btw one of the key components of actually being in a healthy relationship is just asking for things that you want. i keep seeing posts on this website saying 'i really want to do/receive [X] but my partner has never done it'. just ask. 'nobody exchanges love letters anymore' ask. 'i want to have my partner's hair in a locket like the victorians' just ask. 'i want to be bought flowers regularly :((' literally just ask. your partner doesn't know they're being held to these expectations and that you're unhappy unless you tell them. it's so unfair to expect your partner to read your mind. 'it's less special if you have to ask :((' grow up and stop pretending you're the lead in a romcom. when people say communication is crucial they mean it !! just ask !!
Flowers is a great example here IMO, because you can ask one/a few times and then get flowers without asking, indefinitely! My Spouse is not an instinctive flower buyer but I only had to have a couple conversations with him about WHY I wish he would give me flowers spontaneously for him to get it. And that conversation was 12 years ago! And I’ve gotten 12 years of the spontaneous, didn’t-have-to-ask flowers I wanted from that instance of asking.
If somebody loves you and there’s a simple thing they could do to make you happy, to make you feel loved and cherished, they want to know about it! They WANT to do it, they just need to KNOW what it is!



















