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@flowerxar
Tonight i,m sitting on a different porch. In a different place in the same cold. ...Erm.. I have a lot of thoughts i dont know how to say. But, Its one thing to live in a haunted house,.and its another to live in a house haunted by someone you know very very well. My kid doesnt care..Me, Well I dont know. Self reminder: Work tomorrow at 8:45
Pulitzer Prize type shit
Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot
Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot
got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.
this one's a big hit with the ghosts
IM GONNA FUCKING CRY
WHO THE FUCK IS OSCAR
And like who the fuck is this guy [gestures to reflection in mirror alone in bathroom
Joined our Capybara community group 👉 https://www.tumblr.com/communities/capybara-world
Feeling physical exhaustion as a psychosomatic reaction to things that feel daunting or intimidating is such a ridiculously counterproductive thing to do. Like there's a situation that requires you to be alert and mentally present and paying attention, and your brain just goes "hey I don't wanna. I don't wanna be here. How about going unconscious instead. No fuck you we're warping out. Night night."
i hope everything works out in the end because i am so so scared
let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Don't let these prices hold you back! This fiendish kitty now coming in for only $6.89!
cat s have many important things to say like sometimes a cat will look at uou and say "a " and you have to take notes to Learn
shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times
i`m going to loose my mind i just burnt my toast and i am so tired that for some reason i completely forgot where i was. and with the instinct ingrained from years of living on a sailing boat as a child i just went to feed the fish.
only that i am not on a sailing boat. there are no fish to feed. i just fucking threw bread out of the window of a third story apartment in the middle of the city very much on land. what the fuck
i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is
