welcome to my humble aboob

connor could smack my ankle with a scooter and i’d hug him doooooooodoodi

[politijohn]

This is important

[particularj]

THIS. So hard. We’re at the lowest tax rate in history for the wealthy and they just got a trillion more dollars last year in bonuses. If you aren’t a millionaire or close to it, you should be wondering why taxes aren’t closer to 94% on that high bracket for the wealthy. You know, like it was in the golden years of the 50s all these rich white people dream of.

[wingscanspeak]

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

[nightowlsupreme]

You’re going to get a cavity

[wingscanspeak]

good

[wingscanspeak]

30 min later, not much progress. 

[wingscanspeak]

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

[casualfanboy]

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

[wingscanspeak]

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

[wingscanspeak]

i’d rather be eating anything but this

[wingscanspeak]

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

[wingscanspeak]

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint. 

[wingscanspeak]

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

[butchercat]

‘Tis the season.

[clausy4life-deactivated20190624]

It’s November

[killjoygem]

TO BE JOLLY

[wombat-annihilator-deactivated2]

Up your game this year, OP.

[wingscanspeak]

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE. WHY???

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

So none of the pictures are loading but I already know this and I gotta reblog

[definitely-not-spiderman-uwu-de]

MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS

[thedeafroleplayer]

I love op! So determined! Fuck all candy canes!

[ruinedchildhood]

[flcralgogh]

how come in infinity war they didnt just kiss the infinity stones off thanos’s fingers like in robin hood

[pretty-castiel]

Reblog if you want a terrible, 3 sentence fan fiction in your ask, based on your url

[back-that-sass-up]

THIS HAS OVER 40,000 NOTES AND WITHIN FIFTEEN MINUTES I FOUND THIS IN MY MESSAGES:

“and then i saw him walk across the room. he got very close to me and whispered “back that sass up”“

[oroborochi]

80,000 NOTES AND I GOT ONE!

“ He descended upon me, that pink archangel, with those pink and ripe nipples. “

[anotherfirebender-deactivated20]

12 minutes “Oh not. Not another fire bender!” I said to myself. But then he came up behind me and grabbed my ass. So he’s cool now I guess 288,250 notes

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

HALF AN HOUR AT MOST “Its okay,” he said leaning his walking stuck against the wall and removing the young man’s glasses “ let me frost your roll” matt the blind cinnamon roll blushes as his core softened for his new lover.

[disastrousqueer]

i need that

[feralpussylover]

My url is pretty vanilla I doubt something will happen even

[feralpussylover]

Woah thanks anon!!💞❤👀

[anonymously-not-deactivated2021]

I don’t even think that’ll happen to me in the next 9000 years

[kaz3313]

Hope it happens, but my url is just a nickname

Edit- I love the one I got :>

[hetalia-text-messages]

Go on.

[dissonant-aria]

Hit me.

[asmund-scion-of-ice]

[justtryingtobemee]

Yessssss pleaseeeee

[textsfromsoumako]

Let’s dance.

[cynicallyneutral]

HECK I GOT ONE THIS IS UNREAL

[artorbust-deactivated20211111]

OHMYGOD H O W

[tapdancingaway]

I hope

[pastelvirgil]

it actually happened holy shit

[pidginyapping]

hm my url’s kind of odd i dunno abt this

[vampir3-mon3y]

Y’all-

[raccoontime]

🅱️lease

[holylightwolf-deactivated202103]

My name is perfect for this. Hit me with your best shot.

[allycattiny]

I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED!

[the-foxy-dreamer]

This ought to be good

[exerian-deactivated20181214]

I dare you.

[hrefnatheravenqueen]

I want this.

[awhovian4]

I want it too

[distractedsapphic]

Please

[the-incredible-spiderling-blog]

I kinda want this but i think I’ll cry at the story I might get

[percrew]

Oh god

[mackiecos]

Y e s

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

Do it bitches

[punny-trash]

Everytime I reblog one of these things, nothing happens.

Y’all cowards best step your game this time because I need this in my life now

[accidentalvegetable-deactivated]

I would very much like one.

[lius-is-a-catboy-deactivated202]

Yees

[thegreenpea]

I want one. @mycollectionofnuts @joannaharp @deanismymom @iloveposse @trees-and-sky @fangirl1970 @ultrajester @positively-gay you guys want one?

[deanismymom]

YESSSSS

[b00bconnoisseur]

I WANT ONE P L E A S E

[ghostswithoutjournals]

PLEASEEE

[la-knight]

I want one

[cookieface678]

I JUST GOT MINE MHGHJGHGJHHGJ

“I saw you, and thought your face was so cute. I got to know you, and see that you’re as sweet as a cookie, and I can see it all over you, even in your face: Cookie face. Make my heart beat like the tempo in a song: 6, 7, 8. Oh, cookie face, 6, 7, 8.”

465,760 NOTES LATER

[galaxy-nips]

oh lord terry let’s see

[ilovemusicalyy]

[tyleroakley]

i can’t stop thinking about this

[gremlingoth]

i’m all panic and no disco

[play-doh-slut]

i’ve had a realization and i’m sure it’s been done before but-

millennial depression:

vs

gen z depression:

[cpunks]

that weird group of teens who were born 1999-2003 all experienced millennial depression around age 12 and then currently experience gen z depression

[bumblydoodldoo]

I mean you right

[alkimara]

Yeah

[princeanxious]

Yeeeeupp.

[helpingg]

[suprchnk-archive-deactivated202]

i am 5000% in favor of shaming cigarette smokers get that bullshit away from me

[hot-tea-nanako]

But when vegans feel this way about meat y’all hurt 🤗

[leaderoftheneutrals]

Somehow. Some way. You brought up veganism. In a discussion about second hand smoke.

[zenokit]

what you gonna get? secondhand meat?

[ask-october-fox]

Ah..that fresh October breeze.Its calm, and peaceful.. Its nice to be back.🧡🎃

[bathtubjohnny]

Jack’s egos vs Mark’s ego

Jack: I like to base anti off fan art :) everything is canon because I want everyone to feel included ^_^ I want everyone to enjoy themselves and feel apart of this cool character :))))) pma

Mark: *SMASHES WINDOW* EVERYTHING IS A LIE *YEETS TYLER ACROSS THE ROOM* TRAGIC BACKSTORIES FOR YOUR FAVOURITES *STRANGLES ETHAN* THE REAL TRUTH BEHIND DARKIPLIER *PUNCHES BABY* TEARS AND SUFFERING AND ANGST AND TRAAAGGEDDDDYYYYY *AGGRESSIVELY CUDDLES AMY* damien and Celine might be siblings but idk it’s up to the viewer *pats Chica’s head lovingly*

[ruinedchildhood]

[twindoodle]

@coachnerd

[homodotus]

[arkaena-old]

Get ready guys

[chase-brody-protection-squad]

Jack: had my first smore ever the other day | me: wha - what the - what the f - wifi

I never had smores haha

I mean, it’s not that common in Europe, I never even roasted marshmallows you know?

[muscari-melpomene]

YOU WHAT

(I’m not the anon but as an American, your statement baffles me.)

[chase-brody-protection-squad]

YEP

I don’t even know how to do smores or if I can find them in a shop haha

And I was never really someone who likes camping so I never roasted marshmallows either!

[aquilacalvitium]

Hey that makes two of us. Up until recently if you’d talked about smores to me I’d have been like “wtf is a smore?”

In fact I’m still uncertain. If I understand correctly, it’s a marshmallow between two chocolate coated crackers roasted over a campfire or bbq, right?

[vampeyeliner]

HOW CAN YOU NEVER HAVE SMORES YOU HAVE TO BUY INGREDIENTS ASAP AND THEN NUKE IT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS IT’S NOT A FIRE ROASTED MARSHMALLOW SMORE BUT DAMN IS IT GOOD.

IT GOES GRAHAM CRACKER, CHOCOLATE BAR PIECE, BIG MARSHMALLOW, GRAHAM CRACKER

[chase-brody-protection-squad]

I’M NOT GONNA DO THIS RIGHT NOW IT’S LIKE 2 AM

But whenever I get the chance to, I’ll buy the ingredients and do it! :)

[save-jacksepticeye]

…there are people that haven’t had s’mores?? THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY

[chase-brody-protection-squad]

THIS IS EUROPE MY DUDE

[galaxy-nips]

this is absolutely baffling omf

I had s’mores 2 weeks ago because a group of people were hanging out, saw a fireplace, and legit just said “let’s have s’mores” like it’s that easy

[weirdbuzzfeed]

Police Set Up A Camera In Kansas To Find A Mountain Lion And WTF Is Happening

[buzzfeed]

For their part, the Gardner police said in a Facebook post that they thought it was pretty damn funny.

“We would like to sincerely thank the persons responsible as it made our day when we pulled up what we expected to be hundreds of pictures of coyotes, foxes and raccoons. Thank you to the citizens who noticed the cameras. Your effort and sense of humor are greatly appreciated.”

[fat-mabari]

I’d like to think that this is just how people in Kansas naturally behave at night.

[lemony-thicket]

there’s nothing else to do in kansas

[galaxy-nips]

if you know me -

yes I live in kansas.

I don’t see what’s wrong in these pictures ?

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

This morning I honestly had to defend my pals the bees and the june bugs against this one girl in my calculus class who dared to sit right in fucking front of me and shit talk some of the purest little insects on this earth as if they had personally wronged her or some shit, trying to swat at and crush this calm lil bee that was just minding her own damn business and of course I couldn’t let that shit fly, that’s practically assault, c'mon now

and it was all well and good for a bit like damn you know my ass is ready to square up, you know I have facts for days about how beautiful and beneficial bees are and how innocent and carefree june bugs be like they’re just trying their best okay fuck off, of course, but then-???

this bitch??? tried to come for moths??? like??

have y'all bitches ever seen a moth?? admired its soft little fuzz? its unique little antenna?? looked into its round little eyes??? h a ve y o u??

This rude ass bitch tried to tell me, m e bi t c h, the champion of the air’s little critters, that moths are?? ugly??? that they’re gross?? and don’t deserve our love and admiration?? umm??

Bitch moths are just tryna live their goddamn lives mind your damn business-

On behalf of the moths and all the other little crawly critters of sky, I am indignant, I am offended, absolutely affronted you might say, and I demand apology and retribution for these trespasses from the masses, past and present

I am Monarch to the Moths and their fellows and my army of wings will descend from the heavens to consume those who have wrong us, watch the skies and count your days until they are inevitably numbered

[egosurveillance]

i found a little caterpillar with a scar on its side in the road. it turned into a very pretty white lined sphinx moth!

be nice to bugs, guys.

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

!!!

LOOK!!! AT HER!!!

SHE’S BEAUTIFUL, SO SOFT, SO FLUFFY, WHAT A CLASSY GORGEOUS LADY, SURIVING DESPITE HER SCARS 😭😭

[galaxy-nips]

MOTHS ARE JUST SMALLER FUZZIER AND CAMOUFLAGED BUTTERFLIES THAT GIRL NEEDS TO STFU