Be Gay, Do Crime

Danny|November 12|21 yr old|They/them|

[funny-tik-toks]

[hungarianator]

cis and het? what are the chances? isn't that a little too much my guy?

[hungarianator]

whoa whoa whoa slow down! neurotypical too? nah I can't believe you. literally no one is like that. that's just so rare. where did you get diagnosed?

[bonerfart]

there are only two genders

[dude-chill]

it’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[holyfunnyhistoryherring]

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

[moreawesomethantheaveragepossum]

[ID: a young black woman sits square facing the camera, she has long lashes and laid edges and kind of looks like she's about to cry.

She reaches out of frame and procures a small brown rooster with a very nice red comb and holds him to her chest.

End ID]

[bunjywunjy]

[ID: previous ID neglected to mention that upon procurement, the small brown rooster makes a noise like someone sneezing quietly into a harmonica.

End ID]

[catchymemes]

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

Men will wear earrings and paint their nails

[the-very-gendered-queen]

Is this an indictment or a celebration?

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

A commandment

[johnnycrass]

this how it looks to me when girls on here thirst after fictional men

[supermoonscarab]

[solverne-02]

I just think it's important that Tumblr knows a man is cosplaying as the Ever Given and is blocking doorways at Dragon Con 2021.

[solverne-02]

Here is a screenshot of the post he made that the DC Instagram page shared:

Sir, you are my hero.

[rezindian-deactivated20210804]

[pantstomatch]

Take all my money

[thelittleblackfox]

... SHIT HE'S RIGHT

[anais-ninja-bitch]

FUCK HE IS RIGHT

[cipheramnesia]

In a very limited sense, this is The Fall.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[everythingfox]

(via)

[mx-t4t0]

you know what? maybe i want to be dehumanized? not in an objectifying way but in the same way you ask "what the fuck made that noise" because it can't have been produced by a human. i'm not a human i'm a fucking space fairy moth dragon thing who wants to destroy governments. fuck.

[hypokeimena]

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

[ruffboi-mags]

my wife, after reading this to me aloud: It’s your people! …do you want me to break a clay pot for you to put back together?

me, burying my face in my hands: Maybe…?

[mycroftrh]

These are both moods, but unfortunately I am primarily a bioarchaeologist. (IE, I specialize in digging up old human skeletons.) And, uh, home-made bioarchaeology is tragically discriminated against by law enforcement.

[autie-girl-power]

Only if you get caught

[messymindpalace]

This whole post took an unexpected turn

[thatdisasterauthor]

Out of work paleontologists can take a page out of the Girl Scouts handbook and eat a chicken, clean the bones, encase them in a mud and plaster mix, then chip it back out. Which is legitimately how Girl Scouts earn their paleontology badge.

[strixus]

… I rebuilt my chicken by modeling muscles back onto the bones using clay, then putting skin on it and making it look like a dinosaur…. 

[thatdisasterauthor]

Perfect. Exactly the right way to add a part 2 to this project.

[wyrmzone]

enrichment

[mxbutchtwink]

Short men are so fruity. What are you short for? To be held by other men? To be picked up and carried hmmm? To be gently cradled in a man's arms?