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@foxgirlriley
Since there's a new banwave going around, you can find me at "@[email protected]" and "@foxgirlriley.bsky.social"
Mrrreow i post more on fedi than i do here (as in not just reblogging stuffs). So follow me there if you wanna see what i'm yapping about for whatever reason :3
>:3
:0 awawawa >w< holding the fops
mhm, u get held
Mrrrreow >w<
>:3
:0 awawawa >w< holding the fops
A question for the ages.
The earlier on Tuesday you reblog this the funnier it is. (5:28am)
THE UK Government has refused to publish any information it holds on a shadowy Israeli firm caught meddling in the Scottish parliament elect
The UK Government has blocked the release of files detailing an Israeli firm caught meddling in Scottish elections.
That's 100% on Andy Burnham.
but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:
start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)
measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.
remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.
become consumed with despair.
decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.
remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit.
once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.
now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably.
take a minute to dwell upon your failings.
grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.
pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up.
melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.
put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.
remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)
CONSUME THE RICE.
realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen.
put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.
for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.
i really played myself with this post huh. every time it gets a note i start wanting rice.
for anyone who wants it, here is my family’s actual recipe for assyrian baked rice:
1lb / approx. 2 ⅓ cups basmati rice (any long-grain rice will do)
3 tbsp salt
8 tbsp / 1 stick butter (you can reduce this if you don’t want to have a heart attack)
Put the rice in a pot and cover it in cold water and salt. Let it soak overnight. (If you don’t have the time to soak it, rinse the rice with cold water until it runs clear.)
Edit: The reason you want to soak basmati and other aromatic rice before cooking is to preserve more acetylpyrroline, the compound that gives aromatic rice its characteristic scent and flavor. Soaking rice allows the grains to absorb water, which reduces the cooking time, which means less time for the acetylpyrroline to cook off. It’ll still taste pretty good if you can’t do this, but you don’t want “pretty good”, you want mind-blowing, so for that perfect flavor you’ll want to soak your rice overnight. The soaking process also washes away the layer of starch on the outside of the rice, which allows the grains to separate rather than sticking together; this is why you want to rinse your rice thoroughly if you don’t have time to soak it.
Preheat your oven to 325°.
Boil three quarts of water in a separate pot. Once it’s at a fast boil, drain the rice and add it to the water. Boil for 5-7min or until one grain tastes half-cooked, but not soft. Pour the rice into a colander and rinse with cold water.
Edit: This step also helps get rid of any remaining starch on your grains, for perfectly separated rice. If your colander or strainer has large holes, you can put a paper towel/cheesecloth/clean dishcloth on the inside in order to drain your rice. Pour carefully if you’re using a paper towel, though, and put a bowl underneath your colander; I once lost a heartbreaking amount of rice when my paper towel got oversaturated and tore open.
Liberally grease the bottom of your baking pan with some of your butter. Pour the rice on top. Melt the rest of the butter in the microwave and pour on top of the rice.
Bake for 45min. (If you like, cover the rice for part or all of the baking time, but I find it gets less crispy on top if you do this.) Shake the pan a couple times during baking to ensure that the butter distributes throughout the entire dish.
Eat.
Serves four. Can easily be scaled up if needed (or down, but why would you do that?). Best enjoyed with a nice cup of chai.
(cc @raisedbyhyenas )
reblog for the awesome recipe and to make op want rice (rice is so good. ofc you want rice)
>:(
this is all going away soon dot com slash jobs
mraow
Mrrreow ^w^
Riddles are cool because if you give up and hear the answer you can still appreciate how clever it is and picture yourself eventually arriving at the solution with persistence or a more developed mind
Trivia is like no, fuck you, the correct answer was a guy you've never heard of. chump.
the tiktokification of tumblr needs to be stopped
we don’t censor words here stop acting like a fool, when you censor words and tags people who have that word filtered due to triggers will still see it
Linux users, which DE do you use?
- KDE Plasma
- GNOME
- XFCE
- Cinnamon
- Mate
- COSMIC
- Niri
- i3
- Hyprland
- Sway
- Something Else
- I don't use Linux/Results
Linux users, which DE do you use?
KDE Plasma
GNOME
XFCE
Cinnamon
Mate
COSMIC
Niri
i3
Hyprland
Sway
Something Else
I don't use Linux/Results
Saw a tweet about mamdani solving the astrophage crisis and now im just imagining them sending mamdani to space
This came to me at 3pm in the afternoon
why are the most powerful people in the world all such whiny fucking babies now
Did u kno that meow meow meow? :3
In case you weren't aware, the goal of a boycott is to significantly impact the bottom line of a business to pressure it into stopping some specific harmful behavior.
This means that a disorganized "don't support this" with no clear timeframe, no clear demand being put forward, and no organized effort to reach the actual customers of the business... is pretty unlikely to achieve anything.
"Boycotts never achieve anything" factoid is actually a statistical error. Historically, boycotts have been an enormously successful pressure mechanism for collective action. Boycotts georg, a social media user who launches a million poorly strategized boycotts every day with no thought given to target selection or actionable demands, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
