humans. Although even if the food is fine and they just don't like it, that seems... worth respecting and not treating like they're being dumb and annoying? Like, we don't make OURSELVES eat food we don't like all the time if we have a choice, we know it's unpleasant... why inflict that on a little creature who loves you and depends on you...

Yeah I've never really understood the 'oh cats are so picky lol they refuse perfectly good food' deal.

Like damn, the little guy who is fully reliant on you for every aspect of their survival and eats basically the same damn thing every single day doesn't like it anymore because the recipe changed? Should we call the press?

Honestly IME it's been pretty straightforward- new brand makes them puke? Not useful for sustenance, throw it out. The brand he's always fine with it suddenly unacceptable? Either somethings wrong with it or the formula is different and he doesn't feel safe. Not useful, throw it out. Recall announcement? Company revealed to be unsafe? Dangerous ingredients? That' not NUTRITION, why would I buy it?

What's the alternative, anyways? STARVE him until he eats it?? He's my SON

Anyhow Fuck "Meow Mix" SPECIFICALLY, I have seen no other brand that has made so many different cats puke so frequently and consistently, I wouldn't feed that shit to a worm

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

Also a lot of people really just. Raw dog taking care of a cat. So they'll tell me "my cat never wants to eat or drink >:/" sir you are putting their food immediately next to their water and they are hardwired to avoid that because of cross-contamination. You will literally solve this if you put the water and the food on the opposite sides of the room or the house in worst case and it takes like thirty seconds to Google.

[teaboot]

^^^^^^^ I had this problem with Ollie and I'd never had a cat do that before!!! SUCH an easy fix

[figtreeandvine]

Personally I keep the food bowl in the kitchen and the water bowl on the bathroom counter. Keeping the water bowl on the bathroom counter means I see it and am reminded to rinse and refill it frequently.

Only time it's an issue is when I have elder cats who don't jump well or I forget to tell the cat sitter to look in the bathroom for the water bowl.

[have-you-been-here]

An archive, Earth

Have you been here?

I have been here

I have not been here

Remaining time: 20 hours 24 minutes

[fangirlsovertoomanythings]

The way that most of Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories’ most horrible villains are rich dudes that are abusive to women, in a time such as the 1880’s, compels me.

[gardnerhill]

There’s a whole subset of Sherlock Holmes stories that could be labeled Asshole Guys Try to Control Women’s Money.

[three--rings]

Yup, there’s a huge number of times where Sherlock Holmes is the ONLY person to take a young woman’s complaint or worry seriously and finds out someone is up to some serious evil.  Holmes also shows a lot of compassion and empathy with the victims over and over again.  (This is why I find “Secretly a woman” or “Trans” Holmes headcanons much more convincing than “sociopath” Holmes.)

[waterhobbit]

I am never going to shut up about how much I specifically love The Adventure of The Copper Beeches because it is literally Sherlock Holmes listening to a young lady he does not know except as a potential client, agreeing with her that a potential job she has interviewed for that she thinks is SUPER SKETCHY is, indeed, sketchy as fuck and when she says she’s probably gonna take the job anyways because the money is good and she needs it going “OKAY I GUESS but for the love of god please write to us so we know you’re okay we will literally drop everything and jump on a train if you want us to”.

The job turns out to indeed be sketchy as fuck, she writes to them, Holmes and Watson drop everything and jump on a train when she asks them to. I read this story for the first time when I was twelve and it made a HUGE impression.

[three--rings]

This is also the basis for a lot of speculation about Holmes’ family life.  The idea that he has been a victim of abuse, or his mother was abused (or even murdered by his father.)  There’s definitely SOMETHING that makes him very aware of how dangerous isolated families can be, and the dark things that can happen behind closed doors.  Plus, of course, the motivation to devote himself to stopping crime.  And yes, so much of it is of the personal type. 

[volkswagonblues]

dude see this is one aspect of the original books i NEVER understand why modern remakes (cough cough) don’t go all in on. Like, in the 21th c we HAVE all the dumb forensic shit that made Victorian Holmes stand out, but we STILL DON’T HAVE uh….you know, compassion for women and minorities, or the willingness to believe them, adequate community support for domestic violence or hate crimes, etc. etc. which you’d think is exactly where a renegade consulting detective would come in handy. A good modern day Sherlock Holmes remake, instead of trying to convince us that Holmes is some super genius for being better than fingerprint analysis or whatever, could have him just be…a good person who helps out people the police can’t and won’t help. There you go. That’s how to write a relevant modern Holmes.

[fahbee]

One thing that annoys me is how much the BBC version of Sherlock (and the fandom around it) focus on police cases or cold cases.  In the stories, Holmes’ bread and butter cases had fuck-all to do with the police and in a few stories, he actively works around/against them, or outright lies to them.  Of the many, many things I wish that show had done differently, this is one is particularly obnoxious since it’s such a gimme.

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

There were very few actual murder cases in the Canon, and Holmes handled them either one of two ways:

Option one: The murder victim was innocent while the killer was an abusive bastard, see Speckled Band. Conclusion, arrest and have the killer charged (Or in the case of Speckled Band, indirectly murder him yourself then shrug and go home)

Option two: The victim was murdered to protect someone that the victim was abusing, or for vengeance, see Boscombe Valley, Devil’s Foot, Abbey Grange. Conclusion, Oops, I don’t know who the killer is, I am suddenly incompetent, oh look a pheasant.

[faejilly]

#my favorite murder in holmes canon#is when they straight up witness a lady murder her blackmailer#do nothing except destroy his other blackmail material#and then straight up lie to lestrade about it#sherlock holmes#more of this in modern adaptations pls (via @cactusspatz )

[muffinworry]

Let’s not forget the time Holmes helps a young woman who’s being catfished by her own stepfather to steal her inheritance, and when the villain sneers that the law can’t touch him, Holmes grabs a horsewhip out of sheerest chivalry.

[smokingtigerhiddengun]

So, the most canon-accurate iteration of Sherlock Holmes in the last few decades is actually Benoit Blanc….

[marzipanandminutiae]

I think it’s also important to note, and complicates our ideas about what the highly patriarchal/misogynistic society of 19th century England looked like, that these stories SOLD

they were POPULAR

the Victorians LIKED reading about women who won out over shitty men in their lives, even when that plotline reaffirmed a woman’s power and agency or put an active sexist in his place (ie Irene Adler besting Holmes)

which is fascinating in light of. you know. [gestures broadly at all of Victorian gender dynamics, laws, etc.]

[figtreeandvine]

One of my favorites is one where the woman's husband is actually a good person, the Adventure of the Yellow Face.

Husband comes to Holmes, tells him that someone is blackmailing his wife and she refuses to him who or why, but can Holmes help his wife?

The story turns very Gothic for a bit--wife going pale at the sight of a "hideous face" leering at her from the upper window of a neighboring house, mysterious letters, strange payments of large sums to unknown people, her sneaking out in the middle of the night to visit the house with the face. Holmes and Watson and husband force their way into the house to confront the blackmailer....

Turns out the "hideous face" is a child wearing a mask. Her daughter from her first marriage in the US, in fact. To a Black man. The money was spent getting her child to Britain and setting up a home for her so the wife could see her, because she thought her new husband wouldn't accept a mixed-race child.

Husband's response:

…when [Munro's] answer came it was one of which I love to think. He lifted the little child, kissed her, and then, still carrying her, he held his other hand out to his wife and turned towards the door. "We can talk about it more comfortably at home," said he. "I am not a very good man, Effie, but I think I am a better one than you have given me credit for being."

Holmes's response:

Watson, if it should ever strike you that I am getting a little overconfident in my powers, or giving less pains to a case than it deserves, kindly whisper 'Norbury' in my ear, and I shall be infinitely obliged to you.

[thememedaddy]

[figtreeandvine]

My mother told my brother and me as children/teens to blame her for any safety rule that our friends were giving us shit about. "My mom will kill me if I don't wear a bike helmet." "If I get stopped and you're not wearing your seatbelt my mom will take away my car privileges until I'm 30."

These days it would have been "If I'm not wearing a life jacket and someone posts a photo to Facebook I'm dead meat!"

We didn't actually need parental threats for this, but it's a lot harder for your friends to argue against authorities who aren't even there.

My mother's actual safety rules:

Pain hurts.

Spare body parts are hard to find.

Brains belong inside your skull.

[importantdogimages]