The Last Lamentation

K / 33 / any pronouns if someone's actually reading this then thank you for checking out my blog

[fishfishbeaver]

hi tumblr whats up ive spent the past 2 weeks fully immersed in a fantasy world going on adventures with my very tall strong red wife. i havent left the house in 11 days ive never been both happier and sadder

[fishfishbeaver]

hi im doing artfight for the 4th year(??) so like follow me on there if you’d like to okay? good thanks love you

https://artfight.net/~KermaSooda

[fishfishbeaver]

i guess i could post this here also. drawing was hard at times last year but i should still be proud of myself!

[fishfishbeaver]

oops i havent posted anything here in over a year tehee. so here’s an update i guess?? uhhh i’m still alive! yippee! the past few years have been really tough but i’m still here at least. still got my cats. i’m single now. my mom died. i got a support worker. i’ve been drawing a lot. i have several more piercings and tattoos. ive actually made a few new friends.

idk life is hard but also good sometimes lmao

[fishfishbeaver]

im pretty sure i havent posted any of these to tumblr oops. also yes i forgot to add my name to the picture what about it

[fishfishbeaver]

now that im single and drinking again maybe i should return to my roots of sadposting on tumblr

[fishfishbeaver]

The latest Tweets from Kerma (@KermaSooda). Any pronouns | 31 | I post art sometimes | Hey check out my gf @mirakurutaimu shes very funny. F

Hey yall follow me on twitter i actually post stuff there. Like my art! And my cats!

[norunningbythepool-deactivated2]

[fluffysheeps]

Moocha, Strawberry, Vanilla 🐮

[rejisol]

that one fucking concept art of the dragon age races that depicts dwarves like this:

you suck and i defy you

[rabdoidal]

this makes me violent <3

[pri-the-writer]

Calling all dragon age artists! Let’s see your interpretation of what dwarven women should look like!

[luccorvus]

Okay, here u go

[alittlebitnerdy]

@luccorvus​ can u please do the Qunari next!!

[luccorvus]

Sure thing

[anxietyproblem]

[eggastential-biscuits]

Finally,

Someone else gets it

[delphinidin4]

[everythingfox]

Plop

(via)

[frottinq]

society and makeup companies to women at all times: you have to wear makeup, like you literally have to or else you look like a corpse, so wear it you fucking corpse. aren't you terrified of getting old? aren't you insecure about your little blemishes? we have the $80 solution.

someone online: you don't have to wear makeup

someone else in response, without fail, every single time: yeah but it's okay if you want to wear makeup :). I mean, it's a personal choice, which involves no coercion from the constant social pressures that dictate how women should present themselves, so go ahead! Don't let mean people bully you into thinking it's okay to have flaws in your skin.

[surprisebitch]

when you just had a productive day and finished all your work

[hihicecil]

#can i get a slow mo in this bc im pretty sure her titties helicopter and switch places

reblogging with my own tag because i did it myself

and i was right

i still wasn’t convinced though, so i slowed it down even more

yeah

[miquerida]

here i screen capped it 

[surprisebitch]

yup this is what it’s like when you just had a productive day and finished all your work

[toxictiktoks]

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is such a powerful grimace

[dragon-in-a-fez]

patient: so the symptoms I've been having are—

doctor:

[just-your-average-tangerine]

God I wish that were me. Literally every single person in my family has a thyroid disease and my doctor still claims my symptoms are "just anxiety" and refuses to test me

[dragon-in-a-fez]

turns out doctors will test your thyroid if you have literally anything except a thyroid problem

[virgo-of-rage]

You guys know you can switch doctors or demand that they indicate in your chart that they are refusing to test you, right?

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I spent my entire adolescence going around to over 30 different absolutely clueless specialists more than half of whom insisted on testing my thyroid function despite being able to see in my records that it had already been tested a dozen times but thanks I guess

[eroticcannibal]

"Just switch doctors and make demands "??? In this economy???

[finderofsmallthings]

Learning to advocate for yourself at the doctor is one of the biggest hurdles of early chronic illness. Here are some things someone could practice saying (practice with family, friends, or other safe people who will play this out with you):

“my thyroid function was checked recently. That information should be accessible to you in my chart. If it isn’t, please let me know so that I can get you those results. In the meantime, what else might be causing my symptoms?”

“Ive explored that avenue with other physicians. what else might be causing my symptoms?”

“I’d like to test ____. Can you order that one?” [if they say no] “Please note in my records that I requested that test and you declined to order it. I’ll wait here while you do that.” [then, ask the nurse for an after-visit summary that includes the doctor’s notes to check that they did it]

When in doubt- bring a friend!! There’s no reason why doctors appointments have to be solitary, and a friend can help you remember stuff you wanted to say, remember stuff the doctor said back, be brave and advocate for yourself, and if necessary, advocate for you.

[jabberwockypie]

I’ve recently had to explain “I have been suffering from anxiety/panic attacks for more than 20 years, so I know what those feel like. This is new.”

It worked, though.

[dovewithscales]

Write things down before and during. Bring notes on what you need to talk about. Take notes on what the doctor is telling you.

If you request your records they have 30 days to comply or it’s a HIPPA violation. They can charge up to 10 cents per page for printing cost.

[stripedroseandsketchpads]

It can also be difficult to self-advocate if you have mental health problems on record. I know I’ve had doctors who pointed to my diagnosed anxiety disorder to claim I was just a hypochondriac when I was so sick it was hard to WALK.

One thing that seriously helps:

If you are having physical problems misconstrued as mental illness and have a good therapist or psychiatrist, ask them to vouch for you in writing.

My psychiatrist writing me a note that said, “actually my professional opinion is that this person’s anxiety is well-controlled, please take that into account and FUCKING BELIEVE HER PLEASE”, and he was listened to more than I was.

If you can get other professionals on your side it really is helpful.

Is it deeply fucked up that some doctors won’t trust that you know your own body? Yes. But in the moment, trying to find other ways to get yourself heard can be a necessary sacrifice. Do that first and lodge any complaints later — ESPECIALLY if you think you’ve been discriminated against or dismissed base on race/age/gender because that happens a ton.

And ALWAYS keep a paper trail.

EDIT: Even if you’re not dealing with illness actually I’d love if people would rb to spread it. Self-advocacy is hard and working needlessly difficult systems to get vital help all alone can be a deeply demoralizing experience.

[writegowrite]

This may sound weird, but it helps to think of a doctor visit like a school presentation. I don’t mean 20 minutes long or a PowerPoint on a laptop, but prep for it. Even if the doctor is completely open and willing to listen, you hamstring yourself by not being prepared for that tiny bit of time you have in front of them.

In my case, the first year we were starting to get my epilepsy managed, I wrote out everything notable that had been going on between visits on the notes app on my phone so I could refer to them when talking. I also wrote out possible answers to questions I thought the doc might have and answers to them, if I had them. We had a simple seizure log app we used to track my seizures, so when he asked when one was, I could tell him the day and hour and how long it lasted. My wonderful and loving partner @fireflyfish also helped me keep the info straight and went to doc appointments with me. Her being there let the doc get a more objective opinion on my reaction to different medications, general moods, and behavior during seizures. I know I’ve gotten better care because I can clearly give details rather than uhhhing and trying to sum up complicated incidents and thoughts on the spot.

If you were never great at presenting, ask a friend to help or write out a basic essay outline of quick details: thesis (ex: “I need your help because I’m having headaches once a week that are affecting my quality of life”, supporting details: “they last two hours, have come at different times of day such as x and x, and include visual effects like lightning streaks and auras”, rebuttals to possible challenges: “my family has no history of migraines, I’ve never had serious headaches like this, I’ve had no changes in diet or medication in the last three months”, and summary of thesis: “Please help me figure this out. What tests can we do and what do you think are the possibilities here?”

[gffa]

I know it can seem a little awkward, the idea of taking out notes in front of a doctor, but every doctor I’ve ever been to has reacted positively to it, because it helps you focus even on things you think are important enough that, oh, of course you’ll remember them, and it shows that you’re taking this seriously and you can present the information you need very concisely.  Same for having a friend or partner along with, by and large, doctors are fine with this because they can be very helpful in giving an objective viewpoint, as well as they understand that you’re busy trying not to focus and having someone else there to be the calm note-taker really helps.  And yes if you can bring in a basic schedule of the problems you’re having, that’s going to help tremendously.  Basically:  Yes, yes, and yes to all of of the above.