His little pony...

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@geosparks
His little pony...
extremely funny scenario in which rose joins shane as his plus one and moral support for going after the guy he wants at all stars because she can be his buddy and also his cover for making up for lost time with ilya
which is complicated by the fact that ilya takes one look at rose and shane at the bar (rose's arm looped through shane's in what ilya doesn't know is just a friends move) and BOOKS IT so he doesn't have to see this
and then proceeds to avoid them at EVERY fucking turn
this all terminates into rose going "fuck it I'm a true bro and I'm making this happen so help me GOD" and managing to arrange locking them in a closet together (which is. so funny. but this is not the time to point out the punchline.) (she'll save it.) so ilya can't run away.
and it's very sweet and they have their moment of honesty and yay back to ilya's room now fo-
the-the door is locked.
because it turns out that rose got a LITTLE too enthusiastic in locking it after her plan worked PERFECTLY and now something in the mechanism is broken.
so in one sense, shane did come out of the closet, but in another sense that's going to be funny only probably a few months from now, he AND ilya are now stuck in the closet in a way that is both metaphorical and also. painfully literal.
This scenario is also raising mental images of Rose from Minnesota "I have brothers" Landry being so determined to pin Ilya down to make him talk with Shane that all glamourous movie star persona drops away and she just fucking tackles him, and Ilya has no idea how to react to this attack so she actually succeeds in wrestling him to the ground
Shane's looking slightly scared by all this in the background, Ilya's saying "Shane! Your girlfriend attacked me!" And she's going "I'm NOT his girlfriend, now you two are going to TALK to each other, or so help me god" and drags them both to the closet
the idea of petite movie star rose landry tapping into her roots and turning into a linebacker to take down giant professional athlete ilya rozanov is SO goddamn funny
because also ilya would NOT know how to fucking react
like he wrestles with svetlana for fun but this is?? NOT FUN?? IS THIS?? AN ATTACK?? WHAT THE F U C K IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?? HE CAN'T ACTUALLY HIT HER BUT HE IS BEING FUCKING?? PINNED DOWN?? OH MY GOD???? DID HOLLANDER TELL HER ABOUT THEIR PAST TOGETHER????? IS THIS JEALOUSY?? THAT'S EXCITING BUT ALSO GET?? OFF??? WHAT THE FUCK???
"Shane, help me, call her off!" as Shane's just got his hands out, palms up, in a helpless "what am I supposed to do?" gesture
"shane!! get your girlfriend!!"
"she's not my girlfriend!" "i'm not his girlfriend!"
*brief moment of ooooh??? yay???? before returning to 'pinned to the ground with his face in the dirt' reality* "OKAY WELL GET YOUR WHATEVER OFF OF ME."
Lmaoooo knowing Ilya, not girlfriend means his brain would probably jump to fiance or worse they eloped and now WIFE
"GREAT FOR YOU. GET YOUR FUCKING FIANCEE OFF OF ME."
"what?" "what?" "what the fuck are you talking about?"
"CAN WE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WHEN THERE IS NOT FUCKING CRAZY PERSON ON TOP OF ME, MAYBE?"
true insult to injury is rose so honestly thinking out loud, "you know, i thought you would be harder to tackle, honestly."
and ilya is just đ yes, perfect. everyone just pile on when he's already on the ground in every sense of the phrase. đ
happy pride month to country mama lynn and country mama lynn only
Someone give this woman a damn crown and medal
Happy pride month to country mama lynn and ger gay son only
aint it crazy how many people realize they're queer when they have the language to express how they feel and a support system to encourage self exploration????
I never stop enjoying reading this. Literally everyone's lives improves.
this made my day omg
KICK THE CAN!
Letâs play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13œ years now
Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation
You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed
Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical
Someone on reddit
already suggested a
sapphibbatical
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
how could you leave out the best partâthe aquarium bit
"become a fish" (gay)
men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi
The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"
Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!
I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.
this is an insane story
âSome men never returnâ
Helpppppp đ
UmâŠhereâs the reddit link? Iâm speechless.
Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?
That's the beauty of the gaycation!
It get wilder. I only found out about this b/c of a youtube video reading the Gaycation post but, this isn't even the first one.
7 years ago someone posted this-
And 5 years a different user posted this-
What is happening with these people??? What weird ass cult did they find??
I read the shithead guyâs rambling in Nagito Komaedaâs voice
"some men never return because they're "totally feminized" into the state of permanent "pseudo-gayness"" is my favourite line out of the entire post
It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.
This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.
"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?
"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?
"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??
I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"
#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories
i like it too :)
rest in peace to this diva
Very generally speaking, when you see a black man in a piece of media, be it tv show, movie, video game, etc. thereâs something you often see a lot of writers do. To go against the stereotype of black men (and black people in general) being dumb and lazy, youâll see this black male character being smart and an achiever. ïżŒ
The Black Nerd. A common character type, the nerd will always be very interested in all things nerdy: science, video games, mathematics, etc. In an continued effort to combat stereotypes, the Black Nerd will be lack athleticïżŒism, probably being asthmatic (the nerdiest of conditions). The Black Nerd will dress smartly, suspenders and bow ties. Theyâll always talk smart too, using proper English with complex words.
Now, I donât have a problem with a black character being a nerd, indeed black people are a people; we arenât all the same and we all have varying personalities. The problem I have is that too often we see a distinct disconnect between Blackness and the Black Nerd. The Black Nerd doesnât listen to hip hop or rap, only classical music. The Black Nerd only has white friends, the only other black characters are into not nerdy stuff. The Black Nerd never ever uses AAVE at any time in any context.
And again I must say that Black people, not being a monolith, there are no hard fast rules to being Black. Iâm more than sure there are Black people like what Iâve described above, Iâm not saying itâs impossible; what Iâm getting at is that the only Black Nerd we see. There are Black Nerds that play basketball, that bump Kendrick Lamar, and use AAVE since itâs an ever changing dialect. Iâm just saying thereâs no one way of being a nerd and no one way of being Black.
Well @dumbey, seems weâre in similar boats
This ainât about him, this is about Black/Asian solidarity. Focus.
If you EVER think Anthony Head is anything less than an angel then youâd best remember that I have always been a huge fan of his and weâve always had a little contact over the years and he heard Iâd come out as Trans and was having a hard time and that I was kind of sad that the photos I had from conventions with him were of me with long hair and no binder and they were all signed to âSarahâ and so he invited me to spend the day with him at his farm and he picked me up from the station and we just hung out and had lunch and he insisted on paying and took loads of photos and had them printed on photo paper the same day so he could sign them to Jay, along with other photos of him as Giles and Uther and he literally spent five hours chatting with me and got all of the pronoun stuff right every time and then he dropped me off at the station, gave me a final massive hug, waved me through the ticket barrier and insisted I message him when I got home so he knew I got back safe. (More HERE)
I keep seeing this reblogged intermittently, despite it being over a year old now, and I guess Mothering Sunday is as good a day as any to give an update, so here goes: Since this happened we kept in touch, and he and his wonderful partner Sarah have become my surrogate parents, in fact, I just finished talking to Sarah about the mothers day present I got her today.
Tony and Sarah have spent the last year supporting me in every imaginable way. They are there for me whenever I need them and it is amazing to be part of such a wonderful family, even if itâs not by blood. Plus, Iâve never had anyone as proud of me as Anthony is, I won an award for my performance poetry, and he put photos of my trophy on his facebook and twitter pages, raved about how incredible it was and wouldnât stop telling me how proud of me he is.
They are always there for me, if I need advice, or just a coffee and a chat. And I am so proud, and so happy, and so amazed, to know them, to be loved by them, and to love them. What I thought was  a one-off event became the beginning of a new chapter in my life. They have become my family, somehow, and I wouldnât change that weird turn of events for the world.
If you EVER think Anthony Head is anything less than an angel then youâd best remember that I have always been a huge fan of his and weâve always had a little contact over the years and he heard Iâd come out as Trans and was having a hard time and that I was kind of sad that the photos I had from conventions with him were of me with long hair and no binder and they were all signed to âSarahâ and so he invited me to spend the day with him at his farm and he picked me up from the station and we just hung out and had lunch and he insisted on paying and took loads of photos and had them printed on photo paper the same day so he could sign them to Jay, along with other photos of him as Giles and Uther and he literally spent five hours chatting with me and got all of the pronoun stuff right every time and then he dropped me off at the station, gave me a final massive hug, waved me through the ticket barrier and insisted I message him when I got home so he knew I got back safe. (More HERE)
The British actor, who also appeared in Merlin and Little Britain, died of complications from pneumonia.
do u wanna see the gromit sweater i knitted last year
what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm
Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.
Oh my god?????
Yeah you're right about beautiful I'm squeezing him until he pops!!!!! I love this guy I think I'm going to make an edit real quickly Calboy I love you I'm so sorry people are calling you a freak??????
Weâre babysitting tonight and I have learned a lot of things in the last hour. Namely that my 4yo niece cheats at hide and seek.
Itâs my turn to hide and I climbed into the bathtub and pulled a towel over my head. I can hear her downstairs complaining to @mothman-etd that she canât find me and she needs help lol
They still havenât found me and she asked why Iâm so good at hiding and he told her in the most serious way possible that her auntie is a witch who can turn invisible.
So now I kinda feel like Iâm obligated to sneak out and hide somewhere sheâs already looked and then act surprised she can see me.
I âreappearedâ in her bedroom and the look of wonderment on her face when she found me was that of a die hard Disney girl who just realized her aunt is probably the villain in all her favorite stories and adjusting her moral allegiance accordingly.
âOh! So thatâs why your house is Halloween all the time!â
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.