FirePhoenix @fiirephoeniix - Tumblr Blog

You cannot get mad at your significant other for expressing what upsets them. You can’t. Even if it isn’t deep to you, it may be a serious matter to them. They’re upset for a reason. Genuine consideration is key.

unforecasted-st0rm

!!!!!!!!

caoten

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

highonawindyhill

zteph-deactivated20200818

this wins over other pro-gay commercials because you had no idea he was gay and then you can’t tell which one is his husband

they are showing them as people

not as gays and straights

fejes-deactivated20180123

fuckin love this commercial

vikingserket

can we just talk abotu the fact that the husbands arent even bringing the drinks over theyre just standing there next to the drinks and chatting

fuckin useless husbands

burairium-deactivated20130819

they are showing anyone can be useless. Even gay people

they are saying that it doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight. You can still be a useless person

cyrilthewolf

this post got better

babyanimalgifs

oh my god

pabs-art

You look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t important

fuckthesheriff-panda

That jaguar is so tall compared to the ocelot. So cute!

sleepystarbits

@oreo-pie

lilanth

I need to know if these cats are being sold into the the pet trade or not

relentlesslygayy-deactivated202

Nope! These little kitties are from black jaguar white tiger foundation, a big cat rescue and sanctuary, and the man in the video is Eduardo Serio. He regularly gets orphaned cubs and cubs rescued from the pet trade, when the zoos don’t have enough room. He doesn’t normally socialize with them like this but the margay and jaguar cubs here had already imprinted on humans and can no longer survive in the wild, so he’s been raising them

nabyss

OHHHHHH CUTIES….

shoelight

cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you

me: yeah he was not very friendly

kyloren

Captain Marvel (2019) dir. Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck /// Lilo & Stitch (2002) dir. Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois

starfleetacademy

Desire paths are just the best human invention because cities will spend millions on sidewalks and yet. Our little foraging brains will think ‘too far cut thru grass for food’ and others will be like ‘other human have good idea. I follow’ until there’s a beaten path when there’s perfectly acceptable sidewalks to either side

starfleetacademy

For example

solitairians

these are called “olifantenpaadjes” in dutch (little elephant paths) (remember this for later it’s important) and there’s a whole facebook page dedicated to it, where people can send in pictures of these “elephant paths” all across the country and they get rated with stars.

apparently, a city renovated its park, and ended up putting a tree branch over a beloved path:

of course, this meant the path had become unusable, which is an utter tragedy, so an anonymous citizen did the rational thing and got up in the middle of the night, went to the park, and cut the branch in half using a chainsaw.

so like.. this citizen should probably get arrested for destruction of public property right??? nah. the city just thought it was funny and even made a joke about it when the renovated park got-re opened. the only thing to come out of it was this photo, posted by a local news site:

and that’s the story of how dutch people really, really, really love their little elephant paths.

markwateneymemorialcrater

The correct design solution is to take these paths. And then put a more formal paved path down. This prevents grass damage. And makes a more usable path

unclefather

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

old people: let me speak to your manager. This never would have happened in my day. And yet you all want the minimum wage raised. I’m going to kill you.

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

millennials: okay, my apologies. I apologize for the inconvenience. I’m sorry I’m here.

chasing-asterion

me, walking into a store: are you guys busy? i can come back later. please don’t push yourselves on my account. things happen

toapoet-deactivated20221001

me, when the place is completely empty: it’s okay i understand you’re busy, there’s no rush

therealraewest

Shrek 2 really didn’t have to go off and make the best version of “I Need a Hero” in existence but fuck they sure did!! The flawless use of the dramatic orchestra including giving a pleasing interlude to show that the song is still being used as a dance?? The seamless integration of the Spanish guitar towards the end?? The swells and dips that take you perfectly through the action happening on screen but don’t overplay it so that it still stands on it’s own when you’re not watching the movie itself??? Go tf off fairy godmother goddamn

gambitbrain-deactivated20190910

Woodstock says a lot about the Baby Boomer generation.

gambitbrain-deactivated20190910

In 1969, 300,000+ young people showed up to the Woodstock music festival. The land being utilized was owned by a farmer. Drugs and inappropriate behavior were rampant, we've all seen the notorious photos of the festival goers skinny dipping and walking around naked. ODs and other medical issues were so rampant that the resources of the local emergency services were totally depleted. The National Guard was almost sent in. "Freak out tents" were set up for people on bad trips to be kept away from others. Hygiene was so poor that it was dubbed a crisis. Boomer-produced media portrays these events as cute, funny things done by well meaning young people just having a good time.

On the third day of the festival, the food ran out. Another major crisis was averted when food was charitably provided by locals in the nearby small town, out of their own pantries. The locals received nothing in return for this. Boomer-produced media portrays this as an example of a community "coming together" and "sharing", some even use Woodstock as evidence that socialism works, referring to Woodstock as a temporary self sustaining country.

After the festival was over, the farmer's fields were completely destroyed and covered in a sea of trash. A rainstorm the previous day has destroyed many young boomers' belongings, and they had responded by leaving the destroyed items on the field while they went off to live the rest of their lives, reminiscing about the love, peace, and community they had experienced at Woodstock for decades to come.

larkstonguesinaspicpart1

mom culture is asking you questions that you would not ever even know the answer to

larkstonguesinaspicpart1

moms will ask you who killed jonbenet ramsey and then get mad when you don’t know

monsterlets

words of power do exist…. i can walk out of my apartment wearing the most fuck shit, e.g. swim trunks as shorts w a zipped up hoodie and no shirt underneath, and just say the words “laundry day” and suddenly it’s way less weird

monsterlets

“laundry day” spell: decreases target’s judgment of outfit by 80%