There Is No Such Thing As Skin

CM. They/Them.

[fourformyheadaches]

I still have fantasasies where you text me and tell me you love me.

[fourformyheadaches]

I posted this five years ago

We’re getting married in two months

[fourformyheadaches]

Been married for over a year now! Sometimes things actually do work out!

[fourformyheadaches]

Wedding anniversary three years and six days ago!

[fourformyheadaches]

North doesn’t exist in space beyond humanity’s base need to ascribe meaning to the meaningless as the universe laughs

[depsidase]

[trapny]

This is more inspirational than I think it was originally intended to be

[cloudabserk]

based on this post:

[rockshitty]

Yearning for what you can never have is beginner level. Real yearners know the good shit is what you could freely have if you allowed yourself to, but never will.

[ryan-sometimes]

Popular ships are so funny because with some of them I can even see the vision, but with others I see their serious believers as the flat earthers of fandom

[mulderscully]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | 4.09 🩸🍷

[sweetlikehypoglycemia]

This scene fucked me up

[greelin]

[as if this is not a normal and natural human thing to want] yeah i just really want to connect with people for some reason. Like some weird loser freak

[sstrawbearri]

basically the best thing a story can have is a woman who is doomed. massive points if she destroys the people around her in response.

[fourformyheadaches]

Me, having bought more piercing needles for the first time in like seven years, picked them up when I got home from work with the intention of using immediately. I then had the thought “nah, this would’ve more fun drunk”, because apparently the needles brought out the latent 20 year old I used to be

Anyway, I’m on my second beer and still trying to decide on the placement

[celluzu]

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

[tlirsgender]

Experiencing a more severe form of The Vitamin fantasizing that perhaps there's simply a The Surgery that will fix everything wrong with me like "it turns out every bone in your body was accidentally turned upside down and that's why you're like this, we have to operate immediately" and I get my Everything replaced and everyone has to be so fucking nice to me while recovering from My Surgery and then I'm cured. This is almost definitely not going to happen but god can you imagine

[tlirsgender]

It is not lost on me that the term The Surgery also carries another connotation & rest assured when I get my quadruple knee + hip replacement they will also give me a sex change while they're at it

[tlirsgender]

I feel like a car that needs an oil change

[teaboot]

How do I describe to the young folk that I would rather stab myself in the leg than record video of my own face

[no-resolution]

Buffy and Spike should have gotten married for real in Something Blue just so we could've had them try to get divorced

[fourformyheadaches]

This and a baseball bat

[lizardsister]

[windup-angel]

these belong on the post imo

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.