Life is less stressful when you are dead.

The Ghost of Optimus Prime, every Optimus Prime. I die, I come here, I spend some time in the afterlife, and I come alive again somewhere else. But I’m still dead here, as long as any Optimus is dead then I remain! WoooooooOOOOoooooo!

[ghostimusprime-blog]

‘Tis the Season

Woooooo. It is I, Ghostimus Prime the Ghost of Optimus Prime, come to tell all of yoooooo that the jolly person in red and white knows when you’ve been naughty or nice and climbs down the chimneys of your dwelling to give you presents or beat you with a sack of coal depending on which you’ve been. Wooooo. I’m not looooooooking forward to doing it this year though. I’m already covered in dust from filling all your coal sacks.  If you don’t like being beaten with a sack of coal for being naughty, wooooooooo, then you shouldn’t have voted for someone who wanted to revitalize the coal industry. How else was anyone to stimulate the demand for such an outdated fuel?

Woooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooo, Ghostimus Prime Here, The Ghost of Optimus Prime

Welcome to halloween mortals. My favourite night of the year, wooooooo, not because I do any haunting tooooonight. I actually take tonight off from haunting, amateur night you know, but it does mean that the bar here in the afterlife is almost empty so I don’t need to worry about all the others hogging the barstaff’s attention. Prompt service every time, that is what a Prime deserves, wooooooo. Ghostimus Out

[slenderwave]

Wooooo! It is I Ghostimus Prime, the Ghost of Optimus Prime, here Soundwave. 👀 + Are yooooooo at all worried about when yoooo inevitably reach the afterlife and have tooooooo face the horde of bitter enemies, not tooooo mention horrible fete, which awaits yooooooo here? Are yooooooo afraid of mothbots? Wooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[[He is not afraid of mothbots, or of being surrounded by enemies who can’t make him any deader than he’ll be when he arrives.]]

[[But a horrible fete? Nobody likes a bad party.]]

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooooooo, you will be made to run the Aunt Sally stall, and never beeeeee allowed to order from the drinks tent or the pub, and all the customers will beeeeeeeeeee rotten shots with their cricket balls and bump them all off your visor and never the Aunt Sally, woooooo. And it will rain, but never deter the ooooooooooompah band which practices riiiight next tooooooo yooooooo. That is your terrible fete. OOoooOoooOOO, Ghostimus Out.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Optimus: I sure love my girlfriend

Megatron: I have a girlfriend

Optimus:...

Megatron: yeah, she's real

Optimus: where is she?

//Megs sweats nervously

Megatron:...in stasis on Cybertron

Optimus: and her name is?

Megatron:...Megatronia

-->

Wooooo Ghostimus Prime here, the Ghost of Optimus Prime, and I just want to say. We had this conversation. Multiple times. Why do you think he was so angry when he shot Halogen in the face? Woooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[highglossfinish]

Woooo, Knock Out, it is I Ghostimus Prime the Ghost of Optimus Prime and I caution you not to give statements to the Daily Mail. They'll twist anything, wooooo, you should see how they reported one of my Boxy selve's "Bring Earth Into the Galaxy Initiative", "Immigrant Bot Wishes to Increase EU power" indeed! I don't usually condone violence against the humans, but yoooo can tell Ultra Magnus and Bumblebee that I said it is okay to target the Daily Mail building. WOooooooo! Ghostimus Out.

You know, I’m actually growing accustomed to the fact that you exist.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooo, that is good to know Knock Out. Because yoooo should know that as the best of my Autobots, I shall never leave you and will be with yoooo; always.

Now I gotta go, they are having spiced mercury sprinkles out on the conga deck. Woooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[a-good-distraction]

Wooooooooo, It is I Ghostimus Prime the Ghost of Optimus Prime, I hear you yoooooooooooo have been loooooooooking for me woooo. Well here is your ghost, Wheelie, wooooooo. What is it yoooooo want?

Help

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Woooooo, Wheelie, it is I Ghostimus Prime here the Ghost of Optimus Prime. What wooooooooooooooold you like help on? Is it tips on how to turn on Bumblebee, because I don’t think it is right toooooooo abuse my position in the afterlife by looooooooking in on your private time like that. I’ll leave that to the Ghosts of Starscreams. I will warn yooooooo that the native Starscream of your current universe is up to sooooooomething with Glitch Mice. Beware, beeeeeeeeeware, wooooooooo! Ghostimus Out.

[a-good-distraction]

I feel like I shouldn’t talk to you when I’m sober.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooooo, Wheelie, I have returned. Returned from the bar to be specific on my way tooooo the sun lounger. The afterlife is very well equipped in leisure items. Doooo not worry about sobriety. Yoooooo should feel free to indulge yourself if yoooo want to. Then weeeee can talk all the time. Woooo, Ghostimus Out.

[a-good-distraction]

Wooooooooo, It is I Ghostimus Prime the Ghost of Optimus Prime, I hear you yoooooooooooo have been loooooooooking for me woooo. Well here is your ghost, Wheelie, wooooooo. What is it yoooooo want?

Help

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Woooooo, Wheelie, it is I Ghostimus Prime here the Ghost of Optimus Prime. What wooooooooooooooold you like help on? Is it tips on how to turn on Bumblebee, because I don’t think it is right toooooooo abuse my position in the afterlife by looooooooking in on your private time like that. I’ll leave that to the Ghosts of Starscreams. I will warn yooooooo that the native Starscream of your current universe is up to sooooooomething with Glitch Mice. Beware, beeeeeeeeeware, wooooooooo! Ghostimus Out.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wheelijack wants to talk to a ghost you should talk to him

Woooo, it is I Ghostimus Prime the Ghost of Optimus Prime woooo. I dropped him a line, if he can see it through the Cygar smoke. Ooooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

What is with all the "woooo-ing" stuff? You used to be more "Freedom is the Right of All Sentient Individuals" and not all "Woooooo, I'm a ghost".

I am allowed hobbies. Yooooo should see the universe I took up Basketball and toured with the Harlem Globetrotters.... Oooooooo.

[ask-smokescreen]

Wooooo, it is I Ghostimus Prime, the Ghost of Optimus Prime, here Smokescreen. I just want yooooooo to know that I do not blame yoooooo for my death. I would never have expected you to successfully intervene in a fight with Megatron. Now if it had been Kup, him I blame. He could have done it. But you couldn't. Woooo. Ghostimus Out.

…

You know, sometimes, I wonder if it was maybe a good thing I didn’t intervene.

Megatron is doing a not bad job…

[ghostimusprime-blog]

And I’m getting a much needed holiday, where my biggest concern is remembering to put down my cocktail before appearing in a vision. Wooooo. Yes, yooooo would say that yooooo have done well settling into Megatron’s new regime? Getting all the praise and guidance and kind words yoooo need from him? Woooooo. Ghostimus Out.

[highglossfinish]

I wish we could do something for you, after you being all inspected by Tarn and whatnot.

He’s yet to knock down my door and key my finish/feed me into a grinder, so I think I’m in the clear. 

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooooo. It is I Ghostimus Prime, the Ghost of Optimus Prime, here Knock Out. Just tooooooo let you know that if Tarn does spraypaint you three shades of green and half dip you in a vat of neon yellow before feeding you feed first into a slow roller, then I will make sure that we save a seat at the afterlife bar for yooooo. Somewhere with a great view of the mortal realms, for yooo to watch over your loved ones and the owls desecrating your corpse. Yoooooo are goooood Decepticon for an Autobot...or possibly the other way around. I’ll even cover your first three rounds at the bar toooo.

[ask-smokescreen]

your dads a decepticon, your best friends a decepticon, you work for the decepticons. how aren't you a decepticon?

I did work for Optimus when he was around- I’m only helping Megatron- Megs- because I care more about helping our home than holding a grudge.

… Look at my chest?

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooooo it is I Ghostimus Prime, the Ghost of Optimus Prime woooooo. You should really think about stopping wearing that ooooooo, not because you are not an Autobot (although you coooooould try emulating your friend WOojit more, he is gooOoOOoood Autobot), but if you were adopted into another faction then it is really disrespectful to your adoptive parents to not wear their sigils. WoOOOoo. Imagine a child of Scottish human Clan Campbell got adopted by Scottish human Clan McDonald and kept on wearing his soup can sign instead of the Golden Arches? Woooooooouldn’t that be very disrespectful to them? Think about it. Wooooooooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[highglossfinish]

::Decepticon Knock Out, urgent circumstances bring you to my attention. By decree of the Founder and reinstate of the new Lord, I hereby declare a formal investigation on your recent activities as an active unit of the Empire. Accusations of involvement with members of the Enemy have been broached. As this is the first official complaint filed against you, I am loath to leave you without the opportunity to dispute this claim. How do you plead?::

No, please, do go on. I never get brought up on charges for anything fun.

[voraciouslyindulgent]

::You…don’t sound particularly bothered by the betrayal.::

[highglossfinish]

If he’d pounded just a bit less Dark Energon into his spark at the end and spent just a fraction less time threatening his subordinates, I’m sure I would feel worse about it. Megatron may be gone, but so’s the caste system. The council, the guild masters…even Prime is out of the picture permanently. Every major goal the Decepticons set out to achieve, we’ve gotten.

That, not Megatron’s self-indulgent pity party, is what matters right now.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Woooo this is Ghostimus Prime, the Ghost of Optimus Prime, and I’m getting better. Woooooo. Also, Tarn, I condemn your attacks on Knock Out, he has been as good as any Autobot even if he claims to cleave still to the label Decepticon. Wooooooo. I treasure him more even than some Autobots I could mention, like Smokescreen, oooooooeeeeoooo.

Knock Out, I hope this support heartens you.

Woooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[ask-smokescreen]

If yoooooo want me to be Primely though Smokescreen, then here is my Primely advice. Reform Airachnid. She is your personal project. You must not let her die, and you must work constantly toooooooo make her put her past behind her as it hurts her as much as it hurts anyone else and make her your truest friend. Woooooooooooo, Ghostimus Out.

but

i tried

she wants nothing to do with me

she does it because she likes to

… didn’t you tell bee to stare at random objects

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Woooooo it is I Ghostimus Prime, the Ghost of Optimus Prime again.

Try harder.

The path of the true Autobot is strewn with hardship and peril, woooooooooo. Those who overcome the demons of their base nature quickly are no challenge; those whoooooooo have lost their way to the darkness the most need the greatest help. Are yooooooouu happy toooooo let her soul darken and her spirit become ever more painful and corrupted just because yoooooooooo struggled with the challenge? Who shall pay the price for your apathy Smokescreen?

Remember yoooooo wanted me to give you some real Primely Advice and less carefree and relaxed dead person whooooo ought to be retired. This is it.

Ghostimus Out.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Wooooooo, it is I Ghostimus Prime the Ghost of Optimus Prime here. I want tooooo ask you all toooooo tag your spoilers for Harry Potter and the Daniel Witwicky.....I mean cursed child tooooOOOOoooo a minimum. Woooo. Ghostimus Out.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Ghostimus Prime here, the Ghost of Optimus Prime, wooooooooo!

Woooooo! The worst part of being dead is just how much time in my diary is taken up with appearing in dreams to Bumblebee or Rodimus Prime, ooooOOOoOOOooo. Honestly, I’m always Bumblebee I is proud, or I am Rodimus I am Disappoint! Woooooo. Occasionally the other way around, but not often. Lately it has been Bumblebee, safe sex please. OOOooooOOOOeeeOOO. Really the worst part is putting down my drink before appearing in dreams. One of these days I am going to appear and they won’t listen because they are too big at staring at the multicoloured luminescing cocktail I was drinking before I got called away from the bar.

Woooooo, Ghostimus Out.

[highglossfinish]

Top five worst memories/moments?

Two involve Breakdown and two involve Impact.

Only one involves the Autobots, but as they say, quality over quantity.

[ghostimusprime-blog]

Woooooo, is the one about us Autobots the time weeeeeeeee scratched “Knock Out is an Aft and loves Wheelie” on the inside of one of yooooooooooour body panels where it woooooooooooooouldn’t be seen for a vorn? OOoooooo? Ghostimus Out.