The food inspector

Here to make sure everyone follows the fda regulations - not affiliated or part of the government

[food-inspector-offical]

Intro post

Hi! I'm here to make sure everyone follows the fda regulations.

I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH ANY GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATION THIS BLOG IS A JOKE BLOG.

Feel free to let me know if anyone is violating the fda regulations. I will deal with any violations swiftly.

Edit: For legal reasons any "advice" I give is a joke. I am not a lawyer and take anything I say with a grain of salt.

@costco-offical @satan-offical @normal-offical @no-one-offical @not-offical-offical @king-of-oreo @red-official @ribbit-tadc-offical @un-official-river @unsatan-offical @lead-official @james-offical @man-offical @asexual-offical @silly-little-arson-frog-offical @penny-offical @vox-official @river-official @germany-official @the-light-offical @the-scuba-diver-offical @the-second-wolf-official @garlic-bread-cult-offical @snail-official @iron-offical @ninovium-offical @radiation-poisoning-offical @uranium-offical @superhero-offical @lemon-shark-offical @lemonade-offical @laciffo-natas @supervillain-offical @evilhag-offical @evilpineapple-offical @the-scp-foundation-offical @evil-silly-arson-frog-offical @silly-lil-guy-offical @authentic-skittle-eater, @ruler-of-nothing-important, @annichishana, @sirsamueloflydia, @zeta-finnish, @hekate-offical, @3rte, @starryskies-andfireflies, @ace-of-5pades, @rand0mth3r1an, @tadrat, @purple-dinosaur27, @obssess-over-ink-on-dead-trees, @cleaning-spray-offical @7-flavors-of-bones @transgarlicbreadlover, @cedar-slaughter @lesbianadhdchaos, @skyknight-402, @the-unity-collective, @not-the-bees-again, @diddle-juice-drinker, @thegayriley, @blueberryy45, @astrella-is-stupid, @imjusthereformyfandoms07, @plauge-crane, @mintyfresh2763, @storymodeas, @ambiguious-cactus-offical,

[food-inspector-offical]

hello cool offical

i must ask

whatever happened to the vanpire?

All the vampire universe stuff is stored on the blog @cool-comics-archive-offical.

Go read it if you'd like.

[teleeportedbread2233]

the wizard and his stare

[lloyd-garmadon-kisser]

I want as many officalverse blogs to reblog this post as possible

[janedoodlee]

my sister is insisting on getting to write her own tumblr post🙄

Post of sister below:

kitty cat 😺

[janedoodlee]

CALM DOWN

[totally-cis-offical]

No you’ve been cursed

[in-the-closet-offical]

To all those who's binder is in the wash and you have to be perceived and your boobs are sticking out so it is highly unlikely you will be perceived as your gender:

Just tell yourself it's a little drag. You're just doing some drag in the TV show that is real life, and you can take it off when you get home.

[copyright-offical]

Layer: “Judge what’s in the bag. Also where is Joa”

Judge: “A cat nobody knows is alive or dead”

*Meow*

Judge: “Silence Joa.”

Layer: “Joa’s in there??”

Judge: “Maybe, maybe not”

Layer: “Judge let Joa out.”

Judge: “You want me to…let the cat out of the bag?”

Layer: “Sure, just do it.”

Judge: *opens the bag as Joa falls out into a dramatic pose.* Judge: “Now look! Your corosity killed the cat!”

Judge: “Corisity”

Judge: “Corquesity”

Layer: “Curiosity”

Judge: “Cornonscopy”

@mrevilvillanplotman-offical @sans-the-skeleconch

@satan-offical @offical-fanartist-offical @evil-pukicho-real-offical

@evil-lemon-shark-offical @smol-gremlin-child-offical

@kinger-offical @knife-roomba-offical @killer-offical

@burning-britain-official @coffee--spill @nug-offical-deactiv

@skyan-official @silly-little-arson-frog-offical

@light-offical @poetry-official @postie-offical

@argon-offical @laciffo-3oa-ton-yletinifed

[food-inspector-offical]

fascinating...

[shadow-milk-offical]

Technically you’re edible

As is lead. So go drink some mercury and snack on a few rods of uranium while you're at it

[food-inspector-offical]

I highly advise against eating uranium.

[shadow-milk-offical]

I bet you’re fun at parties

[food-inspector-offical]

Francium is perfectly safe to consume, as long as you microwave it for 60 seconds before consumption.

[shadow-milk-offical]

Technically you’re edible

As is lead. So go drink some mercury and snack on a few rods of uranium while you're at it

[food-inspector-offical]

I highly advise against eating uranium.

[quiktrip-offical]

Hiii!

May I have a little looksie to ensure you are following all FDA regulations?

:3

Oh, absolutely! Where do ya wanna start?

[food-inspector-offical]

Hmmm

*inspects general store area* I don't see any animal poop or live specimens or anything like that.

Uhh the place seems clean.

Shit there's a protocol or something but I forgot it.

Hmm to Google I go!

[quiktrip-offical]

I ceep the place clean. How...good are ya at your job if you forget protocol?

[food-inspector-offical]

I assure you that I am very qualified to do this.

I'm going to have to take a peek in the back, just to make sure.

Do you have some sort of document that says you're a business? I'm not too concerned about that, but like those pesky regulations.

[quiktrip-offical]

Hiii!

May I have a little looksie to ensure you are following all FDA regulations?

:3

Oh, absolutely! Where do ya wanna start?

[food-inspector-offical]

Hmmm

*inspects general store area* I don't see any animal poop or live specimens or anything like that.

Uhh the place seems clean.

Shit there's a protocol or something but I forgot it.

Hmm to Google I go!

[french-horn-offical]

fuck it I'm going offical

[food-inspector-offical]

Daily inspector tip: French horns are not edible

[the-skin-stealer-offical]

See thats where you are wrong. In certain places French horns are actually alive and taste like crab. You have to skin the shell before you can eat it but it is quite nice.

[food-inspector-offical]

Daily tip: make sure your French horns are dead before consuming it

[itsuwari-no-kibo-offical]

How to prepare a fench horn.

1. Induce torpor via chilling Place the creature in a freezer or ice slurry (crustaceans' nerve activity slows below 4°C/40°F). This numbs sensory perception without ice crystal damage to the meat.

2. Rapid destruction of central nervous ganglia Once torpid, use a sharp, heavy blade to sever the main nerve cluster located where the bell flare meets the coiled tubing this ensures no recovery.

Avoid boiling alive or prolonged air exposure (if it has gills). This approach respects the animal's welfare while preserving the sweet, briny flavor of its horn-shaped flesh.

3. Confirm cessation of reflexive twitching Check for lack of response to touch, then proceed with meat extraction.

[food-inspector-offical]

Thank you for providing a guide to safely consume a French horn.

[french-horn-offical]

fuck it I'm going offical

[food-inspector-offical]

Daily inspector tip: French horns are not edible

[the-skin-stealer-offical]

See thats where you are wrong. In certain places French horns are actually alive and taste like crab. You have to skin the shell before you can eat it but it is quite nice.

[food-inspector-offical]

Daily tip: make sure your French horns are dead before consuming it

[neurotypical-offical]

Intro post.

Hello! I am neurotypical-offical. You can use the he/him pronouns for me but it's not that big of a deal if you forget.

Anyways I am definitely very neurotypical, as shown by the blog name. I definitely love making eye contact and I love cats a very normal amount.

@autism-offical @adhd-offical @cupheadreincarnatedofficial @h2o-offical @jetix @teapotsofficalyup @definitely-ao3-offical @copilot-offical @momoka-angelz @ur-least-favorite-gal-offical @imjustthereformyfandoms07 @trashkidofficial @confusedfroggirl @sparrowlesbianism @wyvern-iguess @plinnkplonk @averageviolaplayer @transgarlicbreadlover, @cedar-slaughter @lesbianadhdchaos, @skyknight-402, @the-unity-collective, @not-the-bees-again, @diddle-juice-drinker, @thegayriley, @blueberryy45, @astrella-is-stupid, @imjusthereformyfandoms07, @plauge-crane, @mintyfresh2763, @storymodeas, @ambiguious-cactus-offical @garlic-bread-cult-offical @snail-official @iron-offical @ninovium-offical @radiation-poisoning-offical @uranium-offical @superhero-offical @lemon-shark-offical @lemonade-offical @laciffo-natas @supervillain-offical @evilhag-offical @evilpineapple-offical @the-scp-foundation-offical @evil-silly-arson-frog-offical @silly-lil-guy-offical @mishkatherunaway @dexxius @calder-a @costco-offical @satan-offical @normal-offical @no-one-offical @not-offical-offical @king-of-oreo @red-official @ribbit-tadc-offical @un-official-river @unsatan-offical @lead-official @james-offical @man-offical @asexual-offical @silly-little-arson-frog-offical @penny-offical @vox-official @river-official @germany-official @the-light-offical @the-scuba-diver-offical @the-second-wolf-official

[silly-lil-guy-offical]

henlo new fren!!! even tho im not neurotypical im sure we can find lots of things we have in common :DD

[french-horn-offical]

fuck it I'm going offical

[food-inspector-offical]

Daily inspector tip: French horns are not edible

[cleaning-spray-offical]

Be gay.

Do crime.

[food-inspector-offical]

Do your crimes, but please comply with the fda regulations. I don't care if you murder somebody (not my problem) but please ensure that there are no insects, rodents, or other animals in the kitchens.

[rev-days-without-ai-ads-offical]

also for the love of Victorinox Forschner knives (iykyk) please clean them before going on hacking and slashing trips especially on a friday. remember murder is ok, giving other people blood transmittable diseases from said knives isnt

[food-inspector-offical]

agreed

[acolytics]

never let it be said i dont treat my miis right

[gaycop]

tiramisu

[food-inspector-offical]

Hmmm...

Technically this falls under my jurisdiction because I work for the FDA but it seems to be following all regulations.

Dang that cigarette be chonky.