caelan (none; aux. she/it & choco/chocos): um so this is gonna be a fun one.. this answer is going to be really long, because like it's really complicated, depending on what I include theres like 4 different cultures that have affected me, two from source and two from the body. I have a near-complete memory of almost all my life in source, like 90% detail, whereas I only have bits and pieces of "real" life memories I inherited from gray, like maybe 30-40%, (just memories from prior to forming), and after I stopped repressing it, my source memories affect my decisionmaking a lot more than the 'real' ones, so I'll start with the memories from 'real' life childhood; I'm mixed, mostly white but partially Algonquian native american (though I don't remember which tribe), and growing up around a few others of that culture, has made it so I feel very connected to this land and consider myself a spirit of appalachia, (Despite nekomata generally being japanese spirits.). a majority of my gray's upbringing, and thus that of our body, was white christian [Gray is the previous host/main fronter of our system and the person I split from], and it's had a pretty large effect on how I view the world and treat others. I don't have a great relationship with the church as an entity, it's hurt a lot of people and I have hundreds of its atrocities in my memory, but my view of the religion itself is mostly neutral, with some positives and negatives, and some teachings still influence my worldview, like the views on forgiveness. beyond that though, the biggest influence of christian culture on my identity is this feeling that I am forsaken by the christian god, but also unwelcome in the halls of hell. now into my source. I am a chara fictive, before falling into the underground, before forming in this system, I was born in 1771 in a commune off the north-north-east coast of south america, near Caracas/Valencia. I don't want to get too into detail, but; they were an isolationist group who believed our world was like a play (or closer to a videogame, but that didn't exist yet) and their god would descend and take over the body of one of them, becoming the 'player/mc', while the rest of us were meant to set the stage, but also stay ready in case one of us kids became its vessel. the way my commune's religion still affects me is that I tend to think of myself as a narrator, or helper-type character. I came to terms with that during my time in the underground I felt like I was supposed to push other people into the spotlight and set their stage, and that role suited me: helping build old home, befriending generations of monsters, and as a ghost, watching over fallen kiddos and helping the ones who could hear me. but now that I'm out here, I've been working on reframing that. I've come to view this as a second chance at living, and I want to make the biggest impact I possibly can, to be as memorable as possible, take center stage myself, but also grab all of my loved ones by the hand and bring as many of them into the spotlight as possible, if they're willing.. my time in the underground also gifted me with this disdain for humans that bleeds into my personality sometimes, because I feel as though humans are far far more awful than the creatures they literally named "monsters." (ending this part of the thought here cause it strays too far from the initial question) and my time with Clover and Frisk as a ghost, combined with the hospitality and new family I gained during that time, led me to wanting to bring joy and kindness to as many people as I possibly can, and to internalizing my hate rather than letting it out at others (and I'm very good at that). lastly, I feel like a girl out of time. this world is incredibly unlike the one I remember, and I find myself fascinated with the modern world, its technology and infrastructure, its problems, everything here is so different and I want to learn it all. all the things that fade into the background for you people who find all this incredible stuff just normal parts of daily life, I want to know it all