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Mad with boop power! I felt inspired.
NATASHA, PIERRE, AND THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 at Streetcar Crowsnest
all of taylor's previous albums, in the style of The Tortured Poets Department (2024)
samâs reveal at the end makes this a thousand times funnier
SORRY FOR THE VERY PERSONAL COMIC!!
This is my half of âUnhealthyâ, an essay comic double header with the lovely and talented Sarah Winifred Searle. She and I both wrote about our personal experiences as overweight ladies with eating disorders, and her story is breathtaking! You can buy a physical copy of the book here: https://topatoco.com/collections/abby-howard/products/ah-unhealthy
Or buy a digital PDF here:Â https://abbyhoward.itch.io/unhealthy
A comic by an inspiring woman, whose story mirrors much of my own. -ATL
Time to re-up this one. Virtual hugs to everyone out there who has been told they shouldnât live unless they are ashamed of being fat. You should. Please, live.
-ATL
Everyone should take the time to read this- but especially thin allies in the body positivity movement to end fatshaming who sympathize but havenât experienced fatphobia directly. Great insight into the mindset of fat people who want to be healthy, but have bad relationships with food that have been pushed on them by society.
would you still love me if i was a worm? wait no sorry thatâs stupid let me rephrase that would you still love me if I was of no value to you anymore? if I broke my vows by turning into someone you never agreed to be with if I suddenly couldn't be a wife couldn't be a mother if I couldn't clean the house and I couldn't put dinner on the table and couldn't have sex would you still love me? would I even be me, to you? do you love me or the things that I do? when wives get life threatening illnesses 1 in 5 husbands leave those don't seem like good odds so I'm just asking if I turned into a worm tomorrow and I could no longer provide you with anything at all, would the love remain? would you find a terrarium and fill it with mulch and keep me in the bedroom? would you spray me with water? would you keep me alive? would you throw me out onto the pavement? I think I would make you a house of popsicle sticks if you were a worm
kirburb on tiktok
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âł merry christmas, @sotb!!
You're Losing Me & lyric parallels
taylor swift albums as movie tickets, in the order of the eras tour (including songs from the setlist)
Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings heâs always like âwell we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said soâ
at the rose city comic con panel this month a fan asked them (sean and elijah) if sam and frodo were in love and they said
Sean: .....yes. absolutely
Elijah: 100 percent.
Sean: dont tell rosie
Rosie: "This is my husband Sam, and that's his husband, Frodo. Frodo is my husband-in-law. I'm not into him, he's he's a bit too 'elfy' for my taste, but Sam likes him, and that's fine with me. As far as I know, Frodo can't give Sam children, but Frodo looks after ours all the same, so I don't mind sharing Sam if it means another pair of eyes on the wee ones. In all honesty, our family tree is right simple compared to some hobbits. Yes, I'm referrin' to you Lobelia, over there pretendin' you ain't eavesdroppin'. Still bitter you ain't got either of my boys or their house, eh?"
Tbh it's canon that Frodo invited Sam and Rosie to move in to Bag End after their wedding and they all lived there for a couple of years until Frodo went to Valinor, so yeah. Running with it.
And once Rosie dies, Sam says his goodbyes and disappears after him.
whatâs funny is people assuming that rosie would somehow be too dim or naive to KNOW that sam loved frodo, instead of looking at a guy who would loyally follow a beloved friend to hell and then help carry him home again, and not be like âoh i canât not fuck that.â
Polyamory, specifically polyandry, would be an interesting solution to the oddball population of the Shire.
The Shire is excellent farming country, with consistently good weather, and only one tough winter in living memory; hobbits like to produce large families; theyâre resistant to disease, rarely violent, and encounter few dangers. It is usual for hobbits to produce many children, so that (for example) Bilbo and Frodo are unusual in both being only children, with no siblings, and not having children of their own. All of this should point to a population that increases every generation if not doubling outright. Young people (and their ideologies!) should rapidly outnumber the old with an ever-increasing effect and impact on society. However, the Shire has a surprisingly stable history; it never seems to increase or decrease greatly in population, and the bell curve of age seems⊠demographically balanced? There certainly isnât a conflict from rising young bloods challenging the middle-aged reactionaries; thereâs no unemployment; there are no housing crises or waves of emigration, or even a tendency for young people leaving home to marry. Meanwhile, not only does the Shire not suffer from internal pressures, but it remains obscure and hardly noticed in global politics.
What makes sense here is that adult hobbits form a loose group. Four parents in a polycule, between them all, may produce four children. All four parents claim to have four children. An outsider would assume this meant the adults had eight children.
Hobbits therefore are not especially fertile or fecund. They simply have large families. Much of their interest in genealogy is due to the complex relationships of blood-kin, hearth-kin, love-kin and pledge-kin, who must all be carefully tracked and measured - not just because you need to make sure that you donât climb into bed with an un-permitted degree of blood-kin, but to track family alliances and carefully quantify the precise level of thoughtfulness to put into the proper present to gift your fatherâs loverâs lover (too much implies a degree of intimacy that might upset the polycule.)
Thus, while a hobbit matron may tell a startled dwarf that she has seven sons, she might only have borne five of them herself, and have one hearth-son by her wife, and a pledge-son of her first husbandâs. There are between three and four fathers involved at various stages of production, from conception to pledge-duty, but there is debate about the precise number of fathers, as one child was festival-conceived and therefore provisionally pledged to the Brandybucks until more distinctive paternal traits should materialise. Itâs expected that four of the sons will be uninterested in women, and their contribution to family life will be in raising hearth-children and pledge-duty. However, this level of detail is normally negotiated later in conversation, as a mutual overture of friendship. So sheâs just clear and simple: yes, certainly, she has seven sons. Yes, theyâre all hers. Yes, thatâs fairly normal - yes, hobbits like big families. How big? Thatâs really hard to say! Well, about thirteen hobbits live in her house⊠er, she has forty-three nieces and nephews. Yes! She has nine siblings, thatâs correct, but some of them are still babies themselves..
In this way, a bewildered dwarf might assume that hobbits are absurdly fertile, producing an average of seven children per couple, at an absurd pace.
When in fact, with about half of hobbits never bearing biological children, the population of hobbits is pretty much always the same.
Tl:dr, hobbit population works perfectly well, both internally and in the perceptions of outsiders, if the majority of the Shire is gay, theyâre all polyamorous, and they all firmly claim to be parents of high numbers of children. Of course Frodo fathered Samâs kids - he named them! They were pledge-kin but not hearth-kin, as Frodo needed a lot of quiet and stability in the home.
No outsider ever parses hobbit genealogy well enough to understand this except for Gandalf, who never explains anything either.
Okay, reblogged this too quickly out of enthusiasm.
This makes so much sense in the worldbuilding, actually???
Like, consider: Elves don't understand hobbit families, but hobbits are also baffled by elf families. You have exactly one partner ever? And it's considered wildly inappropriate to take another even if that partner straight up dies? And they only raise their own children, usually three maximum? Most hobbits would be convinced that elves were cold, unfeeling and anti-social.
Bilbo is percieved as oddly elf-ish when he comes back from his adventure at least in part because he only takes on one hearth-child, and even then quite late in his life. Like sure dude, you don't have to have romantic or sexual partners but no children????? Very strange. Here. Take a Frodo. Maybe he'll fix whatever is wrong with your brain.
And this also explains why hobbits get on better with Elrond than most other elves. Because Elrond has a weird af family by elf standards and takes in foster children all the time. He seems much warmer by comparison. Basically, when Bilbo comes to stay at the Last Homely House and he's doing his writing Elrond would be thrown by how comfortable Bilbo is with his family.
Elrond: My apologies, I know this must be quite confusing for you.
Bilbo: No no I understand perfectly. You have two blood-parents (Elwing and Earendil), two hearth-parents (Maglor and Maedhros), one blood-brother (Elros), and one pledge-brother (Gil-galad). Certainly a bit unconventional due to the kinslaying and all, and a bit on the small side, but other than that...
Elrond, who has never in his life had his family called 'small': ...
You get it
never thought Iâd find myself retrospectively wishing my puberty had additional lore but here we are
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair.
@asouefanworkevent Woevember day 6: The unfortunate generation >> The Baudelaire children
Nominee for the 95th Academy Awards: Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Different person, but, I've seen some people who are older in the community claiming that kink and polyamory have historically been considered part of the community. I don't know enough about the history there, do you know anything on that? I've been on the "no" side with those two, but I mean, I don't really know anything that would go against those historical claims, so do you know if are they true?
I donât know any history surrounding that but kinks and poly are not LGBT+. They deviate from social norms, certainly, but theyâre adjectives, not subjects.
okay idk if that made sense im not an english major guys
Okay so Iâve made about a dozen of these posts in the last month or two, so Iâm not going to get as exhaustive as I sometimes do, but hereâs the history that my mother and aunties taught me about kink and polyamory as queer.
When I was growing up, I was told that the kink community was the physical space in which the queer community existed and that non-monogamy/polyamory as the concepts that exist today were born directly out of queer culture and the environments that shaped it.
Basically, back in the early years when most of queer culture was an arrestable offense and people mostly only got to meet their partners in the backrooms of old speakeasies and nightclubs, kink spaces were doing the same thing and were one of the only non-mob owned options for gatherings. Kink communities themselves were almost entirely made up of queer folks already anyways because surprise surprise a community made mostly of abuse survivors is gonna have pretty high rates of queer folks in it. And because of the semi-public nature of the spaces and the limited safe dating options polyamory and related non-monogamous practices became common place.
They became so common place in fact that queerness and queer culture completely and foundationally shaped the discussions around consent, relationship needs, emotional connections, and ethical behavior that became central to kink and polyamory as practices. They became so common place in part because it made sense, in part because the cultures all needed each other, and in part because, as my mother always said, âif society had already damned you just for being queer, what did you have to lose by trying all the other things society was going to damn you for as well?â This, incidentally, is also why there have historically been such high numbers of queer folk in illegal occupations like sex work and why my mom and aunties also used to consider sex work as a culture pretty fucking queer too.
But the years went by and your average, ârespectableâ white gay and lesbian folks with their picket fence day dreams started making progress. They started kicking people to the curb in an effort to make queerness look less âchallengingâ and different. Bye bye, bisexuals, bye bye drag and trans culture, bye bye non-monogamy what do you mean you actually think the âslippery slopeâ to gay marriage also leading to polygamy might be a good thing? Bye bye all you sex freaks, sexuality is something your born with and you canât help who you love, itâs not like all that disgusting talking-about-sex-and-building-the-entire-network-of-sex-ed-information-we-used-to-desperately-try-and-survive-the-AIDS-crisis-ew-you-perverts-our-sex-is-beautiful-and-pure-like-marriage! And so on and so forth.
See, when it was all about survival, the distinction that Straight people drew between gay, kinky, polyamorous, trans, ace, etc was irrelevant. Theyâd kill us all the same so we might as well band together and make a world in which the next generation might not just live but thrive. But once it became about gaining access to state acceptance and making room within the legal framework that already existed, those of us who were too scary to Straight society, who still needed the hierarchy destroyed, not just expanded, became dead weight. Our labor, our physical space, our intellectual efforts all became irrelevant and all that mattered was when the Straights looked at White Cis Gays they saw Us instead. So the White Cis Gays fixed that by making it clear they thought we were just as disgusting as the Straights thought we were. They abandoned us and took our history and our language and our fucking lives with them and said we werenât ~allowed~ to have it. And because those of us who were marginalized in many ways or who were doubly or triply damned were more likely to have suffered massive losses during the AIDS crisis and to still be living in poverty, in crime, and in general destitution of social capital, weâve been fighting an uphill battle not to be erased ever since.
So now you have a whole generation or two or three who grew up being told a sanitized history where a âdrag queenâ threw the first brick at Stonewall, Pride wasnât started by one of the bisexual Queens of Kink, and non-monogamy hasnât been the natural progression of so many of our communities for generations. And they tell us we never existed, weâre just secret straighties thinking our gross sex lives make us queer, we could just choose to be respectable and ânormalâ like everyone else and then we wouldnât be âbulliedâ (because god forbid our actual oppression be recognized) and they completely miss the irony.
And as much as I hate that I have to list my credentials in order for there to be a chance in burning hell for this response to be considered legitimate, I am the nonbinary, bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, intersex child of a bisexual, kinky, polyamorous woman who spent all of my life and most of hers in the heart of Queer culture and politics to the point that she put me on the stand in front of the entire school board and a third of the state at age 10 to fight for our right to participate in the Day of Silence without fear of suspension, expulsion, abuse, or injury/death. I was on my motherâs hip at the state capitol protests with police in riot gear ready to do whatever it took to prevent us from entering the building. I am Queer in so many ways, including ones no one can dare fucking argue and so was my mother before me and my aunties before her, and this is THEIR history I am telling and will keep telling until Iâm dead because I will rot before I let people erase their memories, blood, and joy from our history by claiming that kink and polyamory donât belong.
I apologize for that all sounding angry and upset. It is not aimed at anyone in particular. I am just very very tired and itâs almost Passover which means that my auntieâs are a lot more on my brain than usual and I am just so exhausted by the way I have been mocked and belittled for months now over things that were simply Truth when I was growing up. Please understand how much history is denied and how many ancestors are dishonored by this rhetoric of âwho REALLY belongs in the community?â
We were not supposed to be an exclusive club with a guard at the gate. We were supposed to be a role model by which society learned to better itself and treat us ALL with dignity and humanity. And I am tired of seeing people pretend otherwise.
We were not supposed to be an exclusive club with a guard at the gate. We were supposed to be a role model by which society learned to better itself and treat us ALL with dignity and humanity. And I am tired of seeing people pretend otherwise.
When I met my âFirst queer person âąâ back in 1990, one of the things she said to me that I spent about 27 years unpacking was this:
âmonogamous heterosexual relationships are patriarchal bullshit.â
I took offense at the time. But when you donât let people use words like âqueerâ to describe âeveryone who isnât in this Normative Bubble of heterosexual serial monogamyâ, you have to get pretty specific about the fact that STRAIGHT refers to this concept of being ânormalâ which in this culture has meant for many years âStraight, cis, monogamous (or doing your best to fake all of the above)âÂ
Quit fucking gatekeeping.
The people who hate us hate all of us. Joining them in their hatred doesnât solve the problem.Â
The way they win is if they get us to fight each other.Â
I donât reblog sensitive topics on this blog, but this is exactly what I had a long conversation about recently. Iâm not young, and I remember shit like this as it was happening. polyamory is queer as fuck and learn to respect that
Relatedly, also â the legal fights for legal polyamory and kink are fundamentally tied to the legal fights for gay and trans rights.
Hereâs something that doesnât get talked about nearly enough: even today, most states have anti-kink laws on the books, and will sometimes prosecute consenting kink participants for assault and battery. And in places where this happens, it is pretty much exclusively used to target queer clubs and spaces, in almost exactly the same way that anti-sodomy laws once were.
When I was in undergrad, a queer nightclub near where I went to school got busted because someone was reportedly âhitting a patron with a wooden spoonâ. The people arrested were charged with assault with a dangerous weapon â the alleged âweaponâ being the spoon â a felony punishable by up to 5 years in state prison and $1,000 fine. Turns out, there wasnât any play happening in the club at that hour, and there were no wooden spoons found anywhere in the building⊠but you better believe that the proud queers the cops arrested for it had to find lawyers and make bail and go to court dates anyway. And even if the cops had found a fucking spoon in the club, would that have justified any of it? Make no mistake â this club, like so many other queer kinky clubs across the country, was targeted because it was queer. And separating out the queer from the kinky would do jack shit to help anyone arrested that night.
Anti-kink (and anti-poly) are weaponized in order to target queer people, specifically, and in significant numbers. And as far as Iâm concerned, thatâs enough to make them inherently anti-queer as political tactics, even laying aside all of the history above. Donât do our enemyâs dirty work for them.
god fucking thank you for thoroughly explaining this. iâm so exhausted by this argument and so exhausted explaining these points to people.
i am once again begging the baby gays to LEARN YOUR QUEER HISTORY
here, have some happy girls and their girlfriends/wives/significant others â„
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Glorious queer and lesbian and non-binary and just LGBT wonderful people in love!
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