[formerpunkqueen]

unpretty: paintmeahero: sylveonce: ... - Patron Saint of Shitposts

unpretty: paintmeahero: sylveonce: unpretty: gregorydickens: victorian-sexstache: unpretty: son-of-maglo

[hydrogenandtonic-deactivated202]

are we ever going to talk about how you have to get actual permission from both your captain and doctor in order to have sex with an alien

like who sits around Starfleet and makes these rules

[lohlunat]

For everyone wondering about this:

“All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their CO as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species.” (VOY: “The Disease”)

It’s true. 

[flowerkirks-deactivated20140917]

this is hilarious

yo captain i wanna bang this alien

[unicorncoalition]

sdfsldkfslkj this is the part of Bones’s job he hates the most, going through all the forms on his PADD to give the green-light to all these potential sexual encounters he just WISHES HE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE but you know he actually DOES SOME RESEARCH to see if people will be COMPATIBLE whereas Jim just ticks the box, all, FREE LOVE, BONES and Bones has to be like GODDAMMIT DID YOU EVEN READ THE FILE, JIM, THEY DON’T EVEN HAvE ORIFICES and Jim is like, wow, Bones, they can still have fun, don’t judge

and bones

hates

everything

[tptigger]

This sounds like the sort of rule that got instituted because of something that happened to Kirk, TBH.

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

It’s referred to in Bones’ log as “The Incident” and Kirk was itchy and purple for weeks

[elvellontrash]

shout out to Karl Urban as Eomer for giving one of the most heart wrenching cries ever produced in cinematic history where you can essentially feel the anguish and shock that he is going through to find that his sister was on the battlefield, and is now injured, presumably dead. words cannot describe his pain.

[house-of-crows]

This is basically the quintessential Urban role and I will fight you

[frowningfox]

A Blood Mage goblin, or a “Hemogoblin”, if you will.

[foulserpent]

why does so much post apocalypse media have people wearing straight up bdsm/fetish gear like. do the kinksters watch the world ending and think “oh boy i can wear my bondage gear in public now”

[skelefolk]

thats actually exactly what happens

[femonologue]

What I wanna know is why the spiky kink warriors are always the bad evil marauders. They might be into some weird shit and unafraid to show it but that doesn’t mean they want to go around killing dudes. They’re a tight-knit bunch. A lot of them are queer. They understand the importance of community.

If the government collapses and all laws come to an end, the people rampaging around killing and looting are gonna be like, frat boys and 4chan rejects. You can mistrust the bondage raiders all you like but they’re definitely the ones you’re going to run to for help when the neoliberal blood cultists and Nazi meme demons lay siege to your survivor enclave. There’s gonna be gayboy berserkers busting up slaver gangs and burning down warboy frat houses. The assless-chaps leather daddies and weird petplay people are gonna be the accidental peacekeepers of the post-apocalyptic world just because they’re the only motherfuckers who understand the importance of consent anymore.

Listen. Don’t come to me asking how to get the secret cadre of bisexual death commandoes to protect your wretched tent village if you’re scared that we might call in the kinksters for backup. I don’t give a shit if they dress up like dogs and spend all day writing poems about butt plugs. There’s assholes out there acting like Vlad the Impaler on a meth bender and you’re afraid of seeing a nipple. Fuck you. If you really want to get rid of the MRA death gangs you’re going to have to accept that a lesbian chainsaw dominatrix or two might be involved. It’s the fucking post-apocalypse my guy we gotta weigh our priorities here

[abotl]

…that’s a feature, not a bug.

[naamahdarling]

NAZI MEME DEMONS

holy shit this is incredible

[formerpunkqueen]

I wanna be part of the bisexual death commandos

[dying-dog]

[cynological]

That’s a weird dragon.

[lemonteaflower-deactivated20260]

[anniedraws-deactivated20161204]

lemonteaflower:

You know you did great when they don’t need you anymore…  

SOB

[betpisbroken-deactivated2014041]

[altemo3]

we were so close to this ending on a good note… why…

[lemonteaflower-deactivated20260]

this fucking post popped up in my dash again i swear it haunts me since the day i posted it why must it come back why must it always have that last pic attached why did this happen i did not sign for this.

[mysterymanbob-deactivated201804]

rip

[tailsandco]

baby smiles are to die for! 💕

[house-of-crows]

@lokeanconcubine @formerpunkqueen

SNEK!

[formerpunkqueen]

😍😍😍

[spitandvinegar]

New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

- that man really salts my melon!

- you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

- a louse will live on any head it lands on

- don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

- there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

- like digging a pond and hoping for ducks

[faedex-blog]

This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

[lolrider]

its weird these don’t mean anything but you can still kind of intuit what they would mean if they were things people actually said.

[steel-dragon]

@lexicalpsychopathy I literally can’t help but picture you saying all of these

[grifalinas]

That man really salts my melon: Salt is actually frequently added to melons around here, so someone who salted your melon would be doing you a favor, or make something more appealing. Even though the framing presents it as a negative thing, so maybe you’d use it for someone who annoys you by doing you a favor.

It takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken: Even if something might seem like a small ask, over time it might add up. A single chicken might eat a small amount of corn in a single day, but over time you’ll find you’ve bought lots of corn. Therefore, something that seems miniscule may in fact be a large commitment.

A louse will live on any head in lands on: Everyone can suffer through bad times and ill luck, regardless of their lot in life. (ie, anyone can suffer from depression, even if they haven’t got it “bad enough”)

Don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows: There are multiple possible meanings for this. My favorite is don’t take time fixing a problem you don’t even have, ie, if you don’t have cows, you don’t have the problem of your cows needing a salt lick.

There’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big: Don’t blame circumstances for a problem of your own creation.

Like digging a pond and hoping for ducks: Don’t just hope something will turn out after one step, actually follow through all of them. Your pond could attract ducks, sure, or you could just go get ducks to live in your pond.

Seriously, every single one of these nonsenses you just made up follow a certain internal logic and make perfect sense.

[trashfirefallon-deactivated2019]

@glumshoe

[breelandwalker]

This gives me life. XD

[queerdungeons]

iconic

[nonespark-blog]

you don’t have to know anything about Star Wars, but PLEASE watch this.

[djbhfkjejieuihesowppw-deactivat]

reblog this post with a cool animal species lets make a wholesome thread

[djbhfkjejieuihesowppw-deactivat]

ok ill give a headstart:

i really like leopard seals 

[x-d001]

axolotls are p rad

[djbhfkjejieuihesowppw-deactivat]

I LOVE THOSE

[iridiceae]

potoos look like muppets and i ove tem

[roachpatrol]

here’s a quokka it’s like someone decided to splice together a wallaby and a teddy bear they literally always look like a benevolent cartoon

i don’t think you can get more wholesome than that adorable lil seed-eating smiley face. they’re not even like dolphins, cute on the outside and evil on the inside. they’re herbivores about the size of a cat. there is nothing wrong with them. 

[spaceshipoftheseus]

The Springhaas, or “irl pikachu” as it is sometimes known, is basically a rat shaped like a bunny abruptly caught in the middle of trying to evolve into a kangaroo. This is why they tend to look startled.

[creaturesofnarrative]

This is a dik dik. They are tiny antelopes from southern and eastern Africa–seriously so smol. With teeny hooves and teeny horns and big soulful eyes. And the name is fun to say. It comes from the alarm call that the females make. They live together in monogamous pairs. 

[dragonnan]

Long Eared Jerboa

The adorable mash-up of a hamster, bunny, and kangaroo. Whiskers with no end, ears that put a fennec to shame, and adorability beyond measure!

[djbhfkjejieuihesowppw-deactivat]

bringing this back on your dashes

[dharmagun]

a sichuan takin bull and his daughter

often the color of donald trump’s hair and looking like a cross between a bison and a guinea pig, the takin is actually a bloody big goat-antelope. they have splendid noses, a natural smile, and share their habitat with pandas. which should be good enough for anyone.

[givemeunicorns]

This is an okapi. They are related to giraffe, can lick their own eyeballs and kind of always look like you just asked them for a ride to the airport but look at those ears and the little striped legs ~(*^*)~

[onebigyoush]

Chambered nautilus! A living fossil! I also love axolotl though.

Originally posted by montereybayaquarium

[ember-light]

A cinnamon bear! Actually a member of the black bear family, they’re one of the more calm species out there. We also have matching hair <3 Enjoy this one with a heart on its chest!

[hakuna-tit-tata]

Red pandas!

Originally posted by cutestuffco

[heroes-get-made-deactivated2022]

HIGHLAND COWS

[shootingstarpilot]

This is the most wholesome post on tumblr.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I love echidnas

ESPECIALLY BABY ECHIDNAS

[dovahkulaas]

Fennec foxes!!

[supernachtkuchen]

I love all of these!

[wrenkly]

Capybaras! They’re the largest cavy species,(cavies are animals like guinea pigs) They’re BASICALLY a giant golden retriever in the skin of  guinea pig.

[percyhoneybee]

MANATEES

Originally posted by lovefloridauk

They’re just big lumps that float around the sea. They’re non-aggressive, non-territorial herbivores that spend most of their time sleeping or eating, or they might be socializing with other manatees or investigating interesting objects.

Best of all, as of this year they are no longer endangered!!

[tiny-pebble]

Maine coons!! So soft and friendly!!!

Look at these babies!!!

Majestic af!!! 

[louiselafantasma]

MANED WOLF. Basically what a fox would look like if it was a supermodel.

[xtoxictears]

Favourite post.

[this-is-nowherenearsparta]

@geekwiththeglasses

[flashysparklesonthewater]

A freshwater sawfish (i.e. my favorite animal when I was about 12.  Learning about them taught me the word “estuary”)  They’re mostly really large but look at this baby one

[house-of-crows]

@lokeanconcubine @formerpunkqueen

ANIMALS!

[house-of-crows]

@formerpunkqueen

Enjoy the cute animals spam :D

[formerpunkqueen]

Oh, it's just what I needed. :D

[formerpunkqueen]

Don’t know how I feel about christmas this year. Had good moments with family, weird moments with husband, all tempered by the complete lack of snow/holiday spirit and a fussy 6 week old who’s hungry all the time. Also a lot of worrying abouy going back to work in a week and a half and how the hell I’m going to feed my son.

Not sure how I feel about it all. At least I’m not so depressed I can’t get out of bed this year. Still not the best Christmas. Husband just wanted to stay home and do nothing for christmas, but I needed to get out, since all I’ve been doing is staying home. So I had a mopey husband and a hungry son at my folks and I felt I had to cater to both (not that I mind feeding my boy, I rather like it) and there was a damper on the whole evening? Idk. I couldn’t enjoy the family time like I wanted to.

Anyway. Back on the shitty couch in our shitty little apartment and nursing the boy again…and trying not to be annoyed at a multitude of things…..

[anni-doodles-deactivated2016041]

[rederiswrites]

I’m fucking dying; we’ve got this three year old over, and he finds our Green Lantern mask, so he comes up to me wearing it and asks what Green Lantern’s powers are.  So I tell him Green Lantern has a ring that can ‘make anything he imagines’ (I mean he’s three, I’m not going to Get Into It) and he runs off.

And like 40 seconds later, we hear, “Ring, make me into the Flash!”

Fuckin’ COLD, man.

[lemonsharks]

@taraljc omg 

[taraljc]

THAT’S HILARIOUS.

[xtaketwox]

ELEVEN YEARS. FINALLY FINISHED

[fuckyeahneedlework]

Well done, you!

[ethansembroidery]

Beautiful work!

[formerpunkqueen]

Whoa

[chouncazzodicasino]

[formerpunkqueen]

I would like a copy of this painting in my home