Do you . . . fondue?

Jack, 26, transmasc (he/they), white, autistic, ADHD, asexual, advocate, writer, editor, fiction enthusiast, artist, dungeon master.

[tiktoks-repost]

[wolfchaldo]

[fangcore]

the face of a new man

[wallaceandpestle]

lord of the flies is so fake this is what teenage boys are really like

[ljspencerauthor]

Take it from the biochemist who used to work with vaccines:

1. Some vaccines will keep you from getting sick: measles, mumps, rubella, etc.

2. Some vaccines won't keep you from getting sick, but it will keep you from dying: COVID, flu, etc.

3. Some people can't get vaccines, or vaccines don't work for them. They are a tiny percentage of the population.

4. Side effects from vaccines are normal.

5. mRNA vaccine technology has been around for 20 years. It's not *that* new.

6. Vaccine cards have been around for a very long time. You'd know that if you traveled to certain countries, or looked it up on Google.

7. I'm getting tired of saying all this stuff to people. At this point, I don't give a flying fuck what you believe, grow the fuck up and just get your fucking vaccine and/or booster shot. But if you insist on being a selfish asshole, stay the fuck away from me.

[mumblesplash]

kinda miss sitting in restaurants with my friends loudly having what is clearly the weirdest conversation the couple two tables over has heard all week and pretending not to notice them chuckle at my jokes but making sure to throw in enough exposition to give them context if they’re still listening

[mumblesplash]

“why the hell is this one getting so many notes” i think, briefly, before realizing we’re three years into The Great Loneliness and i have just wistfulposted on yearning dot com

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

you know what’s always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character’s like “which one of you is the liar” or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like “what’s two plus two” one of them’s gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie. 

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

this has forty notes. that’s forty more notes than expected.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes

[sirnotappearinginthisblog]

LISTEN i don’t normally engage in Discourse but this information is DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!

the point of the riddle isn’t to figure out which one is lying, in fact, knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irrelevant. What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that, you HAVE to ask it “if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the safe way to go, what will they tell me?”

if you asked the truth-telling one, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because they’re misleading you, so

ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.

“who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn’t matter irl–”

WRONG AGAIN! story time:

A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.

now, i’ve been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand.

I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the other the nice rum. 

the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting “ask him what color your hair is!” and stuff like that, but i already knew what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum

remember, kids, it doesn’t matter which one is lying and which one is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests.

always be ready for a riddle contest

[spicychickencows]

Here’s a thing that usually doesn’t come up when people try to criticise this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will collapse when you’re halfway across.

They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question.

If you ask “What’s two plus two?” than great. You know which one lies but you also still don’t know which bridge you can cross and can’t find out.

You played yourself.

[jumpingjacktrash]

i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them on fire, and see which way they run.

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

^ Look at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all.

[itskyalenotkyletoo]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

OCD is one of those mental illnesses that people show support for until they learn about what fucked up intrusive thoughts result from it. I’ve literally seen someone on here put in their byf “don’t follow if you have OCD with [insert intrusive thought here].

A lot of OCD intrusive thoughts are very terrible sexual ones involving the potential to harm loved ones...except these thoughts make YOU suffer, not other people. They aren’t true desires and beliefs; they’re called “intrusive” for a reason.

I’ve literally isolated myself out of fear from my intrusive thoughts, assuming I would hurt someone if I got close. So, it’s disappointing, to say the least, that people will think of you as terrible for what your mental illness already makes you feel terrible.

You have legal permission from Death2America Inc. to reblog this so long as you leave no cringe comments, which can result in a lawsuit.

[chewedcorn]

Actual review

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

This thread is gold

[lesbianshepard]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

one of my dad’s old doctor friends recently found out he’s got two X chromosomes

he’s taken it in stride and it’s just a fun fact he brings up but it’s killing me that he’s too old and offline for me to send him the ‘gee Billy’ meme

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

[shadow-daughter]

NO. PRINT IT OUT.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

he’s a doctor so if I show it to him he’ll just be like “well actually research shows that people with kleinfelter syndrome are equally likely to have inherited their extra X chromosome from either their mother or their father” and then talk cheerfully about chromosomes for an hour without laughing

[gallusrostromegalus]

So he'll love it is what you're saying?

[brucebocchi]

perfect headline. no notes

[brucebocchi]

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

[trappedinavelociraptor]

[hermit-gunsmith]

They left the best one off

[phenomenaaa]

unbelievable

[avenging-fandoms]

my personal favorite

[mierac]

someone had to pick up Carrie Fisher’s mantle and by the gods, Pedro Pascal did it. 

[phenomenaaa]

:) this is my favorite comment on this post

[deafmic]

I personally think that Tumblr should embrace their status as an anti-social media and start implementing small things that would actively make this website more of a nuisance.

[deafmic]

Some ideas, some borrowed from other posts:

-an @ everyone feature, which would notify all your followers of a post. What's the difference between this and turning on post notifications? Well, with this you don't get to choose if you've been notified or not

-mail forwarding. You get an ask you don't like? Hit this button to forward it on to a random person.

-bring back the ability to edit other people's posts except this time it notifies you if someone has edited their post so you can have beef with them if you want

-the ability to create statuses that show up next to your username when you go to your blog. This has great chaos potential.

-polls, with both unlimited options and unlimited time that can be customized. I want to see the entire bee movie script in the form of a poll

Feel free to add on more

[captainlordauditor]

#I for one would like an option to tell people why I blocked them#just a little pop up when they try to come to my page#you've been blocked by this user for: being annoying in the Jason Todd tag

[cuuno-moved]

does anyone have that one painting with the ghosts standing in the water?

[cuuno-moved]

like theyre in the water and they're staring off to the side and there's something so very wrong about it and they're bending over and trailing along like deer in the headlights but you can't see what they're staring at which might make it even scarier

[cuuno-moved]

like this

[cuuno-moved]

I FUCKING FOUND IT.

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

beach day beach day

[cuuno-moved]

[cuuno-moved]

by the way, the artist is olivia steen (website linked above) and apparently, her other works are just as breathtakingly eerie

look at this!!! it's cool as hell!!

[2cupsoforangejuce]

I thought the last one was very familiar to me and turns out it’s painted over a photo of john lennon !

and after looking at the first one again it is also, a beatle photo

[estacium]

Not going to lie the first picture like the ghost on the water It kinda is referenced on the one picture where the Beatles are in Miami for the Help! shooting I dont have the picture but it really looks like! Especially the bending ghost resembles Ringo and The other Picture where the ghost is sitting down I also remember so much remember that that picture is Brian Epstein sitting I also don’t have the picture cause I cant fine IT aaaaa HAHAH

[george-actual-harrison]

Now THIS is some fucking forbidden fandom lore lmao

[talking-perfectly-loud]

[talking-perfectly-loud]

ETA THIS IS THE ONE!!!!

[drivenalphabitchpaulmccartney]

[dorian-they-ao3]

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946) • JIMMY STEWART as George Bailey and LIONEL BARRYMORE as Mr. Potter

[dorian-they]

wait WHAT 😳 i mean that feels accurate but still…. WHAT.

[dykecostanza-deactivated2024112]

here’s the official fbi memo about it! you can view the whole document here

the fbi presented these “findings” to mccarthy’s house unamerican activities committee (huac) in an attempt to get it’s a wonderful life pulled from theaters but huac decided not to take any action

[studentlifeproblems]

[fondueyourself]

You literally just tell them that. In exactly those words. What they do with that info depends on the professor, but I guarantee it’s not the weirdest excuse they’ve heard, and it is quite likely that they’ll believe you even if they refuse to make it an “excused” absence.

[omghotmemes]

a true work of art from Disney

[dragonkyngreborn]

[vergak]