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Bin wieder da, wo ich nie wieder sein wollte..
Anorexia is a deathly disease, not a lifestyle! Please stop it, if you can!!!
fuck this is me
For all my new followers: Some not-so-cute things about anorexia.
I want y’all to see the reality of this disorder.
EDIT: this is meant for those who are actively seeking out an eating disorder, or are romanticizing the illness, like “new anas.” this isn’t meant to cure anyone from anorexia.
1. being cold. all. the. time. you have to sleep with at least two blankets.
2. lanugo. think it’s cute to have thick hair ALL over your body??
3. that cute ass you had? it’s gone.
4. crying all the time
5. shaky hands, shaky arms, shaky legs, shaky everything.
6. you disappoint basically everyone important to you
7. it’s not cute to get smashed after one drink. it’s embarrassing.
8. forgetting everything. why did i walk into this room? where did i put my phone? why did i put my deodorant on the kitchen counter?
9. chewing food literally feels like you’re eating a live slug.
10. all those friends you love? you’ll basically never see them because you’re too afraid that they’ll suggest going out for lunch or try to give you food.
11. goal weights? not a thing. no matter how low your weight is, you’ll never be satisfied
12. this disorder literally kills you slowly, from the inside out
13. you have to sleep with a thick blanket or pillow between your knees because the feeling of your bones pressing against each other is too painful
14. your whole life feels like it’s a haze
15. concentration goes out the window. your grades will go down, you might even fail a class because for some fucking reason not eating is more important than getting a degree. think about that.
16. treatment is inevitable if you don’t get it under control yourself. and treatment is the worst experience you could possibly have – people FORCING you to eat, lots of crying, and its fucking expensive
17. you are so wasteful. all that healthy food you bought? you’ll eventually get to a point where you can’t even eat that and it just rots in your fridge.
18. it gets to a point where you care more about the number on the scale than your own fucking family
19. all your free time will be spent running. or walking. or working out. anything to burn off the calories you did (or didn’t) eat
20. eventually 50 calories is too much for one day
21. at a certain point, a size 0 is too big and all clothes look ill-fitting, not cute and baggy.
22. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. no matter how much you think you are, you’re not. you’re a slave to your own brain.
23. YOU ARE A LIAR. you lie to your family, to your therapist, to your friends, and there’s no undoing that. once people know you’re lying, they’ll never believe you again.
24. this disorder does not make you special. it makes you sick. and it makes you look selfish and weak to other people. that’s the reality.
25. get help.
this is the reality of this disorder. it’s not cute. it’s not fun. it’s addicting. and it ruins your life. that’s it. it’s an illness and you have to see it for what it is.
“Und das Gewicht sinkt…”
—
Stimmen in meinen Kopf die sagen " DU BIST ZU FETT!"
Old pic!
I don't no, but i want this body back! I miss this sooo much, but i know my life was a disaster... I know, if i get back to this weight, i risk my life and i risk to lose everything! Anorexia is always in my head
Die Anorexie kennt kein Zielgewicht! Du wirst nie einfach so aufhören wollen abzunehmen... Egal wie dünn du wirst! Dein Spiegelbild wird sich mehr und mehr verzerren und je mehr du ab nimmst, um so fetter wirst du dich fühlen... Hat dein Körper kein Fett mehr zum abbauen, zersetzen sich deine Organe! Dreh um, so lange du noch kannst! Lass dir von dieser Teufelskrankheit nichts einreden und such dir bitte professionelle Hilfe! Mich begleitet die Anorexie schon mehr, als die Hälfte meines Lebens und ich habe schon viele Versuche hinter mir, mich aus diesem Teufelskreis zu befreien... schaffe es nicht mich von ihr zu lösen und es ist eine Frage der Zeit, ehe ich an ihr verrecke! Nicht, weil ich dann zu dünn bin, sondern weil mein Körper, meine Organe und meine Psyche daran kapput gehen! Die Anorexie ist eine Bitch die kein Goal weight kennt... Sie kennt nur den Tod!
(pic is not me)