the Lord's people are a peculiar people @genderqueer-mormon - Tumblr Blog

Loki 'what is gender' Laufeyson

Affirmation Conference is looking to create a space for queer people with either a past, present, or nebulous relationship with the LDS Church between the ages of 18-25. In-line with this effort, we are interested in assessing the needs of queer people in this age range. Those who fill out the survey should fall in this age range, identify as LGBTQ+ and have either a past, present, or shifting relationship with the LDS Church. This survey is anonymous. No identifying information will be collected.

Are you age 18-25?

Are you a Mormon, ex-Mormon, or kind-of-Mormon?

Affirmation wants to hear from you. Please click on the link to take an anonymous survey.

Affirmation holds a Conference each summer in Utah. They’re looking for use the survey to help setup a conference track that meets the needs & interests of people like you.

I’ve attended the annual conference a few times and have found it very beneficial. I’m impressed by the leadership of Affirmation and the work they do.

Please complete the survey if you match the targeted demographic.

mormonmonastery

Affirmation does great work for the queer Mormon community. If you fit in the age range and demographics for the survey, please help them out.

midwestijorts

signal boost!

aaliyahbreaux

I wonder how many gay people are actually transgender & dont know it because people thing being transgender is transitioning when it’s literally just not being cis.

aaliyahbreaux

like I had a friend tell me last night “all my life I wanted to be a girl. even to this day, like if someone told me I could transition & look like you or *insert another trans woman idk* I would do it in a heartbeat” and when I was like omg ur transgender he was surprised? like he was like wait just wanting to be a girl makes me transgender even if I dont do anything about it? and like its harder to pinpoint non binary people but if u have a desire be a different gender ur transgender. transitioning is a choice but being transgender is not.

divinegaeity-deactivated2023101

“One of the symptoms of being a girl is wanting to be a girl.” Don’t remember where I heard that but the quote is my life.

lumberjackloverboy-moved

This is one of the posts I can explicitly pinpoint as helping me realize that I might not be cis. The biggest symptom of being trans is wanting to not be your gender. It can also be dysphoria, it can also be euphoria, it can also be presentation, but wanting to be something else is all you really need.

aceofsquiddles

#wait so ur telling me#‘i dont want to have a gender’#can mean#‘i dont have a gender??’ I would also like to know… for reasons

accept-nothing

Confirmed. How to know you’re agender: You don’t want to be anything else. You look at the options for gender and gender presentation and decide to go back to bed

aceofsquiddles

Bold of you to assume I got out of bed

Nah but seriously thanks for the insight

avon-vila

So, if I look at gender and say “this is some bullshit and I want no part of it”, I guess that makes me agender?

saint-batrick

if that’s how you wanna identify, yeah.

feeling anything mentioned in this post doesn’t mean you have to identify as trans, but feeling anything in this post is literally all that’s necessary to identify as trans if you want to.

fuck gatekeepers forever.

zim-kinnie

👏if👏you👏don't👏feel👏cis👏you're👏possibly👏not👏cis👏

hasenfu

i mean this is literally what jvn said

deathcomes4u

This is one of those things where you can go 25+ years of your life not realising that actually no not everyone secretly wishes they were some mashup of male and female and that you are, in fact, genderfluid as fuck.

kyraneko

You can want to be the other gender.

You can want to be another gender.

You can want to divorce all connection to the gender you were born into.

You can want to keep it as an origin point that shapes your journey.

You can want to be more than one gender at once.

You can want to be more than one gender, at different times.

You can want to be no gender.

You can want to be sort of in between genders.

You can want to be both genders.

You can want to be rid of gendered body parts you already have.

You can want to keep gendered body parts while also being another gender.

You can want to be rid of them but not want the side effects of excising them.

You can feel dysphoria at being shaped like/viewed as/treated like a gender you don’t want.

You can feel euphoria at being shaped like/viewed as/treated like a gender you do want.

You can change your mind or adjust your goals or refine your wishes.

You can be stationary and fixed in your identity.

You can be fluid and changing.

You can be extremely gendered in your presentation.

You can be not very gendered in your presentation.

You can be androgynous.

You can be a little of both.

You can be a lot of both.

If gender is a line you can cross, as the words trans (across/on the other side of) and cis (here/on the same side of) indicate, you can cross it in any way you like, including dancing on top of it.

Be happy.

Be you.

desolate-avocado

Um.

I uh…

I… might… be genderfluid.

I don’t know what to do with this revelation.

When I was a teenager, I hated the whole fucking process of getting ready for school because I had to have “an outfit”, something “cute”: a pretty blouse and a skirt type thing like, my mom said that I had to wear something besides a t-shirt and some kind of pants or jeans and I’m like why?? My brother literally wears the same thing everyday why can’t I?? Which might just be a tomboy thing but, I distinctly remember multiple occasions declaring that I “wished I was a boy.”

I still hate having to present as feminine all the time; I want to feel like a boy sometimes…I want to “dress like a boy“, I refrain from wearing certain things because I’m always told that it looks masculine, that I look too girly to wear such masc. clothing… Does everyone not feel this way?? I thought everybody felt this way?? I feel like a girl most of the time but wanting to physically present differently is not a universal feeling?? What??

This might be fused with social conditioning but…. reading “You can be more than one gender at once” and “You can be more than one gender at different times” was like…. Oh

elfwreck

Can confirm that not everyone feels that way. I am cis. I have never wanted to be a guy, never thought I might be a guy, never wanted to not be a girl/woman, never wanted a different array of body parts, never been unhappy with the parts I have (other than occasional discomforts - I have been unhappy when they hurt, but in the say way that I’m unhappy when I have a headache or I’ve twisted my wrist. I want them fixed, not gone.)

I have had the occasional random, “gee I wonder what it would be like to be a guy” thought, much in the same way that I sometimes think, “gee I wonder what it’d be like to be a dolphin,” or a tree, or a telepathic superhero from Krypton. I have more than occasionally wished I got some of the privileges that guys get; I have not even considered “pretending to be a guy” in order to get them. (I mean. That’s work. I’d have to learn a whole new set of clothing styles and social rules.)

If that all sounds alien and weird and wrong to you, and definitely NOT how you experience gender, you may not be cisgender. (I want to say, “you are probably not…” but my understanding of other ways of doing gender is pretty damn limited.)

If you yearn to be another gender, or no gender, or multiple genders… you probably are. Cis people, in general, do not wrestle with these concepts.

I looked at the list of “You Can…” that @kyraneko set up, and… nope. Not a single one of them applies to me. If even just one of those applies to you, is something you want to do… you may not be cis.

4ttacus-4tlas

Wait shit

Wait

I didn’t know that wanting to get rid of “gendered body parts” or like wanting to be kind of in between genders could be a non-cis thing. Like I kind of assumed that maybe I just cared a bit more than others,, but when I read that,, what do I do with this information.

Okay well we’ve had a lovely time having a mini panic over gender

Cool

Great

,!;)3$

kidrat

have some fucking tips for androgynous presentation that mixes femme and masc styles and isn’t just ‘be afab and wear trousers from the men’s section’

recently I wore some of those trousers with the wide non form fitting legs and added small heeled boots. 10/10 would recommend I felt very high fashion. looked masc but was making the femme click clack heel sound.

basic loungy outfits can be made 100% more queer by adding colour. srsly jeans with a nice tshirt is queer as fuck if the jeans are orange.

wearing the femmest outfit possible, long skirt, cute blouse, etc. becomes a power move when you do so without a single shred of makeup. bonus if your hair is short. bonus if it’s not a pixie. bonus if your shoes are stompy

find all your Statement Pieces. wear them together. voila.

we all know about suspenders. now put them where they don’t belong. attach them to skirts. attach them to your trousers but leave them hanging

literally just wear stuff you think looks rad because if you enjoy both masculine and feminine clothing styles it naturally follows the stuff you think looks rad together will end up being genderfuck

embrace alternative fashion/weird charity shop finds/vintage/stuff that breaks fashion rules even if its ‘technically’ femme/masc. part of fitting into gender roles is wearing mainstream and current femme/masc clothes because gender roles and their associated accepted dress are always shifting so anything that differs from that is automatically subversive.

billowy shirts. undo them as much as you’re comfortable with. somewhat obvious but the howl’s moving castle vibes are v strong. am I a femme arts student or a dashing masc pirate type? who knows.

floral patterns feel a billion times more masc if the colours are bold.

personally after I stopped wearing makeup I felt I lot more able to just be like huh. that’s my face. and feel kinda triumphant in the ugly parts of it and just be unabashedly weird. and if that’s not genderfuck idk what is. same w not shaving my legs tbh. I enjoy just existing.

that said if you do like makeup, using just (just. no foundation or shit) eyeshadow or just lipstick? also a power move.

If you go for the classic dapper style of androgynous presentation but want something closer to androgynous than just weird masc, try adding a soft girly jumper to your manly trousers and etc.

adding an emphasis to your natural waist to a masc outfit (with a belt or something) is a good way to feminise it and vice versa with emphasising a dropped waist in a femme outfit to bring attention away from your smaller natural one (again with a belt or maybe low waisted trousers)

long coats are very good I feel my most formless and inexplicable when my outer layer goes straight past my knees.

obviously all this is gonna be slightly biased to my agab/personal style/body type/etc. but yeah. there’s my tips and hopefully none of them are weirdly unachievable or equate androgyny with masculinity

sapphic-fem-support

Love this. 💕

Some other androgynous styles I like:

• Not shaving underarms and wearing lacey tank tops

• Wearing makeup but contouring to appear more masculine

• Shaving the sides of your hair but growing the rest really long

• If afab, binding your chest when wearing a dress or other high-fem outfit

• Makeup for creative, not gender-related things. Put glitter and fake freckles and purple eyebrows and shit

• Super masc clothes with makeup, painted nails, and fem jewelry

• Huge cloaks. Can’t see my gender under my fucking cloak

queerautism

I fucking love all of this

genderqueerhelp-blog

so, you’re nonbinary? good for you!

and you don’t have flashy dyed hair? cool!

people frequently tell you that you’re not valid? happens to the best of us!

you don’t use they/them/theirs? it’s ok!

i accept you! and so many others do too!

elephantedespressante

They/them pronouns are totally valid and not at all that hard to use/ask for!! You are amazing if you identify with these pronouns and again, totally valid.

cloudsinsummertime

thought i’d make this post as a reminder to trans people who are freshly out or are preparing to be out

i’ve only been out 3 months or so, but i could have really used this information when i was gearing up to coming out and during the first month or so of being out

you’re going to feel really weird for a few days/weeks/even months after coming out and switching name and pronouns. i started to get used to my new name and pronouns about a month in to my social transition, but it can take longer (it can also take shorter i’m sure). even if you’ve been going by your name and pronouns online for years like i had, you won’t have actually had your name and pronouns used in reference to you most likely and hearing yourself called that is most likely going to feel jarring at first.

the first couple weeks after being out, my name and pronouns were really foreign to me. i’d been using them on tumblr for 2 years mind you but not irl so there was no practice really. it felt really foreign to hear and is often cringe because it felt so unnatural, even though it wasn’t in a bad way, and for the first week or so i was worried i wasn’t even trans and i’d just made the whole thing up. this was despite being aware i hated my deadname and pronouns and often couldn’t stand hearing them used in reference to me. i forgot all that and instead worried that because my name and pronouns didn’t sound natural immediately that they never would

three months later and i don’t even think about it. i don’t doubt my transness anywhere near as much and i’m used to being called my name and pronouns. honestly, it feels so much more natural than my dead name and pronouns ever did and i’m glad i stuck with it. i’m a lot happier and even if occasionally it takes a second to register that i’m being spoken to or spoken about, it’s happening less and less and it isn’t painful to hear people address me or talk about me.

you’ll get used to it. chances are if you’re coming out you’ve known you were trans for a while and either way, most cis people don’t question their gender to the point of transition (although of course there’s always going to be some). your name not feeling natural at first is perfectly normal and i promise, if you stick with it, you’ll find that you’ll end up so much happier and won’t even think about it after a few months. the awkward phase is worth it, i absolutely promise :)

butim-justharry-deactivated2019

they’re so valid

thebookwormbakery

who?

butim-justharry-deactivated2019

the person who uses they/them pronouns reading this

ningkritontot

TRANS PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE- Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

bidet-of-evil

i love this because it simultaneously reassures trans people, reminding them that they are not alone, while lightly threatening transphobes because there’s nothing they can do about it.

genderqueerpositivity

(Image description: seven images of pride flags with centered white text. 1) the trans flag with the words “Trangender and gender fabulous”. 2) the bigender flag and the words “bigender and gender fabulous”. 3) The genderfluid flag and the words “genderfluid and gender fabulous”. 4) the graygender flag and the words “graygender and gender fabulous”. 5) the agender flag and the words “agender and gender fabulous”. 6) a genderqueer flag and the words “Genderqueer and gender fabulous”. 7) the genderflux flag and the words “genderflux and gender fabulous”. End image description.)

queerlection

[Image description - Image of the nonbinary pride flag with the text: Respect nonbinary people. End description.]

polyamorysuggestions

polyamorous non-binary people? absolutely amazing!

girl-debord

sorry, liberals, there’s only 0 genders

bwitiye

theres one gender and we have to share

dykebarry-archive

mom says it’s my turn on the gender

brendonuriesource

the-ross-winchester

Trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, genderflux.

Please don’t repost and give credit if used.

beegerbucket-blog

It is okay not to fit in that box everyone is trying to cram you into.

spookyandsleepy-blog

Little things you can do to feel better if you are trans and you can’t really transition right now

For guys

Baseball caps? Those are good.

Short haircuts. If anyone questions, say it’s for convenience.

For your neck: fang pendants (very badass). Or a dapper lil bowtie.

Big ass stompy boots.

Those cool belt buckles. You can get a basic one or something with a cool design (like a dragon!).

Don’t shave. Let your body hair grow. Unless you feel uncomfortable.

Buy some spicy-smelling perfumes or other cosmetics. Or if there is something that says “Forest” on it, this one is also good.

If you can, try some weightlifting. It will make your muscles better and release some of that sweet sweet testosterone. But remember, fat and skinny men are also very handsome, so if you can’t, don’t sweat it.

Eat plenty of protein for a testosterone boost. Also, zinc from seafood - like shrimp and salmon especially - will help that chemical magic. Leafy greens, pomegranate, coconuts, garlic also help. Watch out for soy and tofu! They raise estrogen. And raisins are great, but dried apricots are not.

Remember that no matter what you are 100% man (unless you are a demiguy/bigender, then you are 50% man or whatever it looks like for you, that is still very cool, and if you are genderfluid and currently a dude, that’s still very good and valid).

For gals

Kitten ear beanies are so pure and good (just like you).

Let your hair grow to a nice length. If anyone questions, say you found a new style.

For your neck: simple crystal pendants (very pretty).

Crystal bracelets!

Lil ballet flats.

Shaving can make you feel a whole lot better. Remember - some cis girls also have to shave!

Just a little bit of lip balm goes a long way. Oh! And clear nail polish!

Sweet-smelling cosmetics are your best friend. You can probably get on eBay or in your local store a nice bottle of vanilla body mist.

Google some exercises for a bigger butt, if you want to try it. If you can’t, remeber less-curvy women are also beautiful.

Eat plenty of soy, flaxseed, sesame seed, dried apricots… I know that those give you a bit of extra estrogen. Apparently coffee can also do it? Getting estrogen from diet is harder. Just eat a lot of tasty fresh food. Remember to treat yourself.

Remember that no matter what you are 100% woman (unless you are a demigirl/bigender, then you are 50% woman or whatever it looks like for you, that is still very cool, and if you are genderfluid and currently a lady, that’s still very good and valid).

For nonbinary pals

Simple beanies.

Google “androgynous/unisex hairstyles”. Look how many cool options you have! You might tweak one to your needs, like make it longer, or shorter, or add some cool hair dye…

For your neck: scarves. They come in many colors and patterns, cover up your neck so you don’t get cold, also you can hide your neck bump or lack thereof.

Friendship bracelets!

Trainer shoes.

Baggy hoodies are really nice.

You can shave and don’t wear makeup. Or rock the beard and eyeshadow look. Or really, anything else.

Cosmetics? Citrus and lavender are considered unisex scents. You can also wikiHow to Make Perfume and mix some scents you like at home.

Exercise, if you are healthy enough to do it, is good. Try running and yoga. Remember, media sells us the myth that androgyny=thinness, but it’s bullcrap. Fat, curvy, muscular people can all be nonbinary and/or androgynous.

You can look up the guys and gals sections too. Maybe you will find something that helps you.

Remember that your identity is 100% valid and true, no matter what. Yes, any kind of identity. No matter if it’s a neutral void or a mix of everything, no matter if it’s stable or changes. It’s valid because you are valid.

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the Lord's people are a peculiar people