[a Tumbleweed IS A BIRTHDAY BOYYYY]

| DO NOT MESSAGE ME ABOUT FUNDRAISERS I'M BROKE AS FUCK | pfp by @citadelofbone || it/eye/they| | adult | | artist, queer, crybaby, neurodivergent, C-PTSD, DID, wtf is going on in this brain | | self-appointed Starcrossed ambassador |

[geniuscomediae]

hi tumblr!! it's that time again: I'm a disabled trans guy* in r*ssia who currently has no job and needs to at least afford groceries and rent and in the best case scenario would love to buy a new T vial and a binder that won't crush my ribs (about 40$ each)

so I'm opening comissions! (since the "donate anything at all and I'll draw you a picture" hadn't worked once)

I'm currently only able to draw on paper, so there are the options:

1. a full-color piece is 30/20$ for full body and half-body pictures respectively

2. a clean sketch (± color accents) is 20/10$

an extra character is +50% in both cases!

I DON'T do: mecha, complicated backgrounds, real people

I DO: everything else. fanart, OCs, gore, erotica, straight-up porn, weird fetishes, furry – whatever your heart desires. I can even draw your otp being domestic and soft with each other, you freak /j

also if you don't want a comission from me (which is sad but understandable) you can still DONATE to my boosty (link embedded) (unfortunately it's the only way I can get money from foreigners) or straight to my card 2202206271473691 if you have a russian bank account/know someone who does!

please share🙏🏻 I'm trying to survive here with massive mental health problems, slowly but surely deteriorating physical health and virtually no support system

[straightboyfriend]

if it’s your birthday: happy birthday

if it’s not your birthday: reflect on why that is. 👆🏽

[geniuscomediae]

happy birthday to me!!

[sandmandaddy69]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: majestic-ass biscuit, although I dunno how majestic it’s gonna be for $4.99

[cobaltspartan]

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

[cybergirl-cathy]

This pride month, give a round of applause to all the masc transfems and femme transmascs in your life. And $200. They deserve it

[10001gecs]

I need to suck you off until you’re groaning like a beached whale 🫣

ok you can give me a blowjob but take the time to think of a more sexy simile please

[10001gecs]

😭

[divenlydecayed-deactivated20260]

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

[crowdokobolds]

Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh

[vriska]

its required that every day you think about women kissing

[ooo-silly-worms]

Pottery sounds terrifying to me. Every post I see is like "Here's this awesome art I made!! Pray for me that it survives The Kiln™ :')" I don't think I could cope with making art that could quite easily blow up and I have no way of controlling that. You guys are true heroes.

[claypigeonpottery]

@bazanite you are so correct

[ikissyourmomwiththismouth]

He's not laughing hysterically because he was right about the exit being fake. He's losing it because he just revealed, to everyone, that given the opportunity, Jax would choose to stay in the circus forever - even if that meant dooming them all to be stuck as well.

And because it was just an adventure in the end?

He revealed it for nothing.

[argumate]

LLM psychosis is simply the democratisation of being surrounded by yes-men and unctuous toadies, an experience previously only accessible to dictators and kings and cult leaders and venture capitalists

[thestrangestrix]

Read this as LMM and thought to myself, "What the hell is going on in the Broadway fandom?"

[argumate]

Lin-Manuel Miranda Psychosis is a phenomenon caused by people seeing that lip bite photo and immediately going off the deep end

[autistic-rock]

they should invent a job for autistic people where you get paid for thinking about special interest. At the end of the day your boss comes in hands you a form that asks "did you think about special interest today" & you answer "yeah " & then they give you a million dollar. every day forever.

[fuwungi]

Happy pride month!! Reminder that trans rights are human rights & theres no LGBT without the T 🏳️‍🌈🫂🏳️‍⚧️

[copperbadge]

Men, boys, and eggs of my acquaintance, I cannot stress this enough:

Nobody worth being with will ever judge you based on your deli sandwich choices.

Sincerely, a dude who had to watch like two dozen men pretend to find vegetarian sandwiches unthinkable in order to maintain a sense of masculinity today.

[copperbadge]

The sando gender spectrum I osmoted this weekend according to a specific type of dude:

1. Roast beef is the most masculine of sandwiches. The only sandwich it is permissible to ask for by name (we did not have roast beef as an option).

2. Ham is an acceptable substitute for roast beef. There appears to be some controversy, however, over the bread options; we only had two, croissant or ancient grains roll (gluten free). Croissant is considered slightly more manly than ancient grains UNLESS you are under 20 in which case "ancient grain" sounds badass.

3. Turkey is okay, obviously not ham but if you don't like ham it's an option as long as you don't show enthusiasm for it. Definitely has to have mayo however. Mustard is a bit much. (Initial field research indicates mayo is the manliest of condiments but we have not introduced barbecue sauce into the study yet.)

4. Chicken salad is woman food. Absolutely not acceptable unless you announce loudly that it's for your wife or that she's making you for your health.

5. Vegetarian wraps require a recoil reaction or a sheepish "oh, no, no, what meats do you have?" protest. We had the veggie wraps off to one side so vegetarians could get to them more easily, and guys would come up to the wrap boxes because there was no crowd/line, then I'd say "that's veggie wraps" and they'd stagger back.

To be clear, most of the people of all genders at the event were totally fine, this was a small and specific set of guys -- mostly older dudes and (unsurprisingly) their young sons or grandsons. Maybe 20-30 people out of the 400+ attendees. But it really was both sad and a little funny to watch them unnecessarily assert their manhood using deli meat to me, a guy in a floral shirt with neon blue hair handing out box lunches at a charity event. My indifference to your masculinity is so vast it has its own international calling code, fellas.

[copperbadge]

Friends, I have volunteered in the lunch tent once more and I have new scientific findings to share regarding the Sandwich Gender Spectrum.

We still do not serve roast beef, the most toxically manly of all sandwiches, but it turns out that there is a sandwich option almost as masculine, the mention of which will preclude a certain type of dude from even asking for roast beef:

The Italian.

For those unfamiliar, an Italian sandwich in most American sandwich shops is composed of ham, capicola, salami, and sometimes pepperoni, with provolone, the usual sandwich veggies, and a drizzle of Italian dressing.

The hierarchy from ham-downwards remains undisturbed by this revelation currently rocking sandwich discourse, but new data has indicated that the Italian sandwich occupies a special place above ham and technically below roast beef but so acceptable a substitute for roast beef that I only had one guy ask me for it this time around. I would say, "We have ham, Italian, turkey, or veggie," and the Certain Kind Of Man would look skeptically at the ham and then ask for an Italian.

I am now working on my doctoral thesis in Sandwich Gender, where I will be examining whether there is a direct correlation between how masculine a sandwich is and how weirdly homoerotic the name is. I'm going to call it "I'd Like An Italian: Gender And Sexuality Between The Buns."

[tgirl-subway-the-dark-ages]

i find this very interesting

[oak1985]

I would like to submit additional data for your groundbreaking study. The deli nearest me has some sandwiches named after four private schools in the area. The boys school: roast beef. The two girls schools: vegetarian (different veggies, color coded to the school colors). The co-ed school, turkey.

[copperbadge]

I feel....I feel so peer-reviewed. Independent replication of results!

[krasnoarmeyets]

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

[senpairyusaki]

Pretty princess 🥺👑

Idea credit:

Speedpaint vvv

[csny]

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person