a Mess™

call me niki // indian // 22 // any pronouns

[aircraftsillustrated1976-deacti]

[gemstone-gynoid]

[yumebfdotcom]

Hotel Transylvania

[hellothepixel]

im sorry the what

[missjukebox8bit]

this one

[koth-harvest-final]

the current meme is based on the following which is based on that one

which i assume is from tumblr based on how one of the panels is lifted from that "its ok i am a lesbo" picture

[hellothepixel]

So the timeline is

- I am lesbo

- I'm stuff

- i am lesbo x I'm stuff fusion

- transfem Jonathan and transmasc mavis

[missjukebox8bit]

as far as anyone can tell this is the original “I am a lesbo” image, for the record

[astrathepasta]

I'm sobbing oh my god

[queerlilacroses]

I heard...now don't shoot the messenger but this is the og I am gay tho

[redwyverndht]

Why the fuck is it woody and bolt

WHY THE FUCK IS IT WOODY AND BOLT

[biraptor123]

Wait why does Dracula refer Joanne as *his* daughter?

[gemstone-gynoid]

if your child marries someone, that partner becomes your daughter-in-law or son-in-law. 

[handhond]

[aquilacalvitium]

There is

So much going on here

[delta-domine]

This is like an archeological dig site but the philosophers are still alive and talking

[arthreena]

I...Im not even gonna try

[psshaw]

[lilifred]

everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally

tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store

[psshaw]

Not a biologist, but the evolution of mammals is way more granular than you might expect. Humans are the sole surviving species of the genus Homo, which was a real party before the other ones went extinct. You're in for a fun time.

Domestic cats are believed to be domesticated not from tigers, but from the African wildcat:

Which evolved to be small just because it's sometimes more useful to be small.

And no, hamsters are not off-brand rats. They're part of the rodent order, which includes beavers, moles, capybaras, guinea pigs (yes, also wild) and lots of other fun things:

[thesecretuncle]

Shit. This dude knows an extreme amount about a niche subject. Crazy what you can accomplish when you have treatment resistant IBS

[psshaw]

I want it on record that I shit mostly normal.

[byjove]

architects designing houses in the 70s-90s: okay, what if you had to step up and step down and step up and step down and the floor itself was a deadly tripping hazard

[tragicburnout]

[duckdotcom]

why don't you agitate the contents of a barrel full of cream for a while then reach your hand inside and maybe you'll feel butter

[duckdotcom]

[gauntletqueen]

Awesome coincidence happened

[markovchaingang]

insanely funny that they put anti-piracy ads on actual legit dvds back in the day. "hey you, person who presumably bought this dvd the legal way and doesn't pirate. here's an annoying ad we're going to make you watch. by the way did you know there's a way to download and watch this shit for free? well you do now. please don't use it. bye bye". i can't believe it didn't work out for them

[loveridden1999]

top 3 hobbies for young adults:

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

3. agonizing over the present

[melancholygirls]

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

[stillalittlekid]

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

[christ-with-a-why]

[melancholygirls]

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

[memorydatas]

i’m crying at this follower i got. are you trying to get me to believe elon musk followed me. They only have one post and it’s

[orcposts]

TOOLTIP: you can get more funny juice by performing the "jerking off" activity. find it by selecting genitals from your inventory!

[goblinposts]

> use genitals

[orcposts]

You can't use that right now!

[goblinposts]

> use hand on genitals

[orcposts]

You can't use that right now!

[goblinposts]

> use genitals on hand

[orcposts]

You can't use that right now!

[goblinposts]

> help

[orcposts]

I don't know that word.

You are clobbered by the OGRE!

You have lost your genitals. . .

[goblinposts]

man fuck this game

[diet-cokesiut]

Think you could take a 10x10 inch cock? Asking for a friend 👀

like is it a cube or am i misunderstanding

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[valtsv]

it's always "you gnawed off your own leg to escape like an animal caught in a trap" and never "why didn't anyone try to help you out of the trap" or "why weren't you provided with any other resources to escape the trap with except for your own teeth"

[trufflesmushroom]

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

the other night I dreamt that ao3 got a new number go up button titled "jorked it"

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[lastoneout]

At some point in your life you'll be making congee and the recipe will tell you to cook it for a specific amount of time, and when that timer goes off you'll think "it's far too watery, maybe I should add some corn starch or just let it cook for five or ten minutes longer" but this is the devil speaking. It's that watery now because it's hot. It will firm up a bit when it cools off, and then even more if you put it in the fridge, and even more if you used stock instead of just water. If you cook it too much longer or add a thickener you're gonna be eating rice jello instead of porridge.

Trust the recipe. Learn from my mistakes.