idk @galaxywhale - Tumblr Blog

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

firewalkwithmedvd

One of the most important critical texts of this century imo

hypokeimena

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

doomtemparts

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

sandersstudies

We were doing an activity where the kids got to make a playbill for a musical about themselves and all the other kids were like “character list: mommy, daddy, me, my brother, my best friend” “scenes: I get a puppy, first day of school, my baby sister is born”

But one little girl was like “oh, it’s a musical about ME you say” and the character list was all the other girls in the class cast as her body parts, and a story about how her body works.

“Kaylee is nice so she will be the heart. Lily is my kidneys. Sapphire is the lungs.”

She surreptitiously showed me that the girl who kept taking the crayons she was using was cast specifically as “left buttcheek” and I had to pretend like that wasn’t the funniest thing I’d ever seen.

normystical

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

the-quasar-hero

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications

we get a lot of US state name questions at my weekly trivia night and after repeatedly getting stuck trying to think of some, like 6 months ago I decided I was gonna learn the animaniacs US states song aka all the states in alphabetical order

and then tonight it finally paid off when I stood up first in whole room full of people and walked my correct 7th US state in an alphabetical list up to the host and got the answer right quicker than every other person in the room and looked super smart in front of everyone

#I’ve only learnt up to the Ns djdjfkfk so I’m just glad it was the start of the alphabet #the host: in an alphabetical list #me: 👀#host: which is the 7th US state #me: my time to shine 🙌🙌#and I got back to the table and my friends had been like Emily’s got this #but even if she miscounted she’ll be pretty close and had already written down the state that’d be before and after mine ready to take up 😅#anyway shoutout to the animaniacs and Connecticut for winning me $10 tonight and making me look smart #to like 100+ people

damazcuz

Whenever I have to make a difficult phone call, I always make sure to freak myself out really bad about it first and imagine every worse case scenario that could happen where they track me down and rip my heart out of my chest for daring to call with bad news. I do this for at least 30 minutes and for up to three hours before I make the call and then, yup, you guessed it, the phone call goes just fine and they're not even mad at me. And then i make sure not to learn from that so that I can still get really scared next time too.

thomasmomwell

there should be a special heart button you can press that's just for when your friend's tags are really good

rosecrystal

This amount of individualism is exactly whats gonna kill us all btw

ashintheairlikesnow

"Going a couple hours without eating a single kind of food? No thanks, I would rather kill a child" is such a wildly horrifying take to see MULTIPLE people proudly stating.

snommelp

The person comparing a nut allergy to diabetes (a) doesn't understand how either works and/or (b) doesn't care.

"If I eat too much sugar my body shuts down, this is exactly the same as someone going into anaphylactic shock when exposed to minute amounts of peanut dust, I am so incredibly intelligent"

#‘YOU should be taking precautions’ like #idk letting the airline know in advance #so they can communicate it to other passengers ?#that sounds like a precaution to me?

thefairytaler

My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.

If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.

#I teach this a lot to my classes bc I feel like it’s a good thing to learn #and if you learn it when you’re like…7 then maybe you’ll remember it when you get older #we go 1) I am sorry for… 2) it was wrong because… 3) next time I will…. 4) are you ok?#we haven’t gotten into the responding to an apology yet but I like to teach them they don’t have to say ‘it’s ok’#unless they really do feel like it’s ok

cloudabserk

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.